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Afghan sisters...HOLDING TIGHT TODAY
November 10, 2006
8:19 am
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ScaredinMichigan
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GG, I am sure you are already gone, but I am still here holding you and thinking of you.

November 10, 2006
8:44 am
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ggfred4
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heading out, checked for one last touch of faith, hope, and security...love you...best wishes on your appt...GG

November 10, 2006
9:03 am
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lovinglife
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GG~ Will be holding you close today... ((((GG))))

November 10, 2006
9:08 am
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ScaredinMichigan
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LL, don't you have an appointment today as well? I love you sweet sister. I just had to make a new thread for today...I couldn't help it...

November 10, 2006
9:12 am
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lovinglife
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are u up?

November 10, 2006
9:15 am
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lovinglife
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My appt is at 9:45- have about an hour before I have to leave. Thought I'd do a check in (also wanted to leave SBD a song, message, cheer or something before I spaced it out again he's going on his 3rd date this weekend with his new friend- yea for SBD.

How are you doing? How did the brows and color turn out??? Feel a little sexier? : ) I love going to get my hair done....

November 10, 2006
9:16 am
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lovinglife
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Mich you always came up with the greatest thread title's.

November 10, 2006
9:22 am
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lovinglife
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think I am going to lay down for a bit- hope to catch you before you head out today.....will be thinking of you...we just got to get every one healthy here!!

Love ya

November 10, 2006
9:30 am
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cyndra820
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Good Morning Everyone,

I'm sorry I missed GG before she left. I'll be praying and keeping her close.

Mich~ How did the color and brows turn out? Are you turning heads, yet again?

LL~ Let us know how your appointment goes.

Need~ How are you today?

Friend~ How are you feeling?

(((Army)))~ Always keeping you in my thoughts, love.

Cyndra

November 10, 2006
9:35 am
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ScaredinMichigan
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Good luck at your appointment today LL. I will be there holding your hand...tell your doc that, they will be SURE to give you meds...LOL

I am ok. Not by any stretch good, but could be much worse. I can't cry anymore after last night, or at least I don't think so. I printed out my letters from you guys this morning...I have read and read them. It still breaks my heart to even think that there is a REMOTE possibility that I could have to leave you guys. I am really hoping that Jim says otherwise. But my hopes are not set high enough to destroy me. Worse than I already am. As I read your guys letters, I kept saying to myself...I wish I could see in myself what they all see in me. I love you guys..I really do. You are all the best sisters that anyone could ever ask for.

Thanks for being you LL. I love you peaches..

Love,

Mandy

November 10, 2006
10:48 am
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ScaredinMichigan
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Cyn, my hair and stuff looks ok. I really like the color. The cut isn't too bad..A little more of my eyebrow being gone would have been good...BUT, overall I am happy. I let her cut my hair short again. My hair has been fairly short for the last two years...it is now shorter than it has ever been. But, it's alright...I wanted to grow it long again, as I had 14 inches cut off two years ago. But I can't stand the way it looks growing out. And I had to get it colored, because i have more gray hair than probably any woman you have ever seen in your life. When my hair is as dark as it is, that makes it pretty obvious....Oh well, it is all good.

Anyways, hope you are having a good day..

Love you,

Little Shit

November 10, 2006
11:43 am
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needtoheal
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MICH-- glad that you like your hair.. and you took time for yourself yesterday.. I know that you are feeling not so good about going to see JIm but I am so proud of you.. because you are doing the right thing for yourself and taking a step forward....
I am thinking about you today as always and holding onto GG as well...

Cyndra-- I am feeling ok this mornning.. I did not realize how late it got last night. thanks for listening. It meant a lot to me.. I went out shopping this morning and let Jake pick out his birthday present. He got a used gameboy advance to replace the one that was lost for quite some time.. He also got a new game to go with it.. and later I am going to give him the Cars movie..
Matthew was so happy this morning, First thing I heard from his mouth was happy birthday to his brother and that he loves him...
Right now they went with my parents to go get their picture taken with my niece and nephew. I wanted to go but I have some things to do. Then we are meeting back at my parent's house for pizza and birthday cake before leaving for their dad's house.

I will save a piece of birthday cake for all of my sisters..

LL-- thanks for the encouragement .. I will be okay.. I would not want Cyndra to have to flip me... Bad enough that I have had to get several bonks in the past two nights...

GG-- I am thinking of you sweetheart..

November 10, 2006
11:43 am
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needtoheal
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MICH-- glad that you like your hair.. and you took time for yourself yesterday.. I know that you are feeling not so good about going to see JIm but I am so proud of you.. because you are doing the right thing for yourself and taking a step forward....
I am thinking about you today as always and holding onto GG as well...

Cyndra-- I am feeling ok this mornning.. I did not realize how late it got last night. thanks for listening. It meant a lot to me.. I went out shopping this morning and let Jake pick out his birthday present. He got a used gameboy advance to replace the one that was lost for quite some time.. He also got a new game to go with it.. and later I am going to give him the Cars movie..
Matthew was so happy this morning, First thing I heard from his mouth was happy birthday to his brother and that he loves him...
Right now they went with my parents to go get their picture taken with my niece and nephew. I wanted to go but I have some things to do. Then we are meeting back at my parent's house for pizza and birthday cake before leaving for their dad's house.

I will save a piece of birthday cake for all of my sisters..

LL-- thanks for the encouragement .. I will be okay.. I would not want Cyndra to have to flip me... Bad enough that I have had to get several bonks in the past two nights...

GG-- I am thinking of you sweetheart..

November 10, 2006
12:22 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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Leaving, scared to death hold me close and pray love you all

November 10, 2006
12:23 pm
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lovinglife
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back from the docs...got my script renewed for the next six months....went better then expected though I did let the tears start once but choked them back..he asked "So tell me what's going on..." I said... "Do we have to go there...?" He said, "Well, yes..." gave him a brief whatever to let him know that the med is helping my mood... then he asked how many packs I've been smoking......that's when my tears started... "More than I ever have...2-3 packs a day, sometimes I have opened up my fourth pack..."

Glad that is over...said he is going to call around my birthday (march-my 40th) as I told him that my goal has always been to be smokefree by 40... His last words with a gentle pat on the back were "Don't ever give up hope..." He is a Christian man (hoping he prays for me)...he is also my sons doc...asked my about the boys and was trying to fish about the exH (who went into to see him a few months back and I am sure exH told doc that we were together as a couple). I used to work at the clinic...small town but big clinic/hospital. While waiting for the med had coffee with a friend (head of security there)...says he can't believe that exH is still around...

So for the moment though I'm real tired-, i feel somewhat hopeful. When I left the clinic today {bought some candles & lotion in the pharmacy : ) } I felt good, I felt like I just may be back there in the Spring...annual is in April- smokefree and exH out of here...THEN I will briefly tell doc what really has gone on...with a smile on my face, maybe even back going to the gym... And no more being weepy for me!

Mich don't know if you are still home and if you will get this before you leave...but I hope that after today... you too will feel just a bit more hopeful....we can never give up girls. I won't until I get it all right.

November 10, 2006
12:26 pm
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lovinglife
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Mich ...don't be scared. I will be holding you, lifting you up. I want to see you get the help that you need. Will be praying that answers/direction come that will help you to become that person inside of you dying to live : )

November 10, 2006
12:42 pm
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lovinglife
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Need I hope your day is going better for you. ((((Need))))

And trying to find where I said that Cyndra would have to flip ya!! Must have been one of those late night, brain shut down moments...

November 10, 2006
2:08 pm
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cyndra820
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Mich,

I'm sorry I missed posting BEFORE you left. I am holding you very close. I am using the open line to God that the xso gave me.

I love you and am NEVER letting you go.

LL~ Have you ever considered accupuncture? My mother did it and she did stop smoking for nearly a year. She did use the Zyban so don't give that up. Look into it. It just may help.

I can't talk. When FIB and I broke up I started again. I smoked for quite a while when I lived in Europe. Nothing like the caffein and nicotine diet to keep you thin!!! Just not sane!!

Need~ Sweetie, I didn't mind at all. I felt I may have been letting you down a bit because I was so tired. I'm surprised I made sense at all!!! I went back and read some of my posts and was just stunned at how coherent I was!! I slept for nine hours today. Thank goodness for holidays!!! Even one's as under celebrated as Veterans Day.

Okay, I've papmered myself today. Did a deep conditioning of the hair, got the toes done, now I'm about to have a leisurely lunch. I watched Mission Impossible III too.

I am holding all my sisters close. I love all of you.

Cyn

November 10, 2006
6:35 pm
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lovinglife
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Cyndra- are you off work today? That's right it's veterans day...got a funny, sort of, about that one...didn't realize we got paid yesterday because of the holiday...found that out when I went into work last night by a co-worker... I said, and darn, here I was digging around looking for change to get another pack of smokes!

doc brought up acupuncture & hypnosis of which both of I’ve thought of in the past- thank you for the extra reminder. Gonna have to look in to it. I used to smoke about a pack a day, sometimes a little less, sometimes a little more-did it for years-and functioned just fine....the smoking pick up this year with the whole heartbreak thing... but it was the heartbreak thing that ultimately threw me on this beautiful freakin awesome journey with you all : ) perhaps my smoking is connected to some of my worse before it gets better.

Ok here comes a rambling : )

Now regarding quitting smoking, the beginning of last year I woke up one day and decided it was time to quit really thought I’d never smoke again…weeelllll, I gained 22 pounds in 5 weeks (and that wasn’t the worst of it). First those 22 pds came on even with picking up my *used to be* work-out routine of at least 3 days a week to 5-6-7 days a wk, including belting out a walk everyday. A few things started happening to me after I quit: I started craving sweet carbs (normally not much of a sweet eater), gosh I’d be on the thread mill while popping handfuls of Skittles in my mouth : ) and at work, the donuts & sweets in the breakroom I’d normally have no interest in became my new best friends. Basically I was an out of control carb craving woman!! I also started retaining water (found out that nicotine acts as a diuretic), … Now I have to say at the time the weight gain didn’t bother me as I knew that it would be temporary….and evenutally would get a handle on the sweets...BUT the other thing that happened during those five weeks--- was my *not smoking* really shut me down regarding my thinking... I couldn’t do my school work, couldn’t write a paper for the life of me. And towards the end of the 5 weeks...I started to feel really, really depressed (found out the nicotine also acts as a stimulant AND as a mild anti-depressant)….so with my professors only being able to do so much regarding due dates….I thought I know if I just smoke, I’ll be able to get back to writing…. so that is what I did- and all worked out fine regarding finishing the semester, and just now lost the last of the 22 pds I gained, but sadly now working on the 10 I gained after I started back up the smoking!! And not sure if this was related... but within 4 months of my whole stop/start smoking fiasco of last year- I started to sink into the deepest, darkest depression I have yet experienced…{even cancelled my beloved gym membership and STILL not back to my at least 2-3 days and I LOVED the gym-I LOVED working out}. I just completely shut myself off from the world for about 6-7 months (bought a treadmill for home-that is pretty much collecting dust today). Also it was around that time (last year) exh’s drinking picked up big time and my oldest son who had just got back from oversea’s (soldier) was going through a mild depression and working with his Dad was making it worse. Moral of my story/rambling here, if the system is working just fine don’t fricken mess with it : ) and that also reminds me of my system before ex came back into my life.

I want to get back to the woman I was 3 years ago - only completely smoke free : ) and totally exH free!! I’ll get there….still have that hope within me, still have a few dreams to attain here...today was another day that just added to the hope.

November 10, 2006
6:52 pm
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cyndra820
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LL~ Okay, I completely understand what you are talking about. Just got in with dinner and my mummy. I'm going to eat with her and I'll pop in and comment. Probably NOT before you got to work, but it will be here tomorrow.

Need~ How are you doing today? What funny things has Mandy done?

November 10, 2006
7:48 pm
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lovinglife
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Right now I’m really in the mood to go out and do some Karoke : ) ... but the ex just pulled up : ( now I'm in the mood for target practice : )

Need hope you have a good night and get through the weekend feeling strong, stronger. Hon, it will lift, his hold on you will lift....keep keepin' on...I stumbled, and stumbled (not fun) but with each stumbling I did get stronger : ) if that is any consolation. And in it all it's helping me become the person I'm striving for.

And Cyndra- since two of the triplets are gone : ( as you always have....take good care of your lil sis tonight.

You both have a great night. LL

November 10, 2006
7:53 pm
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Jenni
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Ok, so what's the latest with Mich? Is she going?

November 10, 2006
8:02 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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NOt yet...Not that it is ruled out on a whole..but, not right away. If i ever scare him like I did Tuesday again, he will report it, so I have to go in. I was there for four hours today. He had me crying like a baby. We were talking about EVERYTHING. Including he read and has a copy of all of the letters that you guys wrote to me....and I told him that you were holding me tight at 1 today. And gg. I told him all you non-mushy ones, we turned you around and set you straight...I love you guys. It has been a VERY rough day...Thank you all for everything..

November 10, 2006
8:03 pm
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cyndra820
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Hi Everyone,

Jenni~ We are all waiting for Mich to give us an update.

LL~ I'll be here if Need needs me. I do try to be a good sister.

Need~ Where are you, love? What time do you have to be at work tonight? Or are you there now?

November 10, 2006
8:06 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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Hello, do I have any sisters around?

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