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Afghan Sisters..Starting a NEW Day...
November 15, 2006
12:09 am
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needtoheal
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I agree...

November 15, 2006
12:10 am
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lovinglife
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has to stop...by what he is doing is keeping you stuck right where you were years ago...granted he may not have a clue how deeply it effects you by what he is doing...but regardless Mich- you will not be able to heal having to deal with this...

November 15, 2006
12:13 am
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lovinglife
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and he probaly means no harm or see the harm...

November 15, 2006
12:17 am
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lovinglife
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(((((Mich))))) I love you sis

November 15, 2006
12:18 am
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ScaredinMichigan
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Does that make me wrong though for feeling this way? I believe he has NO idea what he is doing to me...NONE. But it is killing me, it is making me angry, and I know that I can't move forward because I feel like it is still happening...

November 15, 2006
12:18 am
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needtoheal
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(((((((((MICH))))))))))))

I love you sis

November 15, 2006
12:18 am
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lovinglife
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and holding you...I am so sorry.

November 15, 2006
12:19 am
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needtoheal
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No it does NOT make YOU WRONG......

November 15, 2006
12:20 am
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ggfred4
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mich, you are going to have to talk to him about this...

November 15, 2006
12:21 am
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needtoheal
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You are NOT alone

November 15, 2006
12:21 am
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lovinglife
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Not at all Mich about being wrong...but it needs to be addressed to him, with him...see the thing is about sexual abuse and what makes it abuse is if it is not wanted - it is not a mutal thing.

where did I see that around...

November 15, 2006
12:21 am
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ScaredinMichigan
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Almost crying guys... I don't want to cry. I liked it better when I couldn't feel it. Or didn't. I am jsut tired of holding it all in. I was so oblivious to all of this though until last night. I hope that I don't sound as stupid to all of you as I do to myself. If I do, just forgive me. I don't believe that he is trying to hurt me. I really don't.

November 15, 2006
12:23 am
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lovinglife
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You need to cry Mich- you need to feel the feelings associated with it. and please don't say that you sound stupid because it is not stupid at all...

November 15, 2006
12:25 am
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ScaredinMichigan
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But it isn't like I fight it. I just don't say anything at all. I just take it to make him happy. Maybe I am afraid that he really does know what he is doing...I don't know. I wonder sometimes if he is the reason for some of my nightmares. I had a nightmare about a week and a half ago about him raping me. That scared me. And it NEVER crossed my mind as to why...I was stumped..to be honest. I believe that he loves me, I don't know...now I have spilled my guts, and I feel like I probably shouldn't have...Please forgive me in the morning...

November 15, 2006
12:25 am
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lovinglife
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and I don't think that he is intentionally trying to hurt...he doesn't know how it is truly hurting you...this has got to be talked about with Jim or between you & him...

November 15, 2006
12:25 am
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ggfred4
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there is nothing stupid here at all...you need a sit down talk...it is okay...I love you sweetie...

November 15, 2006
12:25 am
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needtoheal
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NOT at all stupid

You may have not realized it MICh
because of feeling numb

when we are abused as children we become
numb

and when those feelings return
we become
numb

again

Now you are aware

and you know you have every right

to feel what you feel....

about yourself
about him

your feelings MICH

your feelings COUNT

November 15, 2006
12:27 am
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ScaredinMichigan
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I want to go back to being numb though. I think I liked it there better....I just don't want to live like this anymore...I am so tired of being and feeling used and abused...

November 15, 2006
12:29 am
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lovinglife
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and isn't it wonderful that in the morning we start fresh with a brand new thread and just bury deep what needs to be buried...each day a new start - a new day of letting go of our hurts...

November 15, 2006
12:29 am
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ggfred4
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there is nothing to forgive...omg mich, I felt my husband did that two weeks ago,,,it was almost like it...woke up for work and he just got on top and did it...sorry for the wording and I allowed it...because i was half asleep...it was all about him...okay, i am crying for both of us

November 15, 2006
12:30 am
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needtoheal
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Survivors often have trouble setting

limits in relationships, because they didn't learn about healthy boundaries as children.

You may do all the giving. Or you may feel you don't have the right to say no.

BUt if you are one half of a relationhip,

you deserve to do half the

decision-making and to exercise

half the power..

from the book

November 15, 2006
12:30 am
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needtoheal
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Survivors often have trouble setting

limits in relationships, because they didn't learn about healthy boundaries as children.

You may do all the giving. Or you may feel you don't have the right to say no.

BUt if you are one half of a relationhip,

you deserve to do half the

decision-making and to exercise

half the power..

from the book

November 15, 2006
12:32 am
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lovinglife
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I used to like the numb feeling too esp when I started to feel- too scarey...

Now today I love to feel... I remember about a month ago walking to my Al-Anon meeting in the rain...I wanted to feel every rain drop on me...

November 15, 2006
12:34 am
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lovinglife
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don't ever want to go back to not feeling....I once ask Ma Strong if it is just better to stay in denial- stay numb verses coming out into reality because what I was experiencing was pain- overwhelming feelings...but we have to start somewhere because as we all know it doesn't just magically go away.

November 15, 2006
12:35 am
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ScaredinMichigan
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I don't want to feel, because what I feel right now, is ashamed, alone, scared, defeated, abused, used, embarassed, would you like me to keep going?

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