Avatar

Please consider registering
guest

sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register

Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search

— Forum Scope —




— Match —





— Forum Options —





Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters

sp_TopicIcon
A final letter to [her] from Willitgetbetter
March 2, 2005
9:46 am
Avatar
willitgetbetter
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

For those of you who know my story (and those that don't but want some reassuring reading), here is a copy of an email i have just sent to [the bitch from hell].Boy do I feel good, now I can look forward to the rest of my life.

Dear Lisa
I feel I have to write this one last letter as a way of closure on our relationship in my head. there are a number of things I need to say which I doubt you will take on board. However, i am going to say them anyway.

You accused me of being deceitful and lying to you. Well, yes I was and yes I did to a certain degree. I however have the courage of my convictions to admit when I was wrong. Yes I did go on the internet dating agency. You knew I was on there before we met. No I shouldn’t have been curious and had another look when we were in a relationship. However, it was just curiosity and I did not chat to anyone or meet anyone. That is the only lie I ever told you! Now lets look at how many lies you told me:
1. Your ‘friend’ John – you told me he was of your ex husband’s family. How come then he did not know your surname when of course you took your ex husband’s name when you married him?

2. You told me it was (B), your girlfriend, who was giving you money when in fact (B) is broke and it was in fact her son, your ex boyfriend, who was giving you the money.

3. You told me you went to your grandmother’s funeral. How come when I sent your father a condolence card he called me to ask what the fuck I was playing at as his mother was very much alive and well!

4. You told me your friend (D) had been beaten up by her boyfriend and was in hospital critically ill. She sent the police round to pick you up and you spent the night at her bedside. You told me that is why you didn’t call me back nor did you answer your phone. I called (D’s) ex husband to ask how she was and apparently she is fit and well and in fact they are back together and have been for months!

5. You told me you went to the nightclub with your mum and (B), your friend. Your mum cannot stand (B) and wouldn’t go within spitting distance of her let alone go to a nightclub with her. Also, that particular nightclub was closed on the night in question for renovation!

6. Why did you tell me you were pregnant and had a termination when in fact you were never pregnant at all. Don’t deny it, I found the letter from the doctor.

7. You told me you suffered from bulimia and anorexia as a teenager and that your mother was the only one that knew about it. Firstly, all those around you would notice a dramatic loss in weight, secondly, when I spoke to your mother about it she was blissfully unaware!

8. You told me you had suffered sexual abuse as a child from an uncle. Again, you told me only your parents knew about this and that they dealt with it in their own way by disposing of the ‘abuser’ and not notifying the authorities. How come neither of your parents were aware of this? As you know, I asked them about it as I wanted to help and support you. When they confronted you, you admitted to ‘making it up’.

9. Two weeks after you dumped me, when I was my lowest point, you told me you had moved someone else into my bed and were getting married on February 14th. There never was anyone, at least no one who was going to marry you.

You blamed me for breaching your trust and for causing the breakdown in our relationship. For the last few months I have been in turmoil thinking I was to blame. Yes I told you a lie but I think you have to agree, my lie pales into insignificance compared to yours!

I lost my job, my home and very nearly my life because of you and up until a couple of weeks ago I still loved you. You are still intent on destroying me but let me tell you lady, it ain’t gonna happen.

You have taught me a harsh lesson in life. I have been too trusting and loving, and will probably continue to do so. I will however be aware that there are people like you around who have one aim in life which is to destroy others or at least bring them down to your level. Not me, I have fought back. You can knock me down but I get up again a much stronger man. You however, just move on to the next victim.

I truly believe that you were put on this planet to destroy people. I’m not the first you have done this to and you know that. I honestly believe you have at some stage sold your soul to the devil and you are now working for him.

The force behind me is stronger than your ‘boss’ and you can’t hurt me any more. You know how I can say that? I’ll tell you…..

1. I will never answer your calls again and I would ask you not to call me with frantic messages; If you do I will report them as nuisance calls.

2. I will not respond to emails, in fact I have blocked you from MSN.

3. if you call me on my mobile phone, I will ignore you. If you call me from a number I don’t know and I answer, I will disconnect your call immediately.

4. If you continue to contact me in any way, I will use the powers of the court to prevent you from doing so.

Please move on and get on with your life, as much as it is, and leave me to get on with mine. Thanks for the memories kid!

Rob

March 2, 2005
10:17 am
Avatar
CAMER
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 100
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

hi Willing: wow, what a letter! it must feel good putting your feelings in writing. It seems to me that she had a case of being a "compulsive liar"....and too many of them also.

I can understand your hurt and pain, and yes no one is perfect and you may have lied to her, and its true, she lied, over and over and over etc. And she will probably do the same thing to her next guy too.

I guess this is a good learning lesson, and I am glad you have the strength to move forward now & know
and learn from what she did to you.

Now, will you be all set knowing that she may not read the email or if she does read it, did you want closure from that also???

(((hugs & support))) camer

March 2, 2005
11:06 am
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Right on, Rob!

It's highly unlikely that she is ever going to own her shit. I'm glad to see you can write about the fact that you own your mistakes and do something to make things better.

It's obvious from the things she has done that she is far to immature emotionally and spiritually to "get it" which is probably a part of why she doesn't take any responsibility. It also seems like she does a lot of lying to get attention--especially yours.

You are right to completely detach from her! Pat yourself on the back for a job well done!!!

Love to you,

Ren'ai

March 2, 2005
11:09 am
Avatar
addicts wife
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Good for you for sendingthat, and letting it go.
Ive dated satan myslef, andIt is awful. Im so glad youve gotten through this, and are moving on!!!
You rock for speaking you mind, andfor laying out your boundaries clearly.
Hopefully you will not have ot call te "authorities" pr get a restraining order, and she'll just go on to the next poor victim.
Im proud of you!!!
Hope you have a wonderful, sparkling Drama free day!!!!
(((((( big hug)))))))

March 2, 2005
11:22 am
Avatar
sdesigns
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 30
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Great letter. Hope this purges her from your life forever. I hope she gets the message but these people never seem to. Some day she'll just be a very bad memory. Good luck to you.

March 2, 2005
11:33 am
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I hope though that you really want her gone from your life and not just a reaction. I think the letter is great. I think it clearly states your feelings. You confronted her on her lies without calling her names or anything and that is very admirable.

I hope that this works out for you this time, as last time, it didn't. I cannot believe she has lied so much to you.

I do know how it feels to feel so betrayed, and I know that you are a strong person that you can get through this if you try hard enough.

You can do it will.

March 2, 2005
12:05 pm
Avatar
willitgetbetter
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thanks Guys, I really appreciate your responses.

Camer: It wasn't just the lying, it was what she lied about as if it was just to inflict more and more pain on me. You know what Camer? I really don't care, (or may never know), if she reads it. It was something I had to do to enable me to move on. I got it off my chest so to speak! I have also done what I said I would..... I have blocked her from MSN and deleted her!

Ren'ai:
I have made mistakes, we all do but yes, when I make a mistake I own up to it. What you say about immaturity is what my daughter says. My daughter has been telling me for a long time to leave her behind and move on because "she is just so immature". By the way my daughter is 20 and my ex is 34!!!!

AW:
Thanks for that. I also hope I don't have to call the authorities but I will if necessary. I've been the victim for far too long and i won't let it happen anymore.

Aces my sweetheart:
we knew it would come to this didn't we? I honestly don't want any reaction at all. i don't even care if she reads the message, i just needed to say it to get closure.

I can't be nasty to her, I can only be honest and state the facts. She obviously has problems but I can't help her with that, God knows i've tried. You are right, last time I was in turmoil and I wanted to think I was over her but I clearly wasn't. This time I am. Yes Aces, I am strong now, stronger than I have ever been. As it happens, things happen for a reason. My business has flourished, (If I hadn't have been sacked i wouldn't have been forced to start up on my own), my relationship with my kids has improved 100% and I found you guys. I should be eternally grateful to [her] because [she] has turned my life around, for the better! Oh yeah, I am sorry SC for giving real names!

Hugs and a huge thanks to you all ((((hugs))))

March 2, 2005
12:14 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Ohh willit, Im so glad about your business. I knew you would do well with it when you tried.

Yes I saw it coming as well, especially after the last time when you wrote it was just sex and fine, I remember because if I remember correctly I did that with my ex, and it was YOU telling me it wouldn't work that way. Ahh hindsight is great isn't it.

I am glad that she will be out of your life. Now you can learn from this and be the type of person you hope to attract, which will be a great wonderful, humourous, caring, loving person.

March 2, 2005
12:21 pm
Avatar
willitgetbetter
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

"Great, wonderful, humourous, caring, loving". Just like you Aces, you have seen me through this and always given me such sensible advice. Thank you.

March 2, 2005
1:31 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Yes, I do believe we attract what we are : ) . Anyways, you have wonderful children and that is also a great accomplishment. I think you discredit yourself way too much.

You are a good person, you have made some mistakes, but that is what we do as humans, make mistakes so we learn and don't do them again.

SOME OF US, the stubborns one, take longer to learn though.

March 3, 2005
8:04 am
Avatar
willitgetbetter
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Ha..... I got an email back from her, in fact two! The first said "Who are you?". The second one said "Sorry about my earlier email, it must have sounded really rude but I really don't know who you are".

Did it bother me? Not in the slightest. Did I respond? No way nor will I. 21 day detox started yesterday!

March 3, 2005
8:28 am
Avatar
CAMER
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 100
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

willing....good luck on your detoxing of HER.....and its funny how she said
"who are you"......kinda stupid on her part!!!

March 3, 2005
9:29 am
Avatar
willitgetbetter
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hey Camer,
Thanks. It made me realise just how stupid and childish she really is. It did make me laugh though, kinda immature I think and what a lucky escape I had!

Forum Timezone: UTC -8

Most Users Ever Online: 247

Currently Online:
50 Guest(s)

Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)

Top Posters:

onedaythiswillpass: 1134

zarathustra: 562

StronginHim77: 453

free: 433

2013ways: 431

curious64: 408

Member Stats:

Guest Posters: 49

Members: 110826

Moderators: 5

Admins: 3

Forum Stats:

Groups: 8

Forums: 74

Topics: 38534

Posts: 714189

Newest Members:

ArthurDazy, izamorfixpiosi, Tesuklot, bujhfifDazy, mariettaze2, Brownsvilledium

Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0

Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer