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A Real friend?
June 7, 2005
9:24 am
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I still have resentment towards a friend I had back in elementry, that's where we met.
We were close till about high school, cus we both went to different schools, and she just kicked me to the curb after she met this other gal that became her bestfriend, after she met her I was invisible, but even though I transferred to that same high school to finish off my last 2yrs there. She had some drug problems back then, liked to party etc, but so did I, anyways I found out she was pregnant and she had a baby, this was after high school....I remember calling her and talking about her baby etc, then I come to find out like a few months later that she moved to NV w/ her bestfriend and she also met a guy and got married. For 10 years she never called or wrote me, not once...I was very hurt about that, after all she was suppose to be my "bestfriend" So I ran into her like a couple of years ago at the store by my house, so we exchanged ph numbers and started hanging out...but when we first started hanging out she would tell people at the local bar that we were bestfriends and I would just look at her like WTF? But she forgot about the -10yrs that she never even tried to contact me..anyways I forgave but have never forgotten, it just seems I still have this resentment towards her and I know she was never a REAL friend...I don't know if I am just being to sensitive, or is it that she drifted apart from our friendship..maybe because she was not my real friend..I do know she has issues, alot of self-esteem issues etc, and I don't think that is healthy for me in my recovery....anyone have any advice or feedback about this?

June 7, 2005
11:15 am
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Randomwomen2
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Well i know i drifted apart from some of my childhood friends we just didnt have anything in common anymore some of her standerds were very diffrent from mine. Anyway If you dont think your relationship is healthy then i think you need to end it hun. And you never realy forget things but if you can truly forgive it will be easer on you hun. Im sorry you are having such a hard time hun.
Julie

June 7, 2005
11:22 am
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SoulSpirit
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It seems to me that her definition of best friend, and yours was very different.

Best friends do lose touch, but they never forget! I am "over the hill", and my best friend lives a long way away from me, our email is even few and far between...our lives are busy, and so radically different...but when we do talk... it is like we have never been apart.

June 7, 2005
12:50 pm
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kathygy
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It sounds like you are taking your friend's past behavior personally. She just may have had other things pulling her in different directions. The most important thing is what kind of a friend is she now? Is she there for you? If she is a good friend you would be able to talk to her about the past and how you felt and she would want to work things through with you? But if you can't do that then she is not much of a friend.

June 7, 2005
1:02 pm
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CAMER
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sounds like she may have been a best friend at one point in your life, but thruout life friends come and go and life changes. For now, i wouldn't say she is a best friend. Maybe talking to her and telling her how you feel, you can resolve the resentment

June 7, 2005
1:20 pm
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starshine
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BC,
People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. I have eliminated some very negetive "friends" over the years, because they brought me down. Now I surround myself with positive people. My best friend from school (elementary thru hight school) lives somewhat far from me, and even though we don't talk everyday (once every few weeks) it's like there is no distance between us. We always pick up where we left off. Remember, everyone has their own life ane their own story, and I think if we realize that fact, it's easier to not take it personally, because nine times out of ten it has nothing to do with us.

June 7, 2005
7:23 pm
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Thanks to all of you for your advice and input, I guess maybe she did just drift away from our friendship and I just didn't, that's what just hurt, but the thing I had a problem with was her telling people we were bestfriends still, even though were not, guess maybe she felt guilty...but as far as her being a good friend? She's ok, there are some things I know I could not trust her about, like men for instance..she can be a bit of a whore..but I had my time of playing around to but that was just a phase for me...I am much different now, so I just consider her a friend, not a best, or good, but just a friend...if anything I would never trust her w/ my b/f..sounds bad but that's how I feel.

June 14, 2005
3:58 am
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Well I found out she's not a real friend, I found out she slept w/ a guy I slept with before, and she knew how I felt about sleeping w/ the same guys but she still did it, she had no respect for how I felt about the situation and when I got mad at her she was all mad that I was mad, she acted as if she did nothing wrong, to me if you respect your friends and how they feel about things you will at least not do that..in her email she was saying I did not own him, of course I don't, I don't even care about the guy, it's just the principle of the thing, I mean she does not respect herself, I guess I should have known she would never respect anbody elses feeelings especially her so called friend. I slept w/ this guy a few months ago, and she has slept w/ him recently...what made it worse was that I put it together that she was w/ him, and when I confronted she said she was going to tell me, which is a lie! Because she was at the bar one night and the next day she tells me "oh u should sleep w/ so and so" it was a guy she slept w/, and I was like WHAT?? and I told her again she knows how I feel about that...then she tells me she forgot that she slept w/ that guy before, she was talking about the guy I slept w/, all LIES from her...she just said that to cover herself, because she slept w/ him after I did...I was sooo disgusted and I told her that to..I even told her I realized she never was a REAL friend. I had to vent that out..I am done w/ her basically, cus it just comes down to me never being able to trust her...I will never pick up the phone and call her, she prolly eventually will..

June 14, 2005
8:30 am
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