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addicts wife....update,well not really...help!!!
February 23, 2005
2:31 pm
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mosher1yr
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so i couldnt handle it anymore, it has been almost a week since i had talked to her and that wasnt really a very nice talk either. Actually its almost been a month since we have had a nice joking flirting talk. I really havent got to talk to her. All i want to do id just sit down with her and just talk explain all and everything, how am i supposed to show her i have changed if she doesnt want to see me or talk to me at all. I finally called her last night when i got home for work at like 11, i was so nervous...just like old times, and she picked up(probably becuse she was alseep and didnt even notice i was calling, she picked up and i said hi, the first thing she said is "why are you calling" and i was honest and said "just wanted to see how you are doing" she really didnt want to talk to me we probably talked for at least 2 minutes, but it was so good to hear her voice, i texted her again and told her sorry for waking her and i just wanted to see how she was going and she said she was fine very happy.....is she lieing? i think she is? she cant be happy she has to miss he she loves me or did it go away? should i call her when i get home, i want so bad for her to give me another chance i would be so different smarter, honest i just wish she would give that to me...i need advice hurry!!!!!should i hurry or slow down i just dont know what to do i cant move on i still love her to much

February 23, 2005
4:10 pm
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addicts wife
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Dear Mosher....
Hey, well, you broke the ice, andmade a call... Tha' was the hardest part.
Maybe you should write everyting you are feeling, sory about, and happy about andall that youre tryingto accomplish for yourself in a letter to her... Pour your heart out, tell her everything youve shared here, how youre so sincerely sorry, How youve been working hard on your Issues for the past month, and all that, and that you thought she should know how much of a positive impact she has had in your life, and tahat you'd really appreciate a talk, in person If she can make the time to see you and hope it's not too late for the 2 of you, and SEND IT, in the mail, or leave it in the mailbox, so she can read it when she is ready, at her own pace, and re read it if she needs to, and let it all sink in. I wouldnt keep calling, i get (Or got ,when I was single& dating) FREAKED by guys who called too much, but then Again Ive had some doozies who called like stalkers 15 times a day, i couldnt pee in peace...LOL, try to take it slow, but dont wait too long to lay it all out on the table... that's why I sugested a letter, Use your PC to type it out if youre worried about spelling, andhandwritting...
Perhaps have a single flower sent ot her with a "can I see you/ card (or something like that. Like a dasiy, or a rose, A sincere friendship gesture will not only show you want her as a girlfrind, but that you care about her friendship foremost.
Good luck, I hope this helps.
I'll keep you in my thoughts today sending good vibes to you!!!!
Please lemmie know how it goes.
TAKe a deep breath, and keep moving forward!!!!!

February 24, 2005
11:51 am
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addicts wife
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Hunny, i just read your other threads...
I am so sorry that your encounter didnt go well, or that it ws sos painful for you... It sux, and It may take a long time, but you'll find yourwat thru this mess.... There are so many supportive people here, who care about you, and what you are going thru... keep posting...
Im going back to yourother threads now... hang in there!!!!!!

February 24, 2005
6:36 pm
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addicts wife
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Mosher1.... r U here????

February 25, 2005
12:41 am
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addicts wife
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Mosher how are you??????
Hope youre doin ok.

February 25, 2005
1:33 am
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sewunique
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Addsictswife,

I posted to you briefly in the thread about cutting, but I wanted to add more to you so it is best to put it into yur thread!

AW, you write and say things in such a colorful and fun way! Do you speak like you write? you are funny, even when sad, you try to find humour in things. Me too. I try, not always succeed.

What can I call you? It bothers me to wtite: addicts wife, as I am one of the same and it seems so sad. Should I call you : AW? or Awife? or what? I am still trying to get comfortable with it.

Sew

February 25, 2005
1:41 am
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addicts wife
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SEW!!!
You gave me weepy giggles!!1 (the good ones) i am touched.
Yup, talk like i type... some of my freinds say that they can "hear me ' in my emails, letters."
I dont know If I am allowed to put my real name here, So isuppose AW is okay... I kinda wanted ot change that name for a few on occassion, but I know it's 'not allowed'
Thank you so much... I confess that i got nervous at the first sentence when you said "you always write and say things...' i was like"oh, crap, Do ioffend?/ Do i swear too much, i know I swear alot, but did i breakaguidlineoh mygoodness,,,,OH, WOW, Who, me?? Hee hee.( I HAVE A LOT LESS TYPOS when i speak though...
well mostly,less
(??!!)
whatever.. I mgetting "slap happy goofy now..
but THANK You sooomuch!!
~AW(pronounced "awwwwww") LOLOL

February 25, 2005
2:42 am
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sewunique
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I like; AWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

So I will go with that, ok?

hope you get some sleep tonite....like me, it is 2:45 here, forgot it was so late, like the time passed whie I wasn't watching... lol

I should get to bed and find a dream to hang onto! Nite

Sew

February 25, 2005
5:04 am
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addicts wife
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HI sew...
I managed to sleep a couple hours, but woke up from a killer pain in my "bad" shoulder. I was dreamingthat i had hurt myself 9somehow) and jolted up with this stabbing, throbbing ache in my shoulder, collarbone area, elbow, andwrist area..
I have something called "frozen shoulder' that was suggested after much PT, andmeds to get surgery, but havent been able to , maybe i aggrivatd itsomehow yesterday..
It's 5:03 so the whether dudess just said,still snowing, adn the cat is confused as t owhy i am up.
I "took something" for pain, and hope to get a couple hours of sleep with out sleeping half the day away...
I feel the bags under my eyes inflating as i sit here, so I should crawl back to bed...
hope youre having sweet dreams!!
~~Awwwwwww

February 25, 2005
12:38 pm
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addicts wife
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Mosher, sew, everyone....
How's it going today??/
happy Friday!!!!
I apparently missed half of it, because of waking up in some intense pain in my whole left arm... at 4 am, and had a lot of trouble resting, andtalking my head out of where it goeswhen my body is rebelling.
my poor frustrating Horny kittie is walking around crying and howling at everything... opp, he just plopped down and sighed... he looks melancoly (spelling??) like he's longing for a girlie kitty....
man this is going to be a long week with him like this, isnt it???

February 25, 2005
1:47 pm
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kathygy
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mosher, be completely honest with her. I think a letter is a good way to go. Good luck!

February 25, 2005
2:08 pm
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mosher1yr
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But the problem is she told me to leave her alone. Should i still and go and send the letter what should i say, i dont want to say sorry because that just makes her mad and she doesnt like it when i say sorry because ive hurt her to much and said it to many times. I really dont know what to say im nervous scared, nervous because i dont know what to say and scared because she might get mad at me, shes already threatend to block my number and change her number stuff like that and i dint want to come across all phyco or anthing like that, but i do live her and want to be with her. how do i show her ive changed or am willing to changes

February 25, 2005
5:17 pm
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addicts wife
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Mosher,
I think if you pour your heart out, with out saying the word" sorry" the apology will be "between the lines" and felt.
yes, she may want to be left alone, that is her right. But, if you write it all out, and proof read it, and make yourself clear, and rewrite IF you need to, then you may not even need to send it, to get some sort of comfort for yourself. (Ive written many a letter that i NEVER sent, i burned a few outside at a camp, or put them i n ajournal.) andthere are a few that i did send, it was very therapeutic for me. If ididnt get a responce, iknew I had done my best, andwas at peace wit hthat.
When i was 19-ish, Ireceived a dozen long stemmed roses from a guy I had isolated myself from, with a long letter, and It meant a lot to me at the time.
I suggested the lettr more for your own sanity, but also becasue You can write it all out, and erase things you didnt get out sounding "just right" and lay it all out there. it shows growth, and sincerity.
Im not saying this is "theee answer" for you, but It may be very therapeutic for you, an give you a sence of releif to get it all out of your head, heart andmindso you can slow your thoughts down, get the rest you need, and face another day with some sence of clarity. Sleep deprevation can be AWFUL for your mentality, and nothelp when you are trying desperatly to cope.
If yo do send this letter, like i mentioned before, Just send it in the mail, and Dont call her to see if she got it, etc. she may need tome to let everythng sink in, and time to reflect, anddecide if she wants to respond .
I hope you find some peace, and releif from all the pain you are in.
Theres a "cliche' " that is true, so Im gunna use it now..."things have a way of working themselves out." You may not get what it is you thought you were "going for" but you will get what you need.
Take GOOD care of yourself , swetie.
You have freinds here.
Sorry i havent bee n too available today, Ive been sleeping off a baaaaad headache most of the day 🙁
But I am here for you.

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