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abusive husband
February 23, 2000
9:41 pm
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fem
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September 27, 2010
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My husband abuses me verbally and emotionally my children do need his support we run a business and he depends on me to take care of all the problems I don't have time for myself and have gained 40 pounds, alway tense and I am afraid that my daughter 7 years deserves a better. I need to know how to handle this problem until I leave and we have tried counseling he understands one day and the next day same old same old. Motivation is no longer there help me.

February 24, 2000
10:40 am
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kay
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September 24, 2010
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You say you need to handle it UNTIL you leave... what's keeping you from leaving NOW?

You sound like you handle the business and everything else without his help, so why are you keeping him around if all he does is abuse you?

Use your daughter as your motivation. It is your job to protect her even if you won't protect yourself. She deserves the BEST you can possibly give her and this doesn't seem to cut it.

How long have you tried the counseling? It won't work overnight, but if you have been trying for years you have to admit to yourself it may never work.

I know it is hard, and you feel you need him. You say you need his support, what kind of support does he offer and is it worth the turmoil?

February 25, 2000
5:24 pm
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Neelie
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September 30, 2010
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Fem.... been there. Kay's right.. you sound like a very strong women. His abuse isn't worth the business or anything else. He won't begin to change until you set the limit.. tell him next time you'll leave then do it. I wasted so many years in an abusive relationship. I didn't think I could go it alone.. I was wrong. I'm free and I'm happy. Join Me??

February 26, 2000
8:03 pm
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janes
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Why do your children need the support of an abusive father? To learn how to accept abuse and dish it out?
If nothing else you keep going to counseling and focus on YOU!!!
Gained 40 pounds? You've let him have your self worth.

STOP!!! if you are handling all the problems with the business...what is he doing?

A shelter is better than letting your slef and your children suffer.

I heard of a woman who even went on welgare and lived in a shelter til she could get on her feet...then she paind the system back.

The boundaries idea is a good one. But be onest with yourself...if he needs you so bad...why is he abusive?
Don't take it anymore!!!!
PLEASE!!!!

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