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A FACE FROM THE DISTANT PASS SERFACES!!
March 27, 2007
11:00 pm
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santino
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Hello all, I just came back from San Francisco, I was on a business trip to Napa (life is good 🙂 ) Some colleagues and I were wine tasting in Napa when I noticed this lady looking at me as if she knew me. Mind you this was the 3rd or 4th winery we had stopped at. She had a slight smile on her face then she turned and walked to what appeared to be her boyfriend or possibly husband. I continued to look at her and then it hit me like a ton of bricks, this was my first love!

I went to college in Sonoma so coming back to Napa/Sonoma was kind of like a homecoming to me, I hadn't been in the area for about 10 years so I didn't expect to see any familiar faces.

But there she was, 10 years later, the first girl I ever loved, and the first girl to ever break my heart. 🙂 I stared and stared hoping to catch her eye again. I told my friends who she was, they encouraged me to go say something, but something prevented me. I don't know what it was. After awhile she and her companion stood up and walked out, as she walked out she took 1 more look over her shoulder and dissapeared into the crowd. It was her. The funny thing is earlier in the day we had some free time so I toured my old stomping grounds of Sonoma for a few hours. I visited my school, my old house, my old job where I met her and I even passed by her house hoping she would pop on out, even if she still lived there. The old memories were back. And here she was feet away from me and I didn't do anything about it.

I'm kicking myself, for so long this girl was a major part in my life, she was my 1st everything. 1st real girlfriend, 1st love and 1st you know what. 🙂 And on she went, I didn't do anything about it, Damn!

March 27, 2007
11:06 pm
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penny lane
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Can you place an ad in the local paper she might read and indicate that you are interested in knowing if her life is good .....just a thought

March 28, 2007
6:46 am
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taj64
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Wow that is like something out of a love story! At a winery, to me romantic place too. This reminds me of the song by James Blunt You're Beautiful cuz there is a line in there about seeing someone you love for a second. Woweeeeee. I think it is good though that you did not talk to her and just saw her. Sometimes words do not need to be spoken and looks say a thousand words. She is obviosuly with someone. No sense in stirring up a conversation that could end in you being hurt. You don't need that right now. But that really is awesome story. It is better to have an old love than never to have had that love. You got over her and you will the pass one. A new love could be on the horizon. I hope so anyway. Have a good day.

March 28, 2007
8:38 am
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Rasputin
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Keeping my fingers corssed for you San! keep us posted in case any this love comes to fruition!LOL

March 28, 2007
10:48 am
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atalose
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Santino,

I am a firm believer in things happen for a reason and work out the way they are meant to be. Your not talking to her allows you to hold onto those beautiful thoughts of your first love. Those thoughts and memories could have been tainted for you by conversation with her. What if she acted as if she didn’t remember you, what if she was rude or couldn’t be bothered talking to you. You still have your wonderful memories of her and your first love, hold them close to your heart.

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

March 28, 2007
11:09 am
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gracenotes
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Oh, I still have memories of my first love, and I still sometimes fantasize what it would have been like if we had married and stayed together. But, I think I just want to keep him as a pleasant memory. We did break up, in fact, I broke it up, and, even though I don't remember the details, there must have been a good reason.

There was something stopping you. Maybe it was a good thing that you you had this gut feeling and felt stopped from talking with her. She did break your heart, right? Maybe she is married. Maybe she just wants to keep the memory. She also could have approached you too but she did walk away. It really is a lovely story though.

March 28, 2007
11:17 am
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santino
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Hello All!!

You know that entire day I was kicking myself about it. But now after reading your posts maybe it was a good thing that I didn't approach her. Like what atalose said, if she had treated me as if she didn't know me or if she was rude, that would have really hurt me, and it would have ruined all the good memories of us.

Hey Taj, funny you mention "you're beautiful, James Blunt" Becuase I was thinking the exact thing when I left the winery, wierd huh?! "we shared a moment that will last till the end" My favorite line of the song. 🙂

March 28, 2007
12:11 pm
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revelation
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Oh Santino....you are such a sensitive soul...please come to Ireland and teach our cold-hearted brutes how to be real men!!!

I think its better that you didn't contact her, that way you still have the good memory not tainted by anything else.

March 28, 2007
1:20 pm
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Rasputin
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ROFLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

March 28, 2007
1:47 pm
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santino
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Rev: Thats funny! 🙂 I'm beginning to think being sensitive is not such a good thing, all it does is make it easy for people to hurt you, I might just have to start getting a little tuffer. 🙂

March 28, 2007
1:53 pm
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taj64
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I love that song so much. There is another song from him equally as moving as that one.

Sometimes I feel a really good connection with you. I love to cook and I love going to a winery. There are not too many in MD. But one I go to every summer and enjoy music and the beautful view. Italy is and has been first on my list to go to foreign country. I would love to see the world, especially with someone. And it is hard cuz I cannot go because of money. But I would appreciate it.

Anyway, think first love stories are so cool. I always ask people how they met. Everyone, well almost everyone, has a first love story.

So how did you meet your first love?

March 28, 2007
2:08 pm
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santino
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Taj: We met at work. I just moved to Sonoma for College, didn't really know anyone so we got to talking one day and she invited me to join her and her friends for a little get together. We didn't hit it off right away, she was involved and I kind of had my eye on another co-worker. As time went by we kind of grew on eachother and eventually fell in love. We were pretty serious until school started then we hardly had time for eachother. Eventually we just grew apart. Then one day she hits me with the break up and I was a mess. That was the firt time I cried in front of a girl. 🙁

It hit me so hard I dropped out of school and came back home. I remember stopping by her house to tell her goodbye. Me leaving took her by surprise, she was speachless. I wished her well and I was gone. Never called, never inquired, just dissapeared. I guess you can say I ran away from my problems.

The story of my life 🙂

You should come out to California, we have some pretty amazing Wineries out here! I can be your tour guide! 🙂 Like you, Italy was always first on my list! Thankfully I have a job where traveling to diffrent places is all paid for. Lucky me! 🙂

March 28, 2007
7:10 pm
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Rasputin
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San...Please don't change and become more tough. Many women like soft and romantic guys. Be proud of your tender and sensitive personality! Keep up that romantic personality!!!

March 29, 2007
1:57 am
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dustpuff
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santino~
I have seen you on this site many times. I know you as a man you are a rare jewel with all of us raging women.

I went on my space today and found one of my first boyfriends. He was so sweet but even then at the age of 14 was addicted to marijuana and alcohol. I wonder did this set me up for my life to come? Anyway, he had been clean and sober since that young age. He is now married, has children and led a great life. One I wish I would have led. I wrote him. I just wonder how it will turn out. I am so happy for him and his life. I guess I just hope the ghost from the past will be a help for me in my lonely journey to me. He used to adore me and I need to hear from people like him who adored me. I haven't had that feeling in such a long time. Not that I want to rekindle something...no like I said he is married and has a great life. I sure could use a friend though that knew me in my glory!

March 29, 2007
4:36 pm
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Honolulugal
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Me, too, dustpuff!

So amazing that so many of us dig the same music, huh?

H.

March 29, 2007
5:08 pm
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taj64
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You know you are nice guy and a lot like some of women who vent here. WHich is why there are so few men like you cuz none of those men WE deal with would ever think of coming on to a place to talk about what is happening in their heart. Maybe you could teach us how to be attracted. huh? Yep men are from Mars and women venus.

March 29, 2007
6:42 pm
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revelation
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Santino, about being sensitive, yeh perhaps it does mean that you get hurt more, but I truly believe that at the end of the day, its the guys like you who'll come out on top. Its the guys like you who'll end up with the best relationship. You just have to learn how to be more choosy in who you give your heart to. This sensitivity is a rare gift, instead of seeing it as a hinderence, you should be seeing it as that extra bonus that "the one" will get, when she finds you. You shouldn't feel that you need to go searching for "the one" she'll find you and she'll say to herself "I am hanging on to this guy!!!"

Rev.

March 29, 2007
8:35 pm
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santino
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Rev: Thanks, yeah you're right. I just have to be patient and wait. I never really was a patient person. 🙂

April 3, 2007
9:37 pm
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taj64
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waz up? Where ya been? What does a girl have to do to get your attention? Patience is a virtue. How is your patience doing these days?

Calling all Santinos!

I wanted to shout a hello to you.

April 3, 2007
10:22 pm
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santino
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Taj: Hey there friend!! Nothin much to report just hangin in there. How have you been hot stuff?! 🙂 Breakin hearts are yeah! 🙂

April 4, 2007
6:44 am
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taj64
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Hi. You travel the world and now nothing to report. It is spring now. Surely you must have loads on your mind.

I bought some new clothes last night and took down my summer clothes and was trying on clothes and deciding which ones to toss and which ones don't fit and which ones are out of style. I make a night of it, have some drinks and have my stereo on and have a clothes session, like in Pretty Woman scene. It was "me" night and alone night.

I have not broken any hearts though. I did run into that jerk on Sunday, the dinner date gone bad date. We were heading towards each other and obvious and no way to get around seeing each other. I just walked right on by him a quick look like I was not happy to see him and nothing. Then last night as I was leaving the player guard at my job who asked me out and then never called me again keeps trying to overly polite to me and on my way out says to me will you be in tomorrow and for past several weeks he says pleasantries to me and I swing by and not say anything. A couple of time I have seen two different girls leaning over to talk to him. Blah!! I should know better but he was new to me and he caught my attention by trying to catch my attention. Anyway he said something about will I be around tomorrow and I said of course I will, I work here every day. Yeah I was a bit of a smart ass but I want to send him message that Im not playing his game. And since he asked for my number two times, I don't want him now. I have to admit he is awfully cute though but you cant always go by looks, and I have learned that lesson many many times.

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