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ABUSED
February 3, 2001
3:48 pm
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DOES ANYONE KNOW OF ANY STATE THAT A BATTERED WOMAN COULD FLEE TO AND NOT BE LIABLE FOR KIDNAPPING HER CHILDREN. I AM MARRIED TO A VERY ABUSIVE MAN AND NEED TO GET AWAY ASAP. HE TELLS ME ALL THE TIME THAT HE WOULD FILE KIDNAPPING CHAARGES AGAINST ME. HE IS A VERY SMART AND HAS TRACKED ME DOWN BEFORE. PLEASE HELP ME

February 3, 2001
3:58 pm
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janes
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So what if he is smart...abuse is abuse. You don't need to change states just go to a shelter and file charges abainst him.

Go to the police and see about a restraining order. When he abuses you or the kids.....call the police.

The system is often flawed but you need to get away and stay away. If he is only abusing you ... that is still what you need to do. DO NOT STAY IF THERE IS ABUSE. You stand a better chance of keeping or getting the kids if the abuse is on file somewhere.

Check out Dr. Irene's verbal abuse site.

Learn all you can about the laws on the internet or at your local library. Is there a local legal service that can help you find out what to do.

Abusers rarely change. Your best bet is to get out somehow.

Even if he has tracked you down before you still need to "keep getting away."

If you are leaving the state for a visit how can he say you are kidnapping the kids? You can always say you were coming back and thought he knew what you were doing.

He is just threatening you. Keep track of the threats, abuse etc. find a lawyer and a counselor and start a paper trail that will stand up in court.

What kind of abuse is this? Do you have a way to support yourslef? Do you have family or friends that will help?

Get away and don't look back. Worry about the charges later...he's just talking through his hat and isn't as smart as you think he is....

February 4, 2001
12:39 pm
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Thank you for your suggestions. I have tried everything I could think of. If I am cought,I will be in grave danger. The police are no good to me. He has been arrested numerous times,but only for the cool down period (12 hours).And with me having no money,family or friends, where do I go? The beatings are so bad after he's been in jail that I just don't call any more. I will leave this man. I just don't want to put my children on the street in the process. I have found myself keeping change from the groceries. It's not very much, but it will get something.

February 5, 2001
9:08 am
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pg lova
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Quick,

It's not kidnapping if you flee with your children under those circumstances. Anytime you as a responsible parent (which he definitely is not) feel that your child and yourself are in danger, you have a right to seek refuge. Oh yeah, no matter how smart he is, you can outsmart him. If you move to another state, be sure that your number is non published. Also, see if there is anyway you can go by a different name, so he would not find you.

God Bless U,
And I will be praying for you

PG Lova

February 5, 2001
7:55 pm
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Molly
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Screw the charges, go to a shelter.

February 5, 2001
8:04 pm
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janes
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Ditto...

Screw the charges go to a shelter...

The people there should have access to legal counsel

Make your paper trail.

Beleive in yourself...take your life back.

If he beats you make sure you get photos of the bruises....

You need to help your self ...it's tough but you can.

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