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A great idea for those with kids..dating your child
January 13, 2006
9:12 pm
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nc_mom_of_2
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I had this great idea for helping me cope with being a single Mom and the loneliness that goes along with that. I decided that I needed to start "Dating" again. But this time, I thought it should be with people who actually deserve my time and effort, my kids. So what I do is have my parents watch one of my two children, while I take the other one on a "date". They get to choose where we eat at and then we get a movie, go home, cuddle, watch the movie and eat popcorn. It helps them to feel special and helps me not to feel so alone.

I got this idea when my ex-husband decided to skip out on taking our daughter out to eat for Valentine's Day, instead telling her that he has to take his girlfriend now and that he will just have to take her another day. That broke my daughter's heart and I decided then to always go the extra mile to help she and my son feel special, and through it all, I actually feel better too.

There are ways to cope. I hope this helps someone else too.

January 13, 2006
9:21 pm
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Lt4Others
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ncm2,

Great idea! I do it occasionally with my daughter, even though she's now 17. She's a vegetarian, so we eat at a local Indian veggie restaurant. The owners recognize her and greet us warmly. We order all her favorite veggie dishes and chat about positive things going on in her life. It's little things like this that make a big difference in the lives of our children. My son and I have a pizza together every few weeks too. I appreciate this as much as they do, as kids this age are not fond of being seen in public with their parents.

I'm sorry your daughter's father doesn't feel the same way. Kids are very perceptive. The good news is that her mom does the right thing.

Keep up the good work.....Lt4Others

January 13, 2006
9:28 pm
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kasie919
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nc:
You sound Like a wonderful mom, and I am going to take your advice, I have a little man he is 4, we date all the time, he is so very special, and I know when my dilemma is all said and done , he will be the light that leads the way..

Very insperational you are, Im sorry to hear the ex has changed his ways, but your family has you and you are very special..

May God bless,

Love Kasie

January 13, 2006
9:35 pm
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Rasputin
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Nc - I am not married and have no kids yet. So, I will take your advice when I become a mom. I think it is wonderful to be able to give love to your kids esp when with one parent. God bless you for your kindness and thoughtfulness!!! ~Ras~

January 13, 2006
10:29 pm
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nc_mom_of_2
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Lt4Others:
Your encouragement was a welcome change from an ex who is constantly attacking my parenting ethics. I'm so glad to hear that you also spend special time with your children. I'm sure you are a wonderful mother! You are so very kind!! Thank you!!

Kasie:
Thank you so much for also encouraging me and I hope that you do date your son. He will be better for seeing that you see him as special. My little guy is also 4, so we have that in common. I'm sure your son gives you hope to keep moving forward, the same as my two kids do for me. And I can tell you love him very much! Keep the faith! I wish you love and happiness always!!

Rasputin:
I'm sure you will be a great mother when that time in your life comes... I can say this because you are willing to take advice from others who have been down this treacherous path. I have all faith in you! Thank you for your encouragement!

January 13, 2006
10:49 pm
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Lt4Others
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nc,

You are a wonderful mother. There's no doubt of that. As for me, I'll settle for being a wonderful dad. Deal? Have a great evening. 🙂

Stroking his beard......Lt4Others

January 13, 2006
11:00 pm
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Lass
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Kids love "traditions" and really come to expect the continuity of them. You can create your own anytime you want. I wish I had been more creative this way, but I was busy surviving my life!

LL

January 14, 2006
12:02 am
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nc_mom_of_2
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Oh my goodness Lt4 Others!! I am so embarrassed! I guess I should have not assumed you were a mother... Forgive me. I can tell you're a great DAD! lol....

Considering myself corrected *Smiles!*

Nc mom

January 14, 2006
12:06 am
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nc_mom_of_2
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Lass:

I'm sure your child(ren) have their own fond memories of things you did with them. You are so right about traditions. I'm going to do my darndest to make sure this is one we continue for years to come! Thanks for your reply!

January 14, 2006
4:06 am
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Lass
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Your most welcome, nc-mom-of-2. Nice to meetcha.

LL

January 14, 2006
6:00 am
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wannasmile
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Hey nc you sound like such a cool mum.. im in highschool and wish i could do that with my mum... but she never seems to want 2 spend time like closley 2gether shes a great mum but i wish i had wat u have with ur kids
they are very lucky!!

keep it up!!

wannasmile!!

January 14, 2006
9:35 am
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nc_mom_of_2
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It's very nice to meet you too, Lass.

Wannasmile,
Thank you for the compliment! I am trying very hard to make good memories for my children, considering all the terrible ones they had when their father and I were together.
Maybe you could suggest an outing or "date" with your own Mum. Maybe she just hasn't thought of something like that yet. I bet she would love to spend time with you. It can't hurt to ask.

January 14, 2006
10:21 am
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exoticflower
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nc, as a single mother of a 19 mo., I think we are already past the dating phase and onto a committed domestic relationship! She never picks up her see and say, I'm always nagging her not to draw on the walls, she's finding it harder and harder to get up my blouse(ah, weening)...

They do say that when things get stagnent you need to go on dates to bring bavk that fuzzy new relationship feel--and I DO remember a time when going out with the baby, actually having everything togeather and going OUT was a big deal if I could pull it off, and it occours to me that I don't even make the effort to do that anymore, just too much of a hasstle or what have you. ANd that's a shame, babyexotic would likely enjoy it just as much as I would now that she is older. Thanks for the tip, I'm definately goingt o give it a whirl!

January 14, 2006
12:19 pm
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nc_mom_of_2
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Way to go, exoticflower! Sometimes the hardest part of an outing with the little ones is actually the getting ready stage, not the outing itself. Plan ahead..maybe lay out the clothes you'll wear the night before, bathe the night before, rather than the morning of the "date", pack the bag you plan to take the night prior (except for perishables) and make sure to give yourself enough time to get ready so that you aren't rushed and baby has an "accident" with a diaper that leaked ( all Mom's know how those things happen at the most inoppurtune moments!)

I'm sure you two will have laods of fun once you actually get out there. Let me know how it works out!

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