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A child's voice
November 13, 2002
11:46 am
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syqg
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I am only a child. I was meant to be here. I can't help it if my parents couldn't work their relationship out. I was not the thing that tore them apart and most likely won't be the thing that brings them back together. I am just as stressed out in my life. I need space too. Sometimes I need time alone with my parent. Sometimes I just need time without worrying if it is causing problems in their lives. I do have feelings. I do sense things going on. I do when someone wants me there and when they do not. Me and my parent/mother/dad need time to adjust to the divorce and different living arrangements. Do you think it is fun for me to "visit" my own father? Do you think it is fun to be in a home that I know despises my own mother? I have feelings. Don't you see me cry at sad movies? Don't you see me cry when I have to leave? I don't know how to talk about my feelings, but I have them. I miss my daddy. I miss feeling safe. I miss having only one place to call home. I now feel like "just an intruder". I have new person with dad to meet, new person with mom........and don't know if I even like them or not......doesn't it matter how I feel about them? I now have "new rules" to listen to......I'm scared. I now have four grown ups to please.......compared to the two I had before. I am a little nuisance......will they leave me too? Divorce me maybe? Is this going to last? Is this woman/man of my dad's/mom's going to like me? Are they going to stay my friend? Why didn't they ever call me after they moved out from my dad's? Didn't they like me? I thought we laughed at the fair that time, I colored them pretty pictures, I combed her hair one time, I gave her medicine when she was sick, is this what people do when they have a little fight.....leave eachother? Are we suppose to stay in touch? I am just a little nuisance. I am a child's voice.

November 13, 2002
3:24 pm
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gingerleigh
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A nurturing parent's voice, in response to the child's voice... suspend your disbelief for a moment, I'm trying to lend some surrogate mom comfort, not play mind games. I'm still gingerleigh, Syqg is still Syqg, but the parent in me is reaching out to the child in her...

"I know it's hard honey, you must feel so alone. You act so strong, and sometimes I forget that your still just a kid, and that it's OK for you to be afraid, and OK for you to be sad, and OK for you to feel angry. Your mom and dad still love you, and what happened between mommy and daddy isn't because of you. Mommy and Daddy are people with fears and saddness, just like you, and sometimes we forget that even though we are hurting, you are hurting too. People say that kids are so strong, but deep inside they hurt, even if they don't want to tell us. I know you hurt, and I'm so sorry.

Daddy's friend loves you, and she didn't *want* to stop talking to you. But she wasn't with Daddy any more, and Daddy thought it was best for her not to talk to you any more. Daddy is your daddy, and although she cares for you very much, she knows that Daddy wants what is best for you. She loved the pictures that you drew, and she still has the picture of you and her and daddy tucked in a special box she keeps under her bed. If Daddy meets a new friend that he wants to build a life with, she wants you to be free to get to know this new friend without worrying about pleasing her too.

Sweetie, you don't have to like everyone, just be yourself. Mommy and Daddy love you for who you are, not because you comb daddy's friend's hair, or because you are extra helpful for mommy when you know she had a bad day. Mommy and Daddy love you because you are special, unique, and precious. You are not a nuisance. Even though Mommy and Daddy aren't together any more, we thank God every day that we met because we were able to have you."

November 13, 2002
3:56 pm
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artist 2
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To the child I live with:

I know honey you are such a tender thing. You are so young and vulnerable. You want things to be happy. You don't want to hear your dad and I discussing and fussing. You want and need nurturing. You want and need comfort and trust in your home.

My sweet child, I do love you and I do understand that you do not know what to do with your feelings. When you act out and are rude and mean, you are just trying to place confused feelings you are having. Those feelings are scary. You are only six. How could you know what to do? You need protection and guidance.

I commit to being a responsible adult for you. I want to love and care for you. I am not your mother, but I can give you the love and caring of a woman.

November 13, 2002
4:50 pm
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syqg
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:o)

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