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afraid of hurting others feelings
November 4, 2004
9:29 pm
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workinonit
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Good luck Camer! I am very proud of you!

(((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))

November 4, 2004
10:11 pm
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CAMER
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((((hugs right back at ya, Workin)))) you inspire me too, we are kinda going thru the same thing with meeting *nice men* for once!!!!

November 6, 2004
3:58 pm
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CAMER
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ok, met Mr Sweetie today, we walked in the park with the dogs, kinda silent at times, no big deal...went back to my house, watched tv, and now he is napping on the couch for a few hours!!!! am I getting resentful towards this man??? its so new, only 3 months, but is this what I have to look forward to??? I don't want to tell him how to act or what to do, that is His stuff. What you see is what you get. Maybe we are just 2 different types of people, with different interests. Maybe I am making too much of a big deal about this???? We are going out tonite for chinese food and a comedy club, hope that is fun & tomorrow not sure, but we have plans to hang out together...I just feel like i am in such a funk. I will just take this one day at a time. And see what happens...needed to vent, thanks for listening!!! camer

November 6, 2004
4:21 pm
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sdesigns
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Hi Camer:

"What you see is what you get". Well I think you're getting a couch potato. He's not even trying to hide it. One of the books I read mentioned acceptance ("Women Who Love Too Much" maybe)- accepting them for who they are and not trying to change them. Its OK if you're too different, and its OK if you don't like it. Doesn't sound like couch potato is on your list of desirable traits. That's what dating is about. Who's idea was it to go out for chinese food and a comedy club?

My ex was a computer freak. About the same as TV- was always sitting in front of that box. More important than anything. I hated it.

Like I said before, if he's trying to impress you he's not doing a very good job of it. And this is the BEGINNING of the relationship. SD

November 6, 2004
4:28 pm
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CAMER
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yep, thanks SD...I was the one who decided on the Chinese food & comedy club..he is a very "understanding" man...I am not a control freak, but usually come up with the ideas. He is a sweet guy and all, but I guess from dating this year, I can pick up pretty quick if I see red flags or not. I too feel soooo bad, cuz if I do end it with him, I feel like I will hurt him so much. I don't want to lecture him about his habits, and
I don't want to push any issues, what I will do is enjoy tonite and see what 2morrow brings, and from my instincts...this doesn't look good for a relationship compatibility wise. (((thanks SD!!)))

November 6, 2004
4:32 pm
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sdesigns
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Somehow I knew you were the one who made the plans. I think you would be compassionate when you told him of your differences. Don't need to lecture, he has his mother for that. And he's not going to change, he is who he is. He sounds like a nice warm puppy that would follow you anywhere- but he won't take the lead. Have fun tonight. And least he is taking you somewhere even if it is at your suggestion. SD

November 6, 2004
4:36 pm
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art angel
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Camer,

I pretty much agree with SD. I would also want someone who does a HELL of a lot more than watch TV (I am also not a TV person)-- even if he is nice. There's got to be more than "niceness" and health in a relationship, I believe. Good luck with everything and please keep posting and let us know what happens. We're here for ya.

art angel

P.s. You sound very rational about this, very healthy, and you are just so AWESOME. Again, I look up to you sooooo much. hugs!

November 8, 2004
1:05 pm
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kathygy
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Camer, don't worry too much about hurting his feelings. A relationship takes two people. He needs to know who you feel about his lifestyle. He needs to know what your needs are. That doesn't mean you are trying to change him but you are being honest and communicating. It sounds like this relationship is doomed anyway from the way you talk about it. Being nice is not enough for a good relationship. You need more than this man has to offer. The sooner you tell him how you feel the better for both of you. You're not doing him a favor to stay if you are not happy. He deserves to be with someone who is happy with him just the way he is. You deserve more.

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