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A Game to play
January 18, 2000
1:11 am
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gst
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I'd like to play a game if any one wants to play. I'm just not exactly sure how to go about it this way but I think it's a good game.

The way it should be played is to have a handful of cards but each card is marked with a quality you feel you posess that others might use, or a quality you need and feel others may have. Like fish, you ask if anyone has what you may be looking for - if they do, they get a chance to ask you. And so it goes.

Rather than exchange cards, here, it would be interesting to see what each of you comes up with.

So, I now have 5 qualities I am thinking about - I'll start with an odd one - "aloofness" - I think it's part of feeling alone but not sure - any takers?

January 18, 2000
4:29 am
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hazza
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Hi, Gst
I'll swap your aloofness for my over-dependence. I also have Nevousness on offer, please someone take that one away!!!

Hazza

January 18, 2000
7:25 am
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lost soul
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Well, I will swap nevousness with "confusion"

January 18, 2000
7:42 am
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gst
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Hazza,
Darn! I have a very high drive to be independent minded, just not as succesful a I would always like, so I'll take 1/2 of the overdependence. I have very strong loving/caring qualities, unusual a guy, so I'll give you 50% of that. I take Nadolol to handle my nervousness, but I guess that's already gone.

Lost soul, if you like, I can offer a unique sense of introspection that helps to sort through a lot of emotional confusion, a good sense of method for problem solving over people issues so 75%% of that (I'm still working on a little more of that). But I do hae this uncanny sense of lwo self esteem - a mood that settles over me at times I can't quite explain - it just happens

January 18, 2000
7:44 am
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gst
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Hazza,
How do you overcome aloofness. Is it just not and isue or do you do something in particular?

January 18, 2000
12:08 pm
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gst
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I just woke up and feel really great. Very clear headed. It's amazing what sleep will do.
I have plenty to spare at the moment- any takers?

January 18, 2000
12:27 pm
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eve
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here!
Can' ever have enough of feeling great. But I guess that you won't get rid of feeling great by giving it to others, you'll accumulate more and more of it. I can feel it building up right now. I'm even prepared to take some of your low self esteem together with it. I don't think I "need" it, but I have good ways of dealing with it, now that I'm feeling great :-). How about feeling righteous - any takers?

January 18, 2000
2:50 pm
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gst
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Glad to get rid of some of the feelings of low esteem. I was in denial about this for a long time. But I think I will eventually find my way through it.

righteous is interesting though. It seems as though sometimes it could be good- For instance when incorporated with fear. Someone attacks you(verbally) and instead of just taking it, you feel a sense of righteousness - sort of indignation and so you feel more safe in efending yourself rather than afraid to speak back.

When it turns to arrogance, I draw the line because I don't think this is a good quality. Sooooo, sure I will take the righteous feeling - I think I can use them to good effect.

January 18, 2000
3:00 pm
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hazza
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I have humour bubbling in me for no reason right now, but i feel fine and smiley.
Want to share?
Hazza

January 18, 2000
3:10 pm
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kitten
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I'll take some of your humour if someone can take some of my feelings of isolation...that I am not part of a nuclear family...but I also have a feeling of adventure--wanting to seek out new territory! Anyone want to go exploring?

January 18, 2000
3:43 pm
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eve
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kitten, if I take your feeling of isolation and add my feeling of isolation, what does that make us? Isolated together? Or comfortabe? Wait, I got it. It does make us unique. And that is not negative at all. And I think isolated as we are, we are also like stars shining in the darkness. Anybody in need of a little shimmering light?

January 18, 2000
7:37 pm
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VRJ
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I'll take some sense of adventure and some shimmering light. Does anyone want a bit of my faith? I have plenty. But would someone also give me some tactfulness!

January 18, 2000
8:30 pm
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infaith
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I have faith for everyone, just ask:)

January 18, 2000
8:41 pm
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gst
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I feeling a little down. Don't know why. Not depressed, just sort of weary or something. Just had a huge pizza (sorry, but there's none of it left!) too bad I missed out on the shimmering light, I would have really liked some right now. But I'll take some faith, a little goes a long way and so I'm sure this, like all things, this will pass soon enough.

I do have a great deal of strength - tenacity, sticktuitiveness, determination, that sort of thing. Could use a little more peace of mind.

January 18, 2000
9:01 pm
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gst
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VRJ -

Just realized I can conjure up an unusual sense of diplomacy and order - so I think that translates as tact. Sometimes, however, I enjoy tactlessness - like when I feel like being a brat around the family. (Purposely and openly picking your nose in a good restraunt with the family at a holiday gathering!)You can't live too colorlessly. So I'm going to leave you with a little in case you think you might want to draw on it sometime in the future.

January 18, 2000
9:06 pm
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VRJ
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gst did you really do that? That is toooo funny. And so is your name! Here (Canada) the GST is the national sales tax.. But I'll definitely take some of your order. I'll trade some of the shimmering light I got and you can have all the faith you want. I have an overabundance.

January 18, 2000
9:56 pm
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infaith
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I have faith that you will find the cute funny person that you are gst and see the strength that you truly have

January 18, 2000
9:57 pm
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gst
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yes, shimmering light is good. Not too giddy though, afraid to lose control. And yes I said that - sometimes good to watch others lose it! I can have lots of laughs sometimes and you're welcome to all you like. Sorry 'bout the name but if you find out future checks wind up being mysteriously mailed to the USA, you'll know why.

By the way, which is colder, Canada or Russia?

January 18, 2000
10:01 pm
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bel
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I need some selfesteem if anyone wants to share with me. I can give some patience, I usually have alot of that. But my selfesteem was lost long ago and I have yet to find the amount I need.

Thanks
Bel

January 18, 2000
10:03 pm
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gst
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infaith,

How totally deafening you are. My mood suddenly shifts to almost crying. Your insight is quite impactful. And after that very good laugh from VRJ.

Yes, I think I quite like that - why doesn't anyone else see that? Oh well. Maybe I just need more faith. Sometimes I wonder about that. Who knows - but yes, very insightful, very good.

January 18, 2000
10:14 pm
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gst
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bel,

If insight can in anyway be linked to self esteem, I have some of that,.

I think self esteem is linked in some way to aloneness - ability to be alone, something like that. A sense of loving/caring, being able to move out of the way of others, but it's not exactly clear to me. I can use a good supply of esteem myself as well and am working very hard at it but not there yet.

It's odd, I heard Jim Carey mention in an interview about his "Low self-esteem days" and how he has a hard time going out in public on those days because of the public expectations. It's odd - but interesting to think about.

I wish I knew more about that but I'm afrai

January 18, 2000
10:16 pm
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gst
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oops,

. . .afraid I don't.

January 18, 2000
10:22 pm
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kitten
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could I perhaps borrow a cup of determination and faith...I'm a little low right now and need to make it through the next couple of days... I have a gallon of passion if anyone needs some!

January 18, 2000
11:59 pm
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infaith
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Here is a lake of faith for you Kitten, and a armful of love for you gst. The only thing that gets in the way of self esteem and knowing and loving ourselves are doubts and fears, these seperate us from who we truly are. We ARE truly strong, loving individuals, your higher self knows this and stays there for you telling you this. It is our tapes from past tragedies, losses or fears that came true that cloud our true authenticity from our own true selves. We need to be courageous and let go and let god so that we may feel our inner need to trust ourselves. If we ask god in prayer (however you perceive god- all loving all knowing-universal life energy) then your prayers will manifest if you truly are speaking from your heart and visualise the divine outcome your are seeking. OUr thoughts create our world and it is simply a choice to no longer live in the past of regrets and grief but to go forward taking from the past our lessons and our good things. Write down all the things that you see that are going well in your life and in your person and DO NOT ENTERTAIN ANY NEGATIVES OR DOUBTS...do this for a week and then we can talk. I guarantee you your attitude will have changed. Hold only love and faith in your every day not fear, anger or resentments.......just let go.......

January 19, 2000
12:19 am
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bel
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Thank You gst I will take what you are offering. Next week I have to give a brief presentation to some executives at work on all my working duties. I am very nervous about going in front of a panel and my co-workers, I do not speak up as it is and not to speak to a room full of people.....I may just hyperventelate....sorry for the spelling...Wish me luck...

Always
Bel

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