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Age is a number
March 17, 2010
2:36 pm
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wifey002
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September 27, 2010
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Me and my boyfriend have been talking about marriage. We have been together 2 years. The love we have is so strong for one another that it would hurt us deeply and put us into depression if we broke up. There has been a concern from me how others would look at us. I shouldnt worry what another has to think about me or the one who I love that treats me great and is a man. He is definitely not like some men who turn out to be jerks. Some say its hard to find a man out there or theres no good ones, but I think I found me a good one! I am 23 years old and he is 37. We have almost a 15 year age difference between us.
I finished college with a Bachelors degree and once we decide what we are going to do we are going to move to a bigger city and get better jobs. He can get one anywhere because he is with job security and is great with it. The main concern is alot im sure have no clue with the age difference between us, but does it REALLY matter? Seriously? With the way the world has turned around and around and who knows how long humans will be on Earth, does it really matter? We are definitely happy. The way he feels for me I just can not get into words.

March 17, 2010
3:44 pm
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brownie
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September 24, 2010
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Hello wifey002

Follow your heart.Don't worry about what people think or say.I am 45 and there are young men in their 20's that are attracted to me and i was somewhat attracted to them.I used to let people affect me in what they think but not anymore.When you love someone its hard to break away from.People will tell you all kinds of crap because either they are unhappy with their mate or either with life.So don't let anyone discourage you.

Keep your head up and keep going.Don't let no one put a hold on your life.Life is too short.Enjoy!!

March 17, 2010
3:47 pm
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onlyboringontheoutside
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The question I would ask you is "why are you worried about what others think?"

I hear a big fat SHOULD in your post, that you know you SHOULD NOT worry about what others think, but you are, so don't squelch it. Just let it be for a minute. What's at the root of that concern? If it's just a general insecurity and not wanting to deal with other people's opinions, well that's one thing. Remember, opinions are like a**holes... everyone has one! But, if it's something else, that perhaps deep down you have nagging fears about the age difference, that's making other people's opinions seem a little more intense for you and causing some alarm.

I look back now on when I was 23 and I was a very different person then. I was dating a much older man, 17 years my senior. We were together almost 2 years, lived together also, and I was very much in love with him. It didn't work out, and looking back now over a decade later, I am so glad that we didn't get married. Not so much because of the age difference, but because of where *I* personally was in my own development at 23.

Figure out what is bugging you enough to post in a counseling forum about this issue, and I bet you'll have your answer as to whether age REALLY matters or not.

Best wishes, OBOTO

March 17, 2010
7:04 pm
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Sense of Vani
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September 29, 2010
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Wifey002:
My heart honestly feels for you as I have walked in your footsteps. When I was 20 I had a baby and married the father who was 35. We were married for 5 years then he disappeared until my son was already out of college. When I saw him, I was like ew. I didn't then, but I now realize he wasn't just 15 years older than I but he was more like generations ahead of me. I am so thankful for divorce! True, some of it just depends on the individuals and there is no "but" after that. lol What I am trying to tell you without seeming harsh or rash is that there are so many obsticles that lie ahead that will be much harder for you than for other couples. There were people around that thought it was sick of him to want to be with me because he was like an old dude trying to live out some fantacy and then there were the opposites who thought I was a gold digger, or weird because perhaps I could only get an old guy and then there were all those in between and to top it off,,,,there was my family, who loved me in spite of it all but knew it would never work out. Looking back I can't imagine being my age and being married to a 63 year old man, I mean what do you do with them? You know if you're both healthy he will die first, and is that fair to a child/children and most importantly, what about YOU. I just want you give you food for thought, I wish, I wish, I wish someone would have tried to explain this to me. Of course hind sight is 20/20 and please don't mis-understand me, I really do want you to put you first and I'm not trying to "sway" your decision, just trying to explain what can happen (or not)and some of what you can expect. I don't know of your feelings for each other and God knows I wouldn't judge you, I am just trying to "enlighten" you from my perspective. In retrospect, I believe age does matter but not for everyone, just make sure you put you first. Good luck dear.

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