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Afghan Sisters..Starting a NEW Day...
November 14, 2006
5:01 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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I am home...

I am leaving for conferences though in a few minutes. Counseling went as well as expected...I am so messed up in the head, and I think that I finally proved that to Jim today. I am a little nervous because he is leaving for 12 days on thursday. Are you all strong enough to hold me together. We brought up something totally new today about my husband, which I had buried last night until Jody and I started talking. About feeling like before we got married that he sexually abused me. I am not a mess as in falling apart right now, yet, I am a mess psychologically. I promise to not go downhill tonight. You guys need a rest from that. But I may not be around too awful much.

November 14, 2006
5:08 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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LL are you still there?

November 14, 2006
5:14 pm
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lovinglife
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yes Michy- was just checking in

November 14, 2006
5:15 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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And you thought that you felt abandoned. You were here, because you posted your last post while I wsa poting to you all. Oh well, I have to leave. Will chat with you all later.

Mich

November 14, 2006
5:16 pm
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lovinglife
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Mich read your message- I'll be around all night- so when you are able to get on- we all be here AND YES of course we all will be able to handle you and smother you with lots of love & stuff.

November 14, 2006
5:16 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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LL, I will probably be back in roughly an hour. I will check back in, but not sure how much chatting I am going to do. A little lost and dazed and confused. Oh well. All is good I guess.

November 14, 2006
5:43 pm
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lovinglife
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gosh darn it Mich- I write something post it and think you've left... and then my ADD that I caught from GG & Need kicks in, and I off in la la land somewhere.

Now Mich, if you get back in to tonight after conferences, and you feel like you could just lay down and get some rest- go for it (but first tucked lil shit in of course) we can all chat tomorrow morning- dont think I'll be sleeping in- I'll set my alarm clock!) Or if you are up to doing a little chatting tonight- it's your call. I have to run into town around 8 cst and will back around 10.

And say you gave me a great idea- about tanning...haven't done since my heart was ripped out of me by AOL guy and I never wanted to feel alive inside again or ever feel good : ( But I am over that now and think I will get a tanning package too! And you are starting to go the gym?? Yea- Need is too, Cyn already works out and GG will while she is recovering will help her do some exercises while laid up in bed and me well, need to get my ass back on the treadmill I spent a few bucks on and oh, I am getting one of those dance revolution dance mats that GG hurt her self on- I do it at work on break!

November 14, 2006
5:45 pm
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needtoheal
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Mich--
I am glad that things went as well as expected today talking to Jim. We will all be here for you when Jim goes away... me , LL, GG and "kiwi" Cyndra!
I know you must be so exhausted and now you have conferences.. doesn't it seem like it NEVER ends... Hang in there sister and NO you are not around too much....

LL-- I would like to have a copy of the t-shirt GG is making: cute, single, available, emotionally healthy guys...

HOW ABOUT THE WORD: purge?????

after all that pucking last night,,, oops!!

I mean, PUKING.....

Wish we could purge all our thoughts about WHALE SHIT, FIB AND ..... hmmm, gotta come up with a vote for LL's two ex's.....

I know what you mean about someone who doesn't say goodbye but stands in the doorway...

My ex-husband (come to think of IT, HE needs a name too), and Whale shit also made me look pathetic which I am not..

And I will definitely have to be more careful and listen to my gut instincts NEXT time...

AND thanks for posting from the Courage to Change book..

Cyndra-- Hey girl, I am okay although I did not get much sleep last night.. felt like I only rested before I heard the kids wake up to their spongebob alarm clock which shouts : F = is for friendship
do stuff together
U = is for you and me

N= is for everything at any time at all

something like that...

And Cyndra I love it that you are a
*******KIWI************

Whale shit and a PEACH do not MIX

and FIB and a KIWI definitely does not GO...

thanks for asking about me... work went alright today.. Took Mandy for a walk when I got home.. Kids do not come home from being with their Dad until 7:30pm tonight so I have some time to hang here...

(GOtta come up with a name for the ex-husband.... any ideas??)

And Cyndra and LL I don't know if you guys checked out Ma's new NO CONTACT thread... She posted about NO CONTACT from Sam's site...

Have to go there later...and re-read..

My sweet little shit.......GG

I am sorry to hear that you have a KIDNEY infection.. As soon as I read the thread and you told us about the white cell count being high I knew like KIWI that it was an infection...

I hope that you are drinking fluids because I do not want you to dehydrate..

I do hope this clears up for you to get the surgery done...

HEy, GG-- I know what it is like to have to make myself go lay down and can't do it because of the whole ADD thing.... PLease.. I had to write notes while reading this thread so that I would not forget what I read.. sometimes it is that bad -especially when I am tired and stressed... Just took a dose of medicine so it usually takes a half an hour to kick in...

It's okay GG.. Even if you just rest like I did last night.. because your body wants you to rest...
and with all that PUCKING...

How about PURGE? what do you think??

and GG-- gotta find names for

LL's two assholes (ex-husband and ex-N!!)

and I also need a name for my Ex-husband ........ Give us some ideas and we can vote..

What will sound good to go with
***WHALE SHIT***
***FIB****
hmmm....

I do hope you are feeling better and SOON sweetie... We are all here with you... and holding you too...

((GG)), ((LL)), ((MICH)) & ((CYNDRA))

love to all......

November 14, 2006
5:49 pm
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cyndra820
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Mich,

Of course we will be strong enough to hold you together. I think you all proved that last night when you were all going through various things, but you held on to each other. You supported each other. So, yes we can hold you together while holding ourselves together. We are all that strong.

Don't worry about that.

LL~ Burgers sound good. I'm going to dog training with my mother. She doesn't want to go because she's depressed. She doesn't know why she's depressed. I'm wondering if she's been thinking about her mother. Her mother died four years ago and I think she may be missing her. She sometimes gets depressed around the holidays which are fast approaching.

I'll be back later. I'm talking to my girlfriend. My godson had back surgery on Friday and just came home. The gave him Oxycotin!!! I'm so floored about that!! Oxycotin to a 14 year old?!?! I guess that's what they do now. Poor baby. He even told me I was being nosy when I asked him a bunch of questions. I had to laugh because he is usually the most mild-mannered teenager I've ever seen.

November 14, 2006
6:07 pm
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lovinglife
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GG has a kidney infection??? Now where/how did I miss that? oh my poor GG...maybe you and Mich will both have to go to bed early tonight-now how does one get a kidney infection....

Cyndra~ Holidays have a way of bringing people down - sorry to hear that your mother is having a tough time right now. Hopefully she will go with you tonight...that is the best thing for depression - getting out and moving even when you don't feel like...I know as I shut myself in my house for six months.

Need~ Purge sounds good - no more pucking going on around here anymore! But we will be purging every once in awhile..

As far as names for the ex's, boy... that is a tough one...I'm not that creative...exB (the guy I dated after I got divorced is just asswipe , the guy after him is snake , exN don't sure what I will be referring to him as- somehow I think it might be a kinder name, not sure though, and exH- don't know about that one either...but he needs a name. I'll have to do some thinking...whose got *whaleshit*- I like that name but its taken...hmmmmmmmmmm

I'll be checking back in...

November 14, 2006
6:09 pm
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ggfred4
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mich, sorry I missed you...there was a wreck on the highway, so got home much later than expected...I feel like I have hardly talked to you lately and LL, I feel like you are actually talking now,,,yippee...

I'll take a burger though...I hate cooking...Just called dr.; they haven't even given him the message yet from the Houston doc from this a.m., so no meds have even been called out, and yes, there is now blood, u know...not gonna get graphic.

Need, I have just accepted that I am codependent and ADD honestly since Sept. and am learning what I can...and oh, it is not pretty, yet it explains so much of my actions and things make sense now...at least the ADD does...I talked to the h about it this weekend and he told me how much it frustrated him in the past and gave exs....etc...I had no clue...Like see, I need to go and lay down, but my insides won't let me...Only had 3 hours of sleep, got the stupid ass infection, but can't make myself stop...sick isn't it...Any info or advice in this area will be gratefully accepted, but as you know, a little at a time...can't be overwhelmed!!!

November 14, 2006
6:12 pm
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ggfred4
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going to think of some names...need to fold clothes, gosh, what is for dinner...hmmmm

November 14, 2006
6:16 pm
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lovinglife
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ok just to fill ya'll in - I AM NOT ON BLOCK regarding AOL guy and its really starting to piss me off...how rude can a person be?? I just chewed his ass about it. can his name be m/f???

Thank god GG that you are home safely. I'll make ya a burger- now that I can do on the grill....juiciest burgers this side of AAC.

And GG we all have gotten through the first step to our emotional health- being able to put names on the things that at one time we thought was just us, and would be us..but we're learning that others do the same things. And it truley is about taking it one day at a time...and to keep moving forward even if its inches...

November 14, 2006
6:20 pm
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lovinglife
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Girls- now I realize this is not healthy but does anyone have anything witty or something I could say to drive the point home to AOL guy...and Need why do they like to keep us around???? Perhaps because we're a trophey of sort...hell I don't know...

November 14, 2006
6:23 pm
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needtoheal
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Cyndra-- just looked at your thread giving thanks and saw that you got *BONKED*...
Could not believe it...

I think that is great that you are going to dog training with your MOm.. Can you take Mandy with ya? She is a pistol.. Now everytime the boys get their coats on she bolts for the front door and sits like she is demanding that they not leave. She ran out the door yesterday morning.. while it was raining,... and we had to ignore her because she wants us to chase her... We even shook the box of dog bones out the front door... God, what my neighbors must think... one night when I could not leave GG, I was puffing out the front door and laughing at whatever was going on that night... GG does that to me... makes me smile and laugh.... and now I am shaking dog bones out the door while being inside the house.....??

chat with ya later...

love ya KIWI
from PEACH

LL-- went to the thread about drug/alcohol addiction and atalose posted something excellent.. if you get a chance check it out....

I did not open this book last night ao I am going to post for yesterday's meditation from The Language of Letting GO by Melody Beattie

November 13: Taking Care of Ourselves

We do not have to wait for others to come to our aid. We are not victims. We are not helpless.
Letting go of faulty thinking means we realize there are no knights on white horses, no magical grandmothers in the sky watching, waiting to rescue us.
Teachers may come our way, but they will not rescue. People who care will come, but they will not rescue. THey will teach. They will care. HElp will come, but is not rescuing.
We are our own rescuers.
Our relationships will improve dramatically when we stop rescuing others and stop expecting them to rescue us..

Today I will let go of the fears and self-doubt that block me from taking assertive action in my best interest. I can take care of myself and let others do the same for themselves..

***********November 14********

Letting Go oF Anger

It's okay to be angry, but it isn't healthy to be resentful. Regardless of what we learned as children, no matter what we saw role-modeled, we can learn to deal with our anger in ways that are healthy for us and for those around us. We can have angry feelings. We can connect with them, own them, feel them, express them, release them, and be done with them.
We can learn to listen to what anger is telling us about what we want and need in order to take care of ourselves.
Sometimes we can even indulge in angry feelings that aren't justified. Feelings are just feelings; there is no morality in the feeling, only in our behavior. We can feel angry without hurting or abusing others or ourselves. We can learn to deal with anger in ways that benefit our relationships instead of ways that harm them.
If we don't feel our angry feelings today, we will need to face them tomorrow.

Today I will let myself feel anger. I will express my anger appropriately, without guilt. THen I will be done with it..

--- that is what I was getting at with dealing with these uncomfortable feelings and then be able to be done with them. otherwise they will resurface like they are now with Me & whaleshit...

love you all

nEEd

November 14, 2006
6:26 pm
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ggfred4
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someone please explain the fruit thing going on here???

LL, a burger would be nice...thanks for being so caring...love you!!!
Oh, and m/f is fine with me...really loving this cussing...people that know me would faint if they only knew...LOL...

November 14, 2006
6:30 pm
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ggfred4
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okay, still thinking of names...need, really love pondscum...don't change that one....

thinking about something lowlife,,hmm,, maybe a slug...slugshit...that may be too nice...kind of like m/f,,,LL! Now how many names do we need? This could be fun...

hey girls, what kind of conferences did mich go to? I am not going where I went last night!!!Can't...

November 14, 2006
6:31 pm
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lovinglife
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already then exN has just become m/f - think that was my exact words when I seen that he came online and I was STILL able to IM him....WHY? WHY?

And GG that burger also comes with a nice garden salad...oh just thought of something...who is going to take care of you when you're healing up : (

I think the fruit thing has something to do with Mich and Cyndra saying that she was just a bananna or something....girl explain...I caught the ADD thing and whatever was said went right over mine & GG's head...

November 14, 2006
6:33 pm
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needtoheal
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Alright now we got

for me-
1-whale shit -- ex b/f after divorce
2- ???? -for ex-husband

for Cyndra
-- Fucking IDiot boyfriend (FIB)

for LL
1- asswipe --love it for guy after divorce

2-snake

3-M/F idiot (MFI) ??? how about that LL??

GG- we need some names..... come on, girl... know you can belt some out

Hey, we can list them all on a t-shirt too in a circle with the slash through it....???

LL-- hope you are NOT catching the ADD thing from me and GG....

CYndra-- cannot believe doctors gave your godson who is 14 oxycotin... I don't care what dose it is... I took that once when I had the cortisone injections in my spine for herniated discs last year... and it made me hallucinate... Woke up screaming for MY MOTHER!!!

November 14, 2006
6:38 pm
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lovinglife
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and oh Cyndra- your poor godson- he must be in alot of pain...do you think its the med that is changing is mild mannerism to ????

and exN is officially just M/F with alot of emphasis on both words! And here I was going to think of a nice name for him...what do you call guys who like to torture women??? A sadist?

November 14, 2006
6:39 pm
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lovinglife
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and GG the conferences I would think are for the kids...now don't worry...ya worried last night, yes you knew that something was up with your twin but that doesn't mean is something horrible

November 14, 2006
6:41 pm
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lovinglife
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I am just pissed here the gosh darn M/F

November 14, 2006
6:43 pm
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needtoheal
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LOL.....

think I am going to PUCK from all

this laughter..........

SLUGSHIT--- that is it.. that is my ex-passive/aggressive husband

Whaleshit & slugshit

NO GG I will still call whaleshit -pondscum'

The FRUIT THING-------GG & LL

had to do with MICH saying that I was a PEACH

then CYNDRA responded to MICH and said then I am a BANANA

then MICH said she could be any fruit that she wants
SO CYNDRA CHOSE KIWI

LL-- Yes, it is in fact about being a trophy... the Whaleshit/pondscum even said that to me...

They will be incapable of finding someone who will tolerate them ... those narcisstic asswipes

so we can be called a trophy because we have held on....

make sense?

cannot post this ... what in the heck is going on????

must be too tired

boys are on punishment when they get home-- both of them-- so at least they will be quiet... have to do something separately without tv, game boys, army men....because they were both disrespectful to me this morning

November 14, 2006
6:44 pm
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lovinglife
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anyone here????????

I just want to cry...today I even thought about cute guy cooking for me and that is what I need to do...I need to get the thoughts out of my head regarding any possible hope left for the m/f....Why....Why... I just don't get it.

November 14, 2006
6:46 pm
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needtoheal
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that is the key word LL--- HOPE

why do we have hope for someone who treats
us bad??

and why do we have HOPE for a relationship that is DEAD-ENd?

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