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Afghan sisters...HOLDING TIGHT TODAY
November 12, 2006
8:20 pm
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lovinglife
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ok girls I only have a few minutes- I started to write something up early and started rambling(I'll post it) but now the ex is here and need to shut the screen down....

OH and the ex ex bf just tried to play his mind games with me that he always plays and I just chewed his ass : ) now that is growth I tell ya {but he scares me : ( though he is states away from me} ...I am so sick and tired of flipping men f*cking with me- and you know why the ex ex bf does this to me??? and the exH too?... Because their both insecure m/f's. I AM SO TIRED OF IT, and the only way I am going to get it to stop is to get these low lifes out of my life and conitune right on growing. And when I stand up for myself they hate it- hate it. BUT I'm growing and moving on here WITH all of my sis's!!!

Anyhow ex ex hang up on me and is now trying to call me back- like I am going to answer it?? NOT

November 12, 2006
8:23 pm
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needtoheal
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the boys restaurant is called SLOPPY JOE's... did i ever tell you that we have mailboxes? We each have an envelope posted outside our bedrooms.. the boys just put the menu in my mailbox...
--deluxe king hamburger $5
--junior size hamburger $2
--chocolate stick--only 5cents
--garden salad supreme with extra cheese 99cents

November 12, 2006
8:23 pm
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cyndra820
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GG~ Okay, I'll let you off the hook if LL does. Since she's busy on the phone with XBF I'll tell you all an amusing story.

You know that FIB lives in Florida, but what you don't know is that his parents bought him a house. They pay the mortgage and all the utilities. Now if that didn't give me a clue (red flag?) this point should have: He hasn't had a job since I've known him. He's done a few things, but nothing that provides a steady income. That should have been my wakeup call. My threapist said how about one with a job the next time.

So, I have chosen men who need me to take care of them. Not a good thing because eventually I resent having to take care of them, but that's why I picked them. Now that I see MY pattern I can chose to break it.

November 12, 2006
8:24 pm
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lovinglife
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(((GG))) ok I got one coming for ya hon...what I wrote I'm feeling better about the whole thing now after talking to ex ex...think I hate men at the moment...

I will check back in with ya girls hopefully before I head out tonight or I'll be here first thing in the morning (providing I don't have to stay over).

GG, Need, Cyndra have a great night. And if Michy pops in give her a big huge from me : )

Love you girls....LL

November 12, 2006
8:25 pm
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cyndra820
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Need~ I think that's so cute!! I think they must know the value of money the way the priced their menu.

Budding restauranteurs?

November 12, 2006
8:27 pm
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needtoheal
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They have a credit card also.. and a TAB...

November 12, 2006
8:28 pm
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ggfred4
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thanks cyn, needed to close my closet before things got worse...

what am i going to do with my 3 sisters with the asshole guys in their lives; I know what I want to do, but it is not proper...

November 12, 2006
8:30 pm
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needtoheal
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I never know what is going to happen when they come home ... either army invasion (matt said one day that germany was invading poland.. from my bedroom to their room..
or the army fortress
to the sloppy joe restaurant..

YOU GUYS WILL GET A LAUGH AT THIS..

MATT HAS A METAL DETECTOR

AND HE SCANNED JAKE TO GET INTO THE

RESTAURANT...

AND THERE IS A COVER CHARGE... NEED

A TICKET.. we have raffle tickets and use a hole puncher...

HAVE TO SAY THAT POND SCUM ALWAYS DID SAY THEY WERE THE BEST KIDS IN THE WORLD.. AND HE WAS NOT EVEN AROUND THEM MUCH....

November 12, 2006
8:30 pm
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ggfred4
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need, as a teacher, your children are playing exactly like they should in order to encourage thinking, interaction, and creativity...such a great mom!

Bye LL, love you big sis...

November 12, 2006
8:33 pm
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needtoheal
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BYE LL...

they are too funny... the cover charge is $20.00

November 12, 2006
8:35 pm
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needtoheal
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GG--

I love you

and I love all my sisters

November 12, 2006
8:38 pm
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needtoheal
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GG--

did you say that there are sunday meetings?

I wonder if there are any later meetings..

I still have to check it out after the boys go to bed..
which will be soon
hate to break up their fun but it is school tomorrow

this month is going by so fast

they have a full week this week
and then have half days the week of thanksgiving for parent/teacher conferences

November 12, 2006
8:43 pm
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ggfred4
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sometimes the meetings last long and people pop in and out...

November 12, 2006
8:44 pm
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cyndra820
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GG~ I'm glad you are going to close the closet. I know it's not the easiest thing to do, but maybe if you say the mantra you will believe what I do about you. And one day I may take my own advice.

Need~ You are a great mother!! The fact that they are so creative is wonderful. I think I'd love to spend a day watching happy kids be creative and playful and having a mom who happily participates in all of it.

LL~ Good night big sis. I'm about to head in for the night to. I still have laundry to fold. There is also a Bears game on. I get to watch bothy my teams play in one day!! Yahoo!!

Good night. Love you all and hugs all around.

(((GG)))
(((Need)))
(((LL)))
(((Mich)))
(((Angel))) wherever you are

November 12, 2006
8:46 pm
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lovinglife
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{Starting writing this earlier...}

aaah, the poor lil’ shit has had to entertain herself : ( in here. And from the looks of it she is going a good at it : )

So happy to hear you and hubby are home safe and sound. Sorry to hear about the pain my lil sis is in….Looks like I will need to keep an eye on you however…as you’re liking those margarita’s way too much!!

I’ve been trying to keep up with the reading throughout the weekend (in between sleeping, working and having the ex hang close by every time I’m on the computer- last week he seen me writing something to ‘Mich’ in a word document and *asked* who that is (thinking I’m talking to a guy)…I just shooed him away to the store so I’ll belt something out quickly…

GG~ (think I will start to call you Fred if the exH gets nosey again-that'll teach him!)…. I laughed about your story on how you were able to get access to the internet and I did the same hair thing one time long ago-went from med-dark blonde with highlights to a brown- hated it. Now when are the exact dates that you will be going in for surgery????

And oh, hey thanks for the prayers think it’s working… but maybe we should just make sure we got the right cute guy here….it’s just “cute guy” not “cute guys married cute friend”!! Not quite sure what’s happening there –hopefully it’s just my overactive thinking mind (and I really shouldn’t be giving it any thought whatsoever in here and I’m trying not to but for sake of letting you all know and also to quit with any thoughts going on in my head)… but Saturday night heading into work I starting getting really, really nervous….BECAUSE cute guys married cute friend is acting a little too much out of character for comfort for me…actually really out of character regarding me. (Remember my story of working with him for the 1st time a few weeks back???)

Anyhow….Thursday night when I was walking to my unit- there was a weird exchange of waves & hi’s between him & I THEN he came on my unit before he left- again a weird exchange of something said….So Friday night I didn’t look towards his unit as I walked to mine {didn’t need no more waves & hi’s going on here }…so then as I was doing my initial round check and was wwaaaayy down the hall on my unit, I turned around and cute guy’s married cute friend was standing midway in the hall (not on my unit) that leads to the front door- he was leaving work so his back should have been facing me- but hell no- did another weird exchanges of waves.. F*ck!! Anyway he called in last night and will be on vacation for the next week so in the meantime, GG get the right guy cute going in that prayer for me!! Oh and to make matters worse, last night the Charge Nurse asked me… “There is nothing going on between you & “cute guys married cute friend” that I need to be worried about is there???” My face must have turned red…I asked why she’d ask that, she said… “Because I have good intuition on those things…” Then I also got a little lecture that ‘cute guys married cute friend’ is in fact married ….I was like DUH! I don’t, never have, god forbid never would have anything to do with a man that is married!! Swear on Sisters honor (have used that before in here)

….Ok I’ve talked more about this more then I should even be…but I think what might be going on is my codependency stuff within me is kicking into full gear regarding him-(which also includes embarrassingly, an attraction)… it’s a long story and though he hasn’t out right said it, I know that he is hurting bad , I feel it, can read it in his face and would love to talk to him about it but I have to stay the flip away from him, far away. The way I’m looking at it and really what the truth is here….he is going through a major life change, he’s hurting and what do we all do when we feel like we’ve hit a real low in our life- reach out for something to fill the void perhaps…all I can say is, f*ck. I want nothing to do with it. CAN’T have anything to do with it. AND above all else I am learning loads about myself- the good thing coming out of this. And just to say - he really is a nice, fun loving guy-is excellent at what he does and really think that whatever un- easiness that I am feeling right now wouldn't even be there if it weren't not for the crap he is going through. He's at a real low right now.

GG, girls, sisters here let’s just hope LL just has an overactive wishful thinking mind thing going on here and that she drops it, NOW…..AND that the real cute guy and I run into each other SOON!! Didn’t see him this weekend, not even the trying to run him off the road I’ve done the last few Sunday mornings : ) OH and if cute guy and I finally are able to talk or whatever- please Higher Power I promise I won't ask for anything else for awhile then LL can sprinkle a little love & joy on the cute guy's married cute friend - in a healthy way, LL's normal way of caring about others.

Got to go. Talk to you all later. AND ex ex actually I think he is more like ex, ex, ex keeps trying to call here - *sswipe!

November 12, 2006
8:48 pm
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lovinglife
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a real quick one here...just as I was posting that last one...exH came up to me and put his hand on my shoulder and I flipped it or whatever away...now I have told him zillions of times not to touch me, not to get in my space...anyhow....I just called called a fucking bitch- now how does that work?!

November 12, 2006
8:52 pm
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ggfred4
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okay, LL, I will be very specific on my prayers...I think I just said cute guy at work,,,I will now say cute UNMARRIED guy at work!!!

Surgery:Nov. 30th..going Nov. 29th..don't want to talk about that either...
Hair: UGLY...dread the fake comments tomorrow...

Mich, do you know how bad I am missing you girl?????????

Thanks cyn, need, and LL, for your kind words...I will go back and reread them, so I can try to believe them...Love you sisters...

November 12, 2006
8:59 pm
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lovinglife
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Got to believe hon. It takes some time to get those old tapes to quit playing, but it will happen.

And perhaps what happend with your hair is that you now need to make an appt with a professional stylist and spend a few bucks on YOU and really pamper yourself- like you deserve and need. You're going to need something new for the hospital stay- something to make you feel sexy, alive- ya know what I mean. Us women need to do those things for ourselves. The worse feeling is but the best feeling is feeling alive!!

Got to go. ANd ex ex ex is still trying to call! LOL

November 12, 2006
9:00 pm
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ggfred4
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need, u here?

November 12, 2006
9:00 pm
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needtoheal
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GG--
this is from the book : Letting GO: Daily Meditations for Co-dependents
by MElody Beattie

Allowing ourselves to be Needy

we can accept ourselves as people who
have needs-- the need for comfort, love, understanding, friendship, healthy touch. we need positive reinforcement, someone to listen to us, someone to give to us. we are not weak for needing these things. these needs make us human and healthy. getting our needs met-- believing we deserve to have them met-makes us happy.
there are times, too, when in addition to our regular needs, we become particularly needy. at these times, we need more than we have to give out. this is okay too.
we can accept and incorporate our needs, and our needy side, into the whole of us. we can take responsibility for our needs. that doesn't make us weak or deificient. it doesn't mean we are not properly recovering, nor does it mean we're being dependent in an unhealthy way. it makes our needs, and our needy side, manageable. our needs stop controlling us, and we gain control.
and, our needs begin to get met.

Today, I will accept my needs and my needy side. I believe I deserve to get my needs met, and I will allow that to happen..

love,
need

November 12, 2006
9:01 pm
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ggfred4
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wow, gonna print that...why don't u try popping in a meeting?

November 12, 2006
9:04 pm
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needtoheal
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have to get the boys to bed and then i will be right back.. sounds like a good idea.. i am going to keep going through this book.. and i am so glad that i could share it with you GG.. i will be right back< OK.. glad you liked it.. i love you

November 12, 2006
9:05 pm
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lovinglife
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and ex x's 3 is still calling!! He done f*cked up with me - BIG TIME. Thank goodness for calling ID ..

alright I am done here. Gotta start getting ready for work in a bit.

Love you all!!! Goodnight.

November 12, 2006
9:08 pm
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needtoheal
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GOodnight LL..

wanted to share the positive side of my life with you all --

GG- i promise i will be back.. no later than 9:20 EST

November 12, 2006
9:12 pm
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ggfred4
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I love you LL,,,confession...had an appt. on the 28th for the hair, etc...but just did that today...punished myself...think I would have rather cut myself...no one sees that...

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