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abandoned at childhood
October 9, 2001
12:24 pm
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lonely child
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September 27, 2010
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October 9, 2001
1:04 pm
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lonely child
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This is my first visit to the site.
Although I am a high achiever and from all appearances very succcessful, a business owner, in a longterm marriage, and have great kids. I have had feelings of deep depression. I keep going back to my childhood, which I now understand was quite disfunctional.I was the ultimate latch key kid. From the time I was 10 years old, my parents worked evenings. I came home to an empty house and no one returned until midnight. I guess the folks felt I was okay, since I never complained. My mother was just diagnosis with cancer and has 3-6 months to live. I am desparately trying to get over myself and be there for her... in the meantime, I am so depressed that my marriage is falling apart, along with my business, and worst of all, the kids are suffering. All of my deep seated resentments of not having a childhood, and low self esteem are back. I just don't know where to go from here. I have always been very controlling and now I am beginning to understand co-dependancy. How do I get over what happened over 20 years ago and believe that I am worthy? My mother still treats me as if I am insignificant.

October 9, 2001
2:26 pm
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riado
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September 27, 2010
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hi This is my first time on this sight,Ifeel wat u r saying as i went through a rough childhood and the small memerious r only starting to creep up on me now.I was told that u have an inner child that is bringing these feelings back up and u have to get in touch with her in order to help your self in my opionion you should go for one to one professianal help to start from ur childhood so if u have to listen to ur childrens probleams u will have coped with your own i hope i have been some help and theres always light keep ur head up..

October 9, 2001
5:27 pm
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Molly
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September 30, 2010
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Every once and a while I truly believe we must fake it before we make it, and in the case of mom, I think it will help. there is no way to change your child hood, and you may never accept it, so accept that you got what you got, and have made the most of it. Parents are human too, and with your own kids you see how easy it is to be neglectful with out intent. I remember a seminar where they stated your parents gave you life, and they don't owe you anything else, that was some one elses agenda. It sounds harsh, but reality check, most of us had not so bad lives until we decide to disect them. so, vist your mom, tell her your greatful for what she was able to give you, and drop the rest, if she was evil she is soon going to deal with that. Business creates stress and if your going through seperation or divorce, its going to suffer. I don't know how old the kids are, but if they can handle honesty, like my business is rough right now and my mommy is dying, and your mom and I are having a rough time, and daddy isn't handeling everything real easy or well right now but I love you, and we will hit the movies on Saturday, just so we can be together, and maybe they need to say good bye to Grandma to? When we face death , all of life is suddenly in neon. You might check in with a MD regarding anxiety or depression, and seek out a counselor where you can help sort through this stuff. With so many issues at hand its easy to slip into that little boy who got the short end of the stick, but hang in there, you will work through all of this, and do your self a favor have a good cry, get it out, write some things out so that you can process it all. its a lot for one person to deal with all at once, but your never ever alone.

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