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A Game to play
January 19, 2000
1:02 am
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gst
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Bel,

It's odd, but I don't know of any performers, film stars etc. who are famous for not getting a little bent out of shape at least before hand so this puts you immediately in touch with many hundreds of thousands of people all over the country who will at that point in time on that very day and even at that very minute who will be going through that very same thing at that very exact time.

So to all of you (and you especially Bel) I hope you will try this and tell me if it really works . . .

Standing in front of everyone there, take a deap breath, speak a little louder than usual and picture the entire audience sitting there in their underware listening to you, thoughtfully, almost in deep seriousness . . .

Good luck!

January 19, 2000
1:33 am
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gst
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Ah yes, I just realized I really could use some patience - 've always thought of myself as the most patient person in the whole world and in fact there are things I have been working on for years, waiting for them to blossom - hopeing. But when I go outside, it's like I have no patience with people. Especially waiting in lines.

So, I think that will help.

January 19, 2000
1:41 am
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gst
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VRJ

Wake up, wake up- I need know which is colder, Canada or Russia?

January 19, 2000
9:57 am
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kitten
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I have patience, tons of it...but still looking for connection; a warm shoulder to lean on and soft eyes in which to see my reflection...

January 19, 2000
10:56 am
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eve
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bel, if you need this good self-esteem for a business presentation, I can help you out. And god luck with your presentation. I'm myself short on good self-esteem for finding a new partner.

All, these qualities that we are trading, are they overall qualities? Or rather - like with my self esteem: here more - there less.

January 19, 2000
12:07 pm
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gst
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Eve

Hi, I think it is different for different people. So one person may be thinking of the entire quality they percieve, others, just a part. But like VRJ you may find you don't want to give away the whole thing because reinterprting it may give it different value. (I enjoyed that VRJ got such a good laugh)

What do you think?

January 19, 2000
12:29 pm
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eve
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Gst,
of course I wouldn't give any of my qualities away totally, even fear and anger and sadness are things that I sometimes really need, I wouldn't allow anybody to take them away from me permanently - and even less I'd try to get rid of all my middle and good qualities. I think this here is more like sharing or trading the surplus. (Or did you give all of your feeling great to me? I mean, I still have it, you can have some of it back, but surely you didn't trade all of it.) :-), just ask.

January 19, 2000
2:15 pm
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gst
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Hi eve,

Yes, I was feeling great and today again as soon as I woke up I was feeling great. But somehow last night(see my notes) I wasn't, so perhaps I gave too much away not realizing that I would need one of those cards later.

So now I'm not feeling so great and could use a little bit but maybe I should be looking for someway to make myself feel great when I need it. So possibly I need equilibrium! Perhaps.

Or maybe, some way to make myself feel safer when being plagued by daily problems and new not so pleasant surprises. I don't know, guess I have to think about it more.

January 19, 2000
5:19 pm
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VRJ
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gst, equilibrium, hmmm, I don't know if I have that right now. But I have perseverance and determination. If you find equilibrium let me know.

I don't know which is colder. It probably depends where and what day. I live within an hour or so of the US border.

By the way, I can't come here at work so I have to wait until I get home.

And I think if you are anything like your namesake, and you look hard, you can probably find some equilibrium right within yourself. After all, the gst is applied equally to everything, except luxury foods which I think are exempt. So, while you're looking for equilibrium eat all you want. They say chocolate does wonders.

January 19, 2000
5:20 pm
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VRJ
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gst, equilibrium, hmmm, I don't know if I have that right now. But I have perseverance and determination. If you find equilibrium let me know.

I don't know which is colder. It probably depends where and what day. I live within an hour or so of the US border.

By the way, I can't come here at work so I have to wait until I get home.

And I think if you are anything like your namesake, and you look hard, you can probably find some equilibrium right within yourself. After all, the gst is applied equally to everything, except luxury foods which I think are exempt. So, while you're looking for equilibrium eat all you want. They say chocolate does wonders.

January 19, 2000
8:13 pm
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gst
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VRJ

Thanks - When you mentioned Canada it reminded me that I really wanted to know about that. I hear so much about Russian winters, Waterloo, Siberia etc. but nothing about Canada, so I was going a little crazy to finally find out, and I was up pretty late. Sorry.

Maybe your right about equilibrium - I'm feeling that way at this moment - Who knows how long it will last. Oh well, you just keep going forward.

January 20, 2000
2:45 pm
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lost soul
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hi friends, how about me? I am totally drained.First, my jobis giving me hell.Then My husband instead of sharing it and support with me,. He back out again.When I sleep and wake up in the middle of the night, he is gone with the winds.
How can I still having this stupic man in my life?

January 20, 2000
3:26 pm
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infaith
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Lost, your husband is only echoing the abandonment that you are in fact doing to yourself. Once you start to "be there" for yourself, you will find other "be there" people will gravitate into your life.
Try to get off the sleeping pills and take the pill of self renewal. Dont dwell on the lacks in your life any more, yes we see there are many, but tell us and yourself (journalling) about the pluses in your life, the credits. Whatever you dwell upon will grow.......guarantee it.

January 20, 2000
5:43 pm
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gst
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Hi Lost Soul,

infaith is really on target. I am now going through a very bad crisis that came up today and could have a signifcan effect on my $$$ over the next year. So, whta do you do? I did done to my own strength to keep a level head, let the answers surface and believe that I am going with all my soul in the right direction. So I will even did deeper now, and let you share in my strength. I will believe there is enough there for you too. Good luck!

January 20, 2000
7:17 pm
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gst
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oops,

that is "dig down deep". Makes a difference.

January 20, 2000
8:46 pm
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bel
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Eve and Gst,

Thanks for the selfesteem offer Eve I will take all I can get. šŸ™‚

And GST that is to funny to think of all those exec. in their undies.... actually someone else did tell me that once. I will have to think of that when I get up there on the 26th of Jan for my presentation.

Bel

January 20, 2000
9:17 pm
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gst
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The day before my birthday - Good luck!(I can see them now!) I just wish we could hear from all of the others who will be in that same situation, at that time, on that day, to get the results - all at once. I think we'd run out of computer!!:)

January 21, 2000
12:26 am
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kitten
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Bel,

Go that one better...since we are all human...and do the same human things...imagine them in the bathroom in the morning doing their normal routine, complete with noises. It will put them right there on the appropriate level, taking them off that imaginary pedestal.

See, I have an extra ammount of chutzpa and I'll trade it for a little bit of nurturing? Although I am a mother, I don't have one of my own and am in need of a bit of mothering!

kitten

January 21, 2000
1:00 am
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gst
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Hi Kitten,

I am very impressed with you. You're very interesting. (Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrfectly interesting)

I am going through some rather extrodinary emotional upheaval and am so far ok but feel the need to stretch myself, I suppose just to keep my equilibrium flowing or something - (The way to get something done is to make it harder)

But I feel badly, though, because I don't think I have much nurturing, however, if you would like some of my caring I will be happy to give what I can. It will make me feel good if you can use it.

January 21, 2000
1:07 pm
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bel
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Happy Birthday GST! Mine was on Jan 1st!

I will let you know how it goes. I am a good listener if anyone cares to just talk and talk and talk, not to big on advice though.

So GST and Kitten Im hear with open arms for your nurturing or caring or whatever.

And Kitten that is really extreme to imagine all first thing in the morning!...but a good idea!

Thanks
Bel...............;)

January 21, 2000
1:22 pm
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eve
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bel,
are you serious, you listen but you are not big on advice? I used to think that advice is something that one has to take - like it or not - when somebody will be so good and listen! More like to pay for the listening you then have to listen to the advice. šŸ™‚

I think I'll take some of that listening and offer some "giving advice" for that.

January 21, 2000
3:17 pm
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gst
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Hi eve, Hi bel,

I could definitely use some open arms right now! I don't want to appear self pitying but I am still in the "middle game" (chess terminology) of my emotional termoil and I am pretty sure I'm going to lose. Really will hurt a lot but I am and have put all I can muster into it. I won't know until Monday. The middle game (waiting) is the hardest most of the time. Terrrifying but I'm doing well enough with it.

Soooooo - great to hear about the open arms, I even found another caring for you and Happy Birthday. (Aquarians are is such a trip! always:):)(.com terminology)

I hope your listening is helpful, bel

Bye

January 21, 2000
3:17 pm
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gst
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Hi eve, Hi bel,

I could definitely use some open arms right now! I don't want to appear self pitying but I am still in the "middle game" (chess terminology) of my emotional termoil and I am pretty sure I'm going to lose. Really will hurt a lot but I am and have put all I can muster into it. I won't know until Monday. The middle game (waiting) is the hardest most of the time. Terrrifying but I'm doing well enough with it.

Soooooo - great to hear about the open arms, I even found another caring for you and Happy Birthday. (Aquarians are is such a trip! always:):)(.com terminology)

I hope your listening is helpful, bel

Bye

January 21, 2000
3:18 pm
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gst
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oops, no eraser!

January 21, 2000
3:31 pm
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gst
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Thought for the moment - anybody with a prayer? I won't turn anything down at this point!

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