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Afghan Sisters....Where the love and Frienship grows...
November 8, 2006
6:00 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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LL, have I ever told you that you are just a peach...OK, you are just a peach. I too, feel like you are my TRUE sisters. I love you all, and I hurt when you all hurt. It is something that I can't explain to anyone in my real life because I know that they would NEVER understand. I truly believe that you all care about me and love me, and yes, even LL and Cyn, I can feel you holding me. I don't care how stupid it sounds it is the truth....

Mandy

November 8, 2006
6:03 pm
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ggfred4
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mich, you broke a rule...no sorry's...can't tell you how many I have deleted once they were typed...

Your h may be at a loss right now and is doing what he can to suppport you...mine would be, and mine sure would not have taken off work to help with the kids, so I admire that...It is okay, if you can't talk...maybe just a hug, maybe show him that you appreciate his caring, he is probably scared too...I am NOT telling you what to do mich...just don't want you to shut out someone who loves you that is physically there because we can't be even though we all want to be....

I am holding you so tight today...is that why you felt it. I just gave you a big squeeze too...I love you mich, I won't leave you mich...No matter what, I will be here mich...

November 8, 2006
6:10 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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Would any of you be interseted in taking my 3 month old for the night? I just need a night that I don't feel needed. I love him to pieces, and he is SO good. AND he sleeps through the night....not to mention that he is the CUTEST thing alive...Oh my gosh, he is just so beautiful...I am just feeling that I don't want to be needed for a little bit, and I don't trust anyone like I trust you guys with my babies.....Just thought that I would offer. You all can kiss his little cheeks all the time...They are so stinking cute...and he has the most beautiful blue eyes you can imagine....Just like his daddys....Lots of dark hair...

November 8, 2006
6:11 pm
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needtoheal
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Hi girls--

mich-- thanks for sharing!! I think it is really important for women to be connected with other women.. I have realized this now because I had been involved with two men consecutively and lost my connection with other women for many years.. So I am so glad that I have all of you as my sisters.. YOu do mean a lot to me.. and each of you have touched my life in so many ways.. thank you.. I love you MICH and I have been holding you and thinking of you all day...I saw your post to Ma Strong and do not ever feel that you are butting in because you want to get connected to Ma.. SHe is a wonderful and wise woman.. You are my sister and It is ok for you to be on that thread as well..

Cyndra-- thanks for telling me about your scottie.. Mandy seems to fit in here with us because she seems to have ADD too.. always looking for something to distract her.. too bad it is not with all her toys that she does have..

LL-- thanks for the information about the books from Al-anon. I am going to have to check them out.. And for the Road Less Traveled..
I am on Day 4 and thanks for holding me.. Ma Strong had said that the next two days will be difficult.. because like I remembered yesterday the longest amount of time that pond scum went without contacting me was 5 days.. but I am not worried about it because I have made the decision that I want him out of my life.. I am so done with all the emotional pain and games that he played with me.. SO I am cutting the violin... It takes two to tango and I do not want to dance with him anymore... I am done.. I am done with comsuming myself with thoughts about him, trying to take care of him in ways that he could have and should have done for himself.. He lives with his parents at the age of 36 and probably will continue to do so.. so let that be HIS problem and his PARENTS problem..
I want to focus more on myself.. I feel that my ex-husband and pond scum stripped me of who I am to the point that I do not even know Who I am anymore aside from being a mom to two great boys... that is what I am trying to discover again..
thanks for being in my life and giving me support and advice at this difficult time.. and for showing me that there is hope with time......

GG-- my sweet GG..

I know that you have been occupied with having to go in for your tests this Friday.. We will all be with you on that day and holding you.. You are a sweet and dear sister and I will be thinking of you while you are gone,... I love you GG and you have been an extremely important person in my life.. thank you for being YOU... the loving, caring and thoughtful sister that you are... I was thinking about you all day today,... all day....

I want you all to know that I appreciate all of you

love,
need

November 8, 2006
6:17 pm
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cyndra820
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Just finished working out. Going to sort out dinner.

Mich, I promised to never let go and I mean that. So, yeah, I'm still holding you.

GG, glad hubby is going for the surgery. Maybe he can hold onto the laptop until you come out of recovery? Definitely as about the internet connection there.

LL, thank you for being here.

Need, Mandy doesn't have ADD, she's just a puppy. TRUST me! My mother has one and I have to leave her alone when I visit. She drives me a bit crazy.

Love you all!

November 8, 2006
6:24 pm
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ggfred4
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mich, you don't have to ask about the baby...we will all take care of him and let you rest...gosh, it has been 18 years since I have done that!!! That is what we are here for mich, to help you...love you, the h is home, will check in and out and saying something now about my nose in the computer again...so what!!! Hey, a friend told me that I needed to learn to start saying that and I just did...okay, didn't actually say it, but it was good practice....

mich, please keep us informed...I love you and we are all holding you close....

AND Need, about to call the National Guard on you sis...!!!

November 8, 2006
6:28 pm
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needtoheal
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I have to admit that I guess the reason why I have been feeling so damn angry is because I have felt the anger from other women here who feel that because of the outrageous JERKS we have suffered...

I went to bed so angry last night that I thought about one of the guys from college who talked to me after that rotten incident. He was there -- a bystander. He saw what was happening and left.. then helped me by opening the door to the dorm..

I did not know why I had thought about him just before falling asleep and then it clicked.. and it helped me to see why I am so angry and done with pond scum...

He was a man that saw what was happening and did NOTHING.. just like my father...

and my ex-husband also emotionally abused me with his passive-aggressiveness... He left the marriage but yet could not walk away so I filed for divorce..

Then pond scum -- verbally and emotionally abused me and was another man that did NOTHING.. he did not contribute to the relationship and wanted to run.. so he can run.. I have let go of him FOR GOOD..

Sorry .. just venting... I did not want to open up about me at all knowing all that everyone is going through right now.. especially MICh and GG..

but had to get this off my chest because I am still angry and hopefully this anger will help me to continue to feel strong and not upset IF pond scum does NOT contact me in the future...

November 8, 2006
6:36 pm
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needtoheal
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GG--thanks for thinking about me as much as you have been..

Cyndra-- Honestly I know that she does not have ADD and is just a puppy.. she is a blessing.. feel so bad for her because she needs to exercise and it has been raining and raining... I was just mocking on myself about the ADD thing...

MICh-- I would love to hold that baby,. I was thinking about your baby today because there was a baby that was 3 months old at my work today.. and I had forgotten what it was like to have a little one.. I can't believe my youngest will be 7 on Friday.;. He lost another tooth today..

UH OH... TOOTH FAIRY COMES TONIGHT..

CAN'T HAVE THE ADD KICKING IN TONIGHT OR THE TOOTH FAIRY WILL DISAPPOINT HIM

happened already once before. I was so exhausted that I fell asleep and almost forgot .. good thing that I got up in the middle of the night that night...

At least Jake lost his tooth in gym class. I hate it when the tooth is hanging there by a thread...

The last time he lost his front tooth when he was at his father's house and it fell down the drain while he was brushing his teeth.. so that night when he came home here I recommended that he could write... so he wrote a note to the tooth fairy,.. I kept it...

November 8, 2006
6:36 pm
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ggfred4
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NEED, NO APOLOGIZING....LL, am I the only one trying to follow the rules here!!! Go ahead, LL, bonk them on the head...I have been good, for once...

Seriously, that was a fantastic realization need...I am so glad you shared that,,,,it makes sense and it will help you so much...Yea!!!! Need!!! Love you need,,,,

Are you going to help me babysit tonight for mich and give her some rest?

November 8, 2006
6:41 pm
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needtoheal
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I would love to help babysit..

the boys do not have school tomorrow or Friday because of teacher convention so they want to stay up late tonight.. I told them that it is okay with me... love to do things like that when we can..
We even had a NEW YEAR"S EVE party when it was after the NEW YEAR...

they are now laying on the floor with my Blanket from my bed and snuggling and watching their favorite tv show.. pokemon...

I am sure they would love to be apart of babysitting tonight...

GG-- you can remind me about the tooth fairy...

November 8, 2006
6:41 pm
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cyndra820
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Need, What the heck are you apologizing for? Do I really need to post Rules 1 and 2 AGAIN??!!!

I know you were mocking your ADD. Sheesh, could I really think anyone would think a dog/puppy had ADD? And if I did don't you think I should get a bonk on the head? I thought so!!!

(((GG))) How are you?

(((Mich))) send the little baby. We'll be happy to take care of a three month old who sleeps through the nigh. Since I get up around 4:30am EST I don't mind if one of you central people takes the late shift.

Cyndra

November 8, 2006
6:45 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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Which one of you shall I send him to first. He is so lovable...you would just die at how cute he is...not that I am bias or anything...just stating facts...

November 8, 2006
6:47 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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What happened to my big sister? I am missing her...lots...

November 8, 2006
6:49 pm
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needtoheal
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I know that I have no reason to apologize... that is another issue for me..
I will try to remember the rules..

although I do need a BOnk once in a while...

CYndra-- was your dog crate trained?
I have her in the crate.. works well.. she has been great at the house training .. but that is maybe because she was already 4 months old when I got her...
She does not go in the house and scratches at the door when she needs to go out..
I got her knowing that Cairne Terriers are independent but loving, loyal and intelligent..
She is sleeping in her crate while the boys are under the blanket in the living room watching tv..

I am getting to the root of some of my fears.. and by being here with all of you, it has helped me tremendously... and I want to thank you all for being my sister....

November 8, 2006
6:55 pm
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needtoheal
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MICH --

He is welcome here anytime... I am so sure he is even more handsome than ever...

November 8, 2006
6:57 pm
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needtoheal
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and we are having a slumber party tonight so I will certainly be awake for a long time tonight..

I'd better get some coffee...

November 8, 2006
7:07 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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Need,

You are safe...he doesn't EVER cry. He has to be starving or freezing cold (right after his bath) to cry. He has just started to giggle. He is the one thing that has truly put a smile on my face today....he is sso sweet. I just love him. I love them all, but he is just so innocent...where my three year old is enough to drive any one individual right up the frickin wall. She is absolutely beautiful, EVERYONE tells me how cute she is...my response is always...take her for a day...you will change your mind. She is my little human wrecking ball. My five year old cried over EVERYTHING. My 9 year old is going through some serious pre puberty mood swings. Yeah...For nine, she is WAY too developed...it literally scares the hell out of me. She is going to have boobs like mine, poor kid. Anyways, it is all good I suppose..

Love to you all.

November 8, 2006
7:15 pm
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lovinglife
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OK I think that as the big sister here (I LUV IT!), I get the baby first ...oh please, Mich, pleeeaaaase let me take care of him first. Promise I will take care of him soooooooo good and I'll sing to him too (I really have a way of putting babies to sleep with my voice- I laugh because I can't even carry a tune- but give me a baby in my arms, let me rock'em and sing to en, and sound alseep they go - and me too!) The only thing is I'm not the best at making babies giggle (love to here their giggles-precious) but for some reason babies don't find me funny : (

November 8, 2006
7:15 pm
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needtoheal
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MICH--

so I guess that is what my 9 year old boy is going through.. pre-puberty... !!!

November 8, 2006
7:17 pm
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needtoheal
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LL-- I agree.. YOU are the big sister so I think you could have him first.. He will love your singing.. I love it when you sing to all of us...

November 8, 2006
7:19 pm
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needtoheal
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MIch-- I mean it.. I saw this baby today and she was smiling at me and after I found out that she was three months old, i instantly thought " she is the same age as MICh's baby"..

November 8, 2006
7:26 pm
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lovinglife
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and Need- there are good men out there. Once we get ourselves healthy we will find them. As long as we stay *unhealthy* that's what we will be comfortable with...just posted something on Friendma's thread about sticking with what we are comfortable with- it is time girls (the single sisters anyway) to get healthy, step out of our comfort zones-and find ourselves a good man!

Did I ever tell you girls about the cute guy at work with these yummy muscles I only seen once because he is always wearing dress shirts and one saturday he came in with a t-shirt on and I just about died....yummm....yummm AND he is just the sweetest guy too. That is honesty what attracted me first to him - his personality BUT the t-shirt and muscles- perfect!!! The sad thing is I don't see him much : ( but I put GG on that detail- when she worry's about me she supposed to pray that cute guy and I can at least have the opportunity to talk...

sorry girls got just a little carried away...how did I go from talking about Mich's baby she is letting ME take care of tonight to cute guy???

November 8, 2006
7:33 pm
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lovinglife
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and yeppers I get the baby first : )

Need I'll get him sound asleep then you can take him K ? or maybe not, I love holding babies...ok you girls are going to see my selfish side here---

November 8, 2006
7:38 pm
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needtoheal
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LL-- You are right.. I know that I need to heal from all of this now..
I am starting to feel comfortable in being by myself.. and it has been only about two months that I have not hung out with the pond scum.. and quite frankly, I do not even miss him.. his constant drama, the mind games, the emotional upheaval of having someone who cannot even meet half of my needs or even comprehend what those needs are...

I now I am so glad that he made the choice to be unavailable for me the night of the funeral for my dad's best friend..

He did things to cause a reaction out of me and that night triggered what was really going on.. instead of just being numb and avoiding the reality..

He is a runner.. meaning that he cannot deal with things so he runs and that is not the type of man that I want in my life for me and especially for the boys.. we have been through that with their dad...

Pond scum had not been in a recovery program after quitting pot for 10 years.. so I guess he can be compared to what is called a dry drunk... , right LL?

November 8, 2006
7:41 pm
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needtoheal
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it's ok, LL to be selfish.. but I would love to have him for a little while.. so I can hold him and rock him in my arms.. and he can listen to me read to the boys...

my oldest just thanked me for having the party celebration tonight.. He said that it is a mini-party since it is not Jake's birthday just yet..

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