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A new Voyage..... (alanon topic)
September 5, 2007
8:08 pm
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Jaded
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September 24, 2010
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Hi All,
It's been a long time since I've been here, and find myself walking in new territory.
To recap in short. I am the daughter, sister,cousin, friend and spouse of addict. As well as being a victim of sexual abuse and to now add to my list of discripters, the mother of two victims as well. Yep Im loaded to the hilt with dysfunction, and finally admitted to being a codependent/enabler.
Married for over 10 years to an addict,seperated many times....about a month ago I kicked him out. I told him he was no longer welcome in our home or my life untill he checked himself into rehab...Heart, mind and soul I was so honestly done with this relationship. HA!
Low and behold... after years of pleading, This man finally checks himself into rehab. AND is doing a fantastic job. And will be released later this week. (sigh)
I find myself now entering uncharterd territory. Still holding onto past resentments,animosity, broken trust, broken dreams, and my favorite... anger.
I have now found it easy to begin my own healing process, being involved and actually having a new understanding alanon.
Now of course I want to be the supportive wife that I have always been, after all he is finally doing exactly what I had hoped for right? Why is it so hard now to clean my slate of my ever comfortable anger and resentment and move into this new life full of promise, sobriety, great conversation and problem solving and possibly the relationship I have always wanted but gave up on having????

September 5, 2007
8:15 pm
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Jaded
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Oh yeah and did I mention that I managed to pick up a boyfriend just after I kicked my husband out, afterall I was done with him, heart mind and soul right?
yea so now.. I am totally confuzzzzzed.

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