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advice for wife
March 15, 2006
1:57 pm
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pugs01
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any words of advice for a wife of a codependant husband. I have been seperated from my husband for 4 months now. we have seperated many times in the past due to his codependant controlling behaviors, unfounded name calling, and anger outbursts at myself and my son. He has gone for therapy befor in the past and things allways get better (for a while) and then our relationship begins to deterioate again. He has never been diagnosed before and this time attempted suicide about 2 months ago. I love the good times we have had but the memories of the bad are in my mind. I dont want another repeat of the past. He is currently on medication for his depression, and remains in therapy. My son has noticed a big difference in him. he has never been on medication before.we have been married 15 years and he has givin me our son (the most wonderful thing in my life). we have had many WONDERFUL

March 15, 2006
2:01 pm
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pugs01
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experiences in life and I do have feelings for him. he is constantly working on change and trying to make hisself better for him, his son and me, (he has told me this) and I have seen some changes but I also see glimmers of the old him also which puts me right back to square one. should I give him another chance or is it time to move on. If he really comes to terms with codependancy and heals will what will become of our marriage. I dont want to make a rash descision nor do i want a repeat performance. any advice would help.

March 15, 2006
2:12 pm
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nappy
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My advice for you is that continue to be separated from your husband for a while. Try and get yourself together first. You can't fix him nor change him. Maybe he is trying to change but it will take some time. While he is trying to fix himself, then that mean to try and fix yourself. You have to understand also that when a person knows that they no longer have that other person in there life for what ever reason, they will change for that moment. Then when everything is alright, then they goes back to there old self. Going back to square one does not make you go forward in life. Life is not going backward but forward. I can't tell you to leave him or to stay, that is up to you but I understand how you feel when you want everything to be alright.
To let go is not to be protective. It's to permit another to face reality. We all want that fastasy life but when we have to face reality it is hard but it is not.

March 15, 2006
2:23 pm
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pugs01
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thanks nappy, but if the medication is truly working and he does truly change will I have missed out on a happy marriage after all. I do love him, just feeling remote. he's been through alot lately and I know he truly loves me. currently I'm taking time for myself and taking care of the important thing, myself, my son and my home. I go out and enjoy myself I think I at least deserve that. I have supported him through every descision he has made and even when no-one else would.

March 17, 2006
2:47 am
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tomgirl
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September 24, 2010
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Has you'r husband been tested for being bypolar because some of thoes symptoms sound like a friend of mine.They just found out because of depression an out bursts and suicide atempts.Emotional abuse is hard to take I've been dealing with that for 2 years now were going to counceling .But still have along way to go... God bless take care

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