Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In
Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
The forums are currently locked and only available for read only access
sp_TopicIcon
A little concerned about a hysterectomy....
June 1, 2007
3:34 pm
Avatar
Shaney
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 4
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hey girls -

I didn't see anywhere where Matteo said that having a uterus makes a woman a woman. I only read a different view or opinion about having a hysterectomy. I can honestly say that I would carefully consider every view shared, including Matteo's. It's a sensitive subject to say the least. And the process is viewed differently by everyone - based on SO many different variables - emotional, situational, financial, physical.... it goes on and on. I feel that all views and opinions are important. Anyway... hugs to all of you who have shared about such a personal experience... especially to you Mich, because I know that none of this is easy for you. It's coming from all sides and it's exhausting - sometimes I don't know how you manage all of it. Try not to be scared... I know that's easy for me to say... but whatever is best for your health and well being... that's probably the direction that I would take. I know that insurance is an issue, so just do your best to consider every option and know that we're all here supporting you.

Love and hugs friends - Shaney

June 1, 2007
4:47 pm
Avatar
bevdee
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 259
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Mich

What is it about the hysterectomy that you are the most upset about?

June 1, 2007
4:50 pm
Avatar
thewall
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Ma strong,

God woman, you are soo encouraging. I'm seriously considering it myself now. Soo tired of all of these problems but didnt want it to affect my sex life :-D. I'd suffer through anything to preserve that 😉

thewall
(or should i say thehornywall--haha)

June 1, 2007
7:31 pm
Avatar
StronginHim77
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 453
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

thewall -

It won't affect your sex life...not after you heal, anyway. Just take a 6 week break.

Actually, sex can sometimes be BETTER afterward. They can "tighten" you up, if you have had children. (I had them do this for me...it's called "anterior/posterior repair.") This makes intercourse MUCH more pleasurable for both parties.

: )

June 1, 2007
9:52 pm
Avatar
Matteo
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 2
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

risingfromtheashes ~ I am not sure why you addressed me in your post, but anyhow. No, I am not getting only one side of the story, I am giving you the other side of the story, the hidden one. The propaganda is, as it always was, that it is a quick fix and a procedure which is a remedy for all your gynecological problems you might have (or not have at that matter), a procedure which on the top of it gives you freedom from your periods. Sex is all in your head and you will get hormones anyway. The women I was talking about were silenced and no one believed or even validated their experiences, same like you just did in your post. Nobody advertised their anguish and grief. I do understand what they are talking about because for me sexual experience is not limited to the “outside” parts as you put it so perhaps women are different, and freedom from fear of pregnancy alone might be not for everyone sufficient boost for sex life after hysterectomy, if a major component of sexual experience is missing. So for me comparing women’s reproductive parts to male reproductive parts is not off base, and far from it. Vagina alone doesn’t do much for me, but then again – not everyone is the same. Also not everyone’s libido is dropping after the menopause, for some it’s just the opposite, keep that in mind as well – the loss of libido due to age is not inevitable for all women.

It is not my concern if majority would go ahead and have their uterus as well other organs removed, just in case they might cause them any problems now or anytime in the future, and then go ahead and celebrate it. I, for one, choose to keep my organs intact unless it is life threatening and I have absolutely no other choice; heavy bleeding or not. Cautioning someone not to amputate their leg in case of arthritis as opposed to cancer is quite considerate and thoughtful approach in my understanding and this is what it comes down to. You will still be a 100% woman, a full human being having only one leg, the question is however why did you amputate your leg, how medically necessary it was.

Mich. said in her first post: "Anyone have any answers, helpful ideas, or anything else at this point?? But, don't sugarcoat it...I want the truth. I am trying to go into this expecting the worst...and hoping for better." My post was an answer to it. If the thread's title was: "A little excited about a hysterectomy" instead of "A little concerned about hysterectomy", I wouldn't bother.

June 1, 2007
10:05 pm
Avatar
lovinglife
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 9
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

got thinking about you and this sitz just a bit ago...brought back a memory of yrs ago.

I started questioning that if you had insurance, would what you are feeling and your thoughts be different verses what you are expressing here. Also would you want to explore all the other options first before making the final decision to have a hysterectomy?

I had a tubal at the tender age of 21 (X wouldn’t alter his reproductive stuff- and I was no way in hell going to go through carrying another one of his children- my pregnancy’s were horrible because he was horrible to me). Through-out the years from then until now I had to find a way for me to accept that at that time I didn’t have any other options. Do I regret having a tubal? overall, NO, because I probably would have had 10 more kids w/ the X and then instead of getting close to wrapping up these parents yr that the X used to keep me in his graces - I’d still have more years to go!! BUT what gets me and my point really here is that because of my life circumstances at the time is what my decision was solely based on. Had my life circumstances been different- I KNOW I wouldn’t have had it done.

I'm sensing perhaps a form of self-preservation (my new word of the week!) that because of the no insurance thinger you have to justify in your mind the decision and shut out truly what you feel - (com'on now sis tell me that you don't like sex even just a little bit?! If it be the case that you lost complete interest in it. ) I just want you to be completely honest with yourself and your feelings (and perhaps you already are)…

I feel for you Michy having to even deal with this health issue in the first place as well as possibly having to make a decision that maybe otherwise you wouldn’t based on your life circumstances. ((((Michigan))))

June 2, 2007
12:55 pm
Avatar
StronginHim77
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 453
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

By the way, I think I read somewhere that one of the many side-effects of clinical depression is loss of interest in sex. Sure makes sense to me!! Especially if your mate is one of the primary sources of your depression!

Mich - Have you been able to talk to Jim (I think that is the name of your counselor?) about your understandable fears and apprehension, regarding this procedure? He has always given you such sound advice. And you need alot of support right now.

- Ma Strong

June 2, 2007
1:47 pm
Avatar
lovinglife
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 9
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Oh Ma- YES thats right- one of the side effects of clinical depression- loss of interest in sex!! And like you said, "esp if its your mate being one of the primary sources of your depression.."

June 3, 2007
7:41 am
Avatar
ScaredinMichigan
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 5
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Matteo~

I owe you an apology. I am truly sorry for the way that I got so upset with you. I have spent a couple of days trying to figure out why. I can't pinpoint it. What I do know is this....I told you that having my uterus, cervix and ovaries removed would not make me feel like less of a woman. Immediately after responding to your post, I said this to a friend on the phone..."BUT...if that isn't what makes me female, then what does?" I know that I am doing what is best in the situation for me..that just doesn't seem to be making it easy for me at all right now. I am very confused about it, and VERY scared of what the next few weeks will bring my way. I apologize for over-reacting to your response to me.

(((Matteo)))

LL~I love you, and thank you for being there for me. You hit on a couple of WAY scary thoughts for me. I will think on them for a while. (((LL)))

Ma~NO doubt that my depression plays on my sex drive a LOT. Yes, I am talking to Jim about this as much as I can. I talk to him about EVERYTHING. Thanks for your support and concern.(((Ma)))

(((the wall)))(((Shaney)))(((rising))) (((Isis))) (((Fridnma))) (((gg))) (((Gracenotes))) (((2BHAPPY))) (((sad sack))) (((sandpiper))) (((Bev)))

Thank you all for your support and beliefs, and feelings, and stories. I appreciate it a LOT. I have a LOT to think about here.

Love to you all.

June 5, 2007
12:37 pm
Avatar
Matteo
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 2
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

ScaredinMichigan ~ thanks for the hugs, and hugs back to you. Honestly I didn't realize that a bunch of people got ticked off by my post until I went to the other side and read the "safe" thread. My thought about it was - this is what the complained about here "clicks" are all about: not the same posters forming friendships and responding to each other often, but going to another threads and talking about posters who have no idea what's going on because they were not addressed on the original thread like they should (and the way the AAC guidelines recommend it).

Aside from that, I truly appreciate your post. I know that this time you are not asking for an advice, but in the light of what you've said, and especially after reading LL's post, I will give it to you anyway. I think that you are deep down not so sure that you are doing the right thing, especially for yourself. You've said: "I know that I am doing what is best in the situation" (and this "in the situation" part bothers me the most) and then right away: "I am very confused about it". I think that you are confused, and scared, and that this is not the best time to deal with this problem, considering how much is going on in your life right now.

You've just had a baby, you were grieving after having your tubes tight, you have four small children to take care of, including a baby, and your marriage is not in a very healthy place at all. It takes at least half a year for women's hormones to get back anywhere near to "normal" after the pregnancy and childbirth, and if your were breastfeeding, it takes much longer, and your baby is only 10 months old. You have a back pain, and yes, it happens after delivery sometimes for a very long time. Each pregnancy is different and so is the recovery. Your periods are too heavy and too often, but they are not life threatening. I know a woman who had fibrosis and was bleeding for years (I guess she was scared to address the problem, and waited so long) and at age 45 last year still tried different treatment than hysterectomy - so far so good. Honestly I was surprised with her decision, because she was bleeding almost constantly, but I think she made the right one.

All what I am trying to say here is: why don't you postpone it? When your hormones will be better balanced, your body will recover from pregnancy and tubal, your baby will be older and you will be stronger physically and emotionally - why don't you just wait? Your condition is annoying and tiering, but is not life threatening by any means and it is not like they will stop doing these surgeries anytime soon, so you have to rush to do it. The thing is that you can always go ahead and do it, but not the other way around. Besides, your body will recover faster if you wait a while after childbirth. Please give it some thought and just wait. Your physical and emotional well-being is the most important, not the finances, schedules and other people's opinions. I am sure deep down in your heart you know what is best for you; take care of yourself, of your well-being first. (((Mich)))

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
27
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 111147
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38716
Posts: 714574
Newest Members:
mamahanisha, joachimfreunde, Deressamble, Neakey, ronaldcarter, Andrewank
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2021 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information