Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
Advice please, how do I confront a possible alcoholic?
June 1, 2005
7:36 pm
Avatar
Juanita
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 27
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

My daughter's best friend lives down the street from us. They are 7 & 8 yrs old. My daughter has lots of friends that we invite over, but rarely is she invited out. When she gets an invite out, it means so much to her. She really is a good girl.

Well, anyway, the one parent who consistently invites our daughter over, or out swimming, or whatever, ALWAYS smells like beer. He seems ok. Can track a conversation, eyes are not blood shot, but I do know he tells how he likes to tie one on every now & again. Stories of when he goes camping, staying up till 2 or 3 am drinking with his buddies. So, now when I see him, and he's offering to drive my daughter along with his somewhere, I am perplexed as to what to do.

I don't want to jeopardize the girls friendship, I even more so don't want to jeopardize my daughter.

Is the smelling of beer on someone's breathe everytime you see them enough reason to think they could be alcoholic?

How should I handle this?

I mean, he's married with 2 young children. His wife never seems to drink. We've been acquaintances for yrs via our daughters... His wife obviously lets him drive their children around.

Am I overreacting? Any advice?

June 1, 2005
10:40 pm
Avatar
Sol
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Dear Juanita: I don't know if it up to you to full on confront him but it is your duty to not let your daughter be driven around by someone who smells like alcohol. You could test the waters with a joke if you have that kind of relationship, if not the you drive your daughter around with her friend. Your daughter might be upset but when she is older will appreciate you did not let her drive around with so and so's drunk, poor judgement daddy. Her safety is your primary responsability.

Hope this is helpful, SOL

June 2, 2005
12:54 am
Avatar
ACryForHelp
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I am sorry to hear your situation. No matter what you do your child will say that your interfearing, being "uncool", or SOMETHING but that would happen weather her friend's father is drinking or you don't get her that pair of Hello Kitty socks... That's what kids do! (I remember it CLEARLY! LOL!)

I know it may sound harsh but don't worry about what happens with the friendship... YOU need to be sure that the father doesn't drive them around impaired!

To put it REALLY blunt:
Your child can't get pissed off at you if everyone dies in a flaiming car crash!

If the friend's father has been drinking a lot for a long time then it is REALLY EASY for him to act stone cold sober but he is just as drunk! Only the smell gives him away.

My mother almost killed my best friend and I when I think I was 11. We were going on an over-nighter with our church but she was wasted and started to DRIVE THE WRONG WAY! She didn't LOOK screwed up but she was. I had to talk to the other parents to get someone to drive her home...I was more embarised than practically ANY OTHER TIME IN MY LIFE!

I don't know the web address but contact AA, Alca-non, or any drug/booze abuse program and get some Profeshional advice on how to talk to him/his wife. Or you can even just call your local hospital.

And if you are worried about YOUR kid just think about the HORRIBLE environment that the other child is living in. Who KNOWS what sorts of neglect or emotional/mental trauma she is suffering living with someone like THAT.

Even if you have to put your foot down and never let your kid play at the other house let the other child come over to your house so she can get some releaf from the pressure of her own family.

I know from personal experience that just being able to spend a few hours a week at a friend's house and away from my own saved my sanity!

Good luck!

June 2, 2005
8:34 am
Avatar
Juanita
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 27
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thanks,

I just have never seen him drink, but he always smells like beer. Lunchtime, dinnertime, whatever. He frequently will stop by the house to invite my daughter to join him & his two @ the local playground or swimming pool, and when your child is jumping up & down in the background, it is hard to say "no" (for whatever reason, eating supper, has homework, etc), and to say "we'll meet you there", well, he just says "I'll wait". I have asked him for no more 'Pearl Harbor' visits & to call in advance for this reason.

I have to think and figure out a way to be as nice as possible to say we'll always be responsible to drive her (our daughter) to wherever they are going.

I just was wondering if I was jumping to the wrong conclusion about thinking he may be alcoholic (I rarely drink).

Thanks.

June 2, 2005
9:55 am
Avatar
Deena
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

seems like he's a bit off. It's your job to protect your daughter. If that meant my daughter really had no friends then oh well. I would not let her drive around with him. Where's the wife? RED FLAG? why doesn't she do these things? Stop by or drive them to swimming? sounds weird. I just don't trust that many people with my kids especially with all the pedafile crap that goes on. NOWAY.

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
28
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 111049
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38581
Posts: 714358
Newest Members:
Goldyy, nickvoz, jron1945bas, juliaopty, uoi, jamescortes
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information