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Afghan sisters...LOOKING FORWARD...
November 5, 2006
1:41 pm
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needtoheal
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THIS IS HILARIOUS...

TRIED TO SET UP HOTMAIL WITH THE NAME POND SCUM ... IT WAS ALREADY TAKEN

LOL

November 5, 2006
1:42 pm
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needtoheal
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WHERE IS LL??

RIGHT WHEN I NEED A *bonk*!!!!

November 5, 2006
1:45 pm
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ggfred4
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that is so funny need, pond scum already taken...too many of them around I guess...

November 5, 2006
1:52 pm
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needtoheal
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for sure GG

and one is enough for me

for a lifetime

ok--GG I got signed up for e-mail

now got to go back and find

the website

be right back sister

November 5, 2006
1:52 pm
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LL, do you northerners hibernate up there or something? Where are you? You need to catch up here....

Need, getting the massive now lunch ready, but my son and husband are helping...thank goodness...chest hurts when I cough...

I have got to settle down and do some schoolwork today, but just not ready...being ADD, have to stay ahead or I sink...need, you are the first adult that I have ever really got into this topic with...it feels nice and makes me feel kind of normal...

November 5, 2006
1:59 pm
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ggfred4
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mich, I love you and hugging you sister...didn't want you to think that I let go...know you have your hands full up there!!! We are actually outside and barefoot, frying fish and french fries...It is beautiful here..

November 5, 2006
2:00 pm
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ggfred4
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cyn, where are you today? just wondering...and missing you...

November 5, 2006
2:10 pm
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needtoheal
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GG---

I DID IT...

found a lot of different codependent websites..

such as Codependencychat

The relief site

staying in today

GG-- I am so glad that we can talk about our ADD... it does feel nice and I understand all too well with myself being an ADDer and my son too

November 5, 2006
2:13 pm
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needtoheal
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GG---

My son always used to say that

he wished he was "normal"

being that he is ADD and have a learning diability

I tell him that he is "normal"---
that there are others who are just like me and him

and know all too well what it is like being so scattered---and that is normal for being affected with the symptoms of ADD

IT is not curable; managable

and if a person can accept and embrace it then that is half the battle: the other half is managing
those symptoms and knowing how to maintain the control of the symptoms

make sense??

November 5, 2006
2:14 pm
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needtoheal
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And I am thinking of all my sisters too

--mich

--cyndra

--LL

--ArmyAngel

November 5, 2006
2:17 pm
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need,I am missing my other sisters, but LL told me that it is slow on weekends sometimes...

I think one of my biggest problems is paying attention when people are talking to me; if someone walks by, distracted, phone rings, distracted, t.v. on, distracted...I have a hard time listening in church and professional meetings that I must attend. The internet sites help me, everything is visual and one at a time...I do have a hard time in online meetings and have to go off and im people during the meeting...my friend that I made there, more or less, in a nice and caring way told me that I need to stop so she can listen...that is okay though

November 5, 2006
2:25 pm
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ggfred4
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need, have to go check email; waiting for a picture from my niece who had a baby a month ago in New York, then start cleaning kitchen...check in soon

November 5, 2006
2:38 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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I will be back in a bit....sorry in and out...Love you all

November 5, 2006
2:44 pm
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needtoheal
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Hey girls---

GG-- that is wonderful that you are receiving the picture of the baby!!

Hi MICh-- thinking of you as always

I have to go now... Kids are impatient with me ... we are going to play monopoly jr. I have to follow through with my promises...

GG-- I know that feeling of distraction all too well my sister..
My medication helps.. keeps me focused..

I do not like the label Attention Deficit..
If you get to read DRiven to Distraction Dr. Hallowell and Ratey also do not like the label

We prefer Attention Variability because ADDers are good at focusing their attention-- sometimes hyperfocus-- but it usually only can focus on things that interest them the most.. we can filter or daydream and not focus...

it is variable...

I LOVE YOU ALL

November 5, 2006
2:54 pm
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needtoheal
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GG--

That is wonderful that you are receiving a picture of the baby.. how exciting...

Mich-- thinking of you and your family

and missing the other sisters as well

GG-- I know all too well what you describe...

If you read the book DRiven to Distraction Dr. Hallowell & Ratey describe ADD as not a deficit.. because many ADDers can focus or hyperfocus on the things that interest them or focus on things to distract them as well (for example, my son will focus on the tv because he wants to distract himself from something that requires sustaining a mental effort such as homework)..

blah, blah, blah... sorry to ramble..

I will check in soon.. My children are getting impatient with me.. I made a promise to play monopoly jr with them so I have to keep my promise...

GG-- what i find to be so ironic being a single mom ADDer and having a son with ADD is that I have to remember to take my medication and that helps me to help him to take his medication as well...

But I have learned different strategies and I am teaching him what could work for him as well.. I told him that what works for me might not work for him because we are all different..

BUt I do have to remind him that He

is NORMAL-- because although he feels that he is different there are others that suffer from ADD...
It is not curable but managable..
and the symptoms are normal for those that are affected by this...

make any sense???

Wish me luck in monopoly jr....

love to all

November 5, 2006
2:54 pm
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needtoheal
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GG--

That is wonderful that you are receiving a picture of the baby.. how exciting...

Mich-- thinking of you and your family

and missing the other sisters as well

GG-- I know all too well what you describe...

If you read the book DRiven to Distraction Dr. Hallowell & Ratey describe ADD as not a deficit.. because many ADDers can focus or hyperfocus on the things that interest them or focus on things to distract them as well (for example, my son will focus on the tv because he wants to distract himself from something that requires sustaining a mental effort such as homework)..

blah, blah, blah... sorry to ramble..

I will check in soon.. My children are getting impatient with me.. I made a promise to play monopoly jr with them so I have to keep my promise...

GG-- what i find to be so ironic being a single mom ADDer and having a son with ADD is that I have to remember to take my medication and that helps me to help him to take his medication as well...

But I have learned different strategies and I am teaching him what could work for him as well.. I told him that what works for me might not work for him because we are all different..

BUt I do have to remind him that He

is NORMAL-- because although he feels that he is different there are others that suffer from ADD...
It is not curable but managable..
and the symptoms are normal for those that are affected by this...

make any sense???

Wish me luck in monopoly jr....

love to all

November 5, 2006
2:56 pm
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needtoheal
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see what i just did... I did not double post but for some reason the computer said that I was offline...
God, I am not even going to go back and read both posts..

sorry

oops! fogot about always saying sorry... another thing we have in COMMON

November 5, 2006
2:58 pm
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armyleo
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Need when did you know or diagnosed ADD?

gg - you said also ADD but you self diagnosed. When did you realize?

November 5, 2006
3:11 pm
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ggfred4
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army, when i changed jobs 2 years ago, fellow teachers kept teasing me about being ADD; I interrupt because I can't keep a train of thought; I can't keep focused on listening, etc...I really had no idea...then I went to a conference with many workshops and one was on ADD/ADHD so I was curious and went...They said there are 6 forms of ADD and I when I read the symptoms for overfocused ADD, it sounded so much like me, but still in denial, kind of like my codependency issue...Well, for both things, once you learn about them, then realizations pop up in your head; for example today I found out how codependent I am in my home...same thing with ADD, except that things started making sense...I use to take personal days off of school if we ever had to go to an all day meeting; I couldn't handle it...did it for years...Now, I brings stuff to do that keeps me focused, writing pads, etc...I halfway listen, draw, doodle, write poems, make lists, etc. I even have a hard time watching a movie at home; do better at the movies because I really can't leave. Dang, I am realizing this as I am writing it...I daydream a lot, too much...Okay, that is enough, starting to get depressed about it...I never took medicine, because I managed by staying extremely organized, etc...I would like to try it now and see if it would make a difference, but would be too embarrassed to ask at my age, plus I don't want to pay for it...

I have spent so much money this week, and now my 21 yr.old twin locked her keys in the trunk and we have to pay for pop-a-lock because she is broke. Can't wait for these kids to support themselves...

November 5, 2006
3:22 pm
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armyleo
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Yes, my husband use to say that I was the one with the problem not my son that I was ADD, lazy, dumb and stupid.

Every once in a while when I get to a bookstore, I'll skim through books on ADD, some traits I see and others I don't. I don't know...

But what you said about losing your train of thought and interrupting, I do that. I do that so I don't forget, then if I try to remember, I can't concentrate and listen to what is being said.

November 5, 2006
3:24 pm
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ggfred4
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army, you won't have all the symptoms,,they just include all symptoms,,just see if you have a lot...I think need, is the expert...maybe we will start an ADD thread here and can learn, okay???

November 5, 2006
3:47 pm
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needtoheal
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hey girls...

ARmy-- I did self-diagnose myself.. Ironically it was when I was separated from my ex-husband (still in limbo at the time) and It was because I could not control my impulsivity with my interactions with POND SCUM when we were working together.. SO IT WAS POND SCUM WHO HELPED...

Let me tell you one thing.. and other ADDers feel the same way... Once I started medication, I called the doctor about a half an hour (not knowing that it takes 1/2 hour to take effect) and I thanked him.. It was like coming out of a fog... and that is what it is like...
I am no longer ashamed...

GG-- AND ARMY-- I know that medication can be expensive but if it helps then it is worth the try.. Believe me, that is why I am so involved with making sure that my son does not suffer like I did..
As we know, have to have lots of patience...

thanks for asking

November 5, 2006
3:53 pm
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needtoheal
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POND SCUM ---
had some positice impact:

1- just by my interaction with him I was able to get a diagnosis of ADD .. and I was not crazy like the ex--husband thought

2-made me realize more discovery about myself and realized that through his negative behavior, I deserve much more in my life... even if it does mean that I am without another relationship...

November 5, 2006
3:56 pm
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needtoheal
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Before I forget GG-- the idea is excellent about us getting together and working on the Courage to HEal workbook... I'm in ...when we are all able to get together......

November 5, 2006
4:01 pm
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needtoheal
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GG-- ARMY--

Interrupting is also a HALLMARK symptom of ADD//

sometimes we think too much ahead and not pay attention to what is being said because we automatically think that we are going to forget so we interrupt while we have the thought in our head...

there is no stop and pause...

IMPULSIVITY

That is a really BIG issue with me right now in dealing with POND SCUM..

takes a lot of patience, acceptance, and behavior modification.....

I have to remind myself whenever I have a trigger to think before reacting... and sometimes I have to say this out loud to myself : stop, think...

So when POND SCUm used to tell me that it was my fault that I made him so angry I disagreed.. It was not my fault that he could not control his own behavior.. that was unacceptable to me... That was someone that denied his responsibility for his own actions and choices.....

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