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37,PREGNANT, upset continued
August 18, 2001
9:44 pm
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pregnopotatoe
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Hi Everyone and thank you for making me laugh at the fact I was sooooooo upset people were staring at me.I guess I just look to good ! lol!
Anyway I had to go to the Dr. and all he could tell me about were all the risks i am taking by having this baby at my age.He kept telling me how I am at HIGH RISKS for having a Downs syndrome baby,or a retarded baby or a baby with Chromosonal defects and that I better have an amniosenteses so we can detect a problem and plan to terminate pregnancy if their is a problem and how my risks are 1 in 130 in this occuring.Geesh,I just feel TERRIBLE NOW.I know Im not 20 or 30 but I feel strong ,healthy, able and I am a strong believer that the Lord wont give me anything I cant handle.I quit smoking,drinking and Partying.I take my prenatal and I eat very healthy.So anyway ,I dont have maternity insurance either so Im paying ALL this out of pocket.Its a heafty swing.The amniothesis is 1500.00 alone.The delivery is 3000.00 and the Hospital is 1700,one night,2200,2 night ,2800 for three nights.The Epideral is 482.oo and the anthesiologists is a 1000.00 for the epideral.Oh and if I need a C section ,lets just add another 5000.00........So,Ladies,tell me some GOOD POSITIVE stories so I can turn my frown back upside down. Thank you ;6) PREGNOPOTATOE

August 18, 2001
9:54 pm
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Katherine
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I believe that if God decides that your baby will be Downs or something along those lines, that it is because He believes you to be the right person to raise one of His special angels. I know I sound like I'm on a soapbox right now, but I work with those kind of kids. They are special, they are angels. If God decides that is right for you, I hope you can see it is a blessing. Ok, off my soapbox now, and I want to say Congradulations!!! I think it is wonderful that you are having a child. Also, most hospitals are very understanding about financial hardship (even if you are not now, I can't imagine that anyone has enough to pay all that out of pocket). Most hospitals will agree to a payment plan...I have a friend with Muscular Dystrophy who has had to have several surgeries and treatments. He is paying $20 a month for over $10,000 worth of services. Good Luck to you!!!
Kate

August 19, 2001
12:26 pm
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Alena
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Potato, glad you're in better spirits, or should I say "was" in better spirits. You know, doctors have to tell you all the dangers, all the side effects,all the risks, mostly to cover their own butts. Since you have access to the internet, I'd search around for some support groups, there are tons of parenting sites I've run across in looking for info. I don't know, today, I don't see how 37 is so old to have a baby..? I just don't. I know others in my own neighborhood who started having their families at 35-40. As far as your risks, have your amniosynthesis, their tests are so much more high tech just in the last couple of years. I suppose it's something you should always be prepared to face, and possibly in your case, a little more thought should be given to that risk, but gosh, I just wouldn't dwell on it. If it happens that a test comes back with bad news, deal with it. Take good care of yourself, as you say you are off to a good start. Get some doctors whom you trust, and call on your faith to help you through the rough spots, do all that you can do, and then let it go. And as far as finances go, would you qualify for help from the system? I don't know where you are, but in Ohio there are a few wonderful hospitals who will do surgeries, procedures, births, all for a pittance or nothing at all if you qualify with a low income. Look into it at your local social services. And then, there is always as Katherine says, payments. You have options on all of your concerns. The good stuff?? Babies are great, at the risk of sounding like a cliche', they are truly gifts from God....no other way to put it. I have two grown sons and I cherish every memory I've had with them throughout the years. They are my very good friends now. They added so much to my life and still do. Pregnancy was great to me, no problems, how about you so far?? I had good pregnancies and good births. So much of it is your attitude too. I hope you'll come to some sort of good feeling and confidence and then just roll with the 9 months. You don't want to miss a good moment of it worrying about stuff of which you have no control...right? Control what you can, then roll with the rest. How's the father on all this? Do you have a supportive group of family and friends at all??

August 20, 2001
1:14 pm
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gingerleigh
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My one of my best girlfriends had her third child at age 41 and her fourth at age 43, and both of them are gorgeous, smart, creative, and darling... notice that retarded is not on the list.

Docs have to tell you all the risks. A 1 in 130 chance, huh? Picture this though, if you put 129 red balls in a bucket and 1 green one, honestly, what is the likelihood that you will pick the green ball? Very *very* slim chance.

*hug*

August 20, 2001
4:03 pm
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Kay33
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I know several people whom have had children after age 40. Their babies were perfectly healthy! 🙂

August 20, 2001
6:09 pm
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janes
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Ditto to the healthy baby after 40--grew up with two of them.

Lots of women have babies at your age these days...

Are you in the states? If you are then IF (and that is a BIG if) your child has a handicap it will be more work for you of course but all special education services are free through all public school system from age three to age 21.

And if you live in MIchigan it's free services from birth to age 26.

This includes speech therapy occupational therapy and physial therapy if needed.

Never look a gift baby in the mouth or you might spy the teenager lurking in there.

I know plenty of normal kids who are royally screwed up and it had little to do with the mothers age.

Keep exercising through pregnancy if you can and the birth will be easier...

I had my last one without the benefit of an epidural and although it hurt like hell I lived through it fine.

Like the folks said above...the doc has to tell you all the risks...

August 20, 2001
6:53 pm
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jilted
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A girlfriend of mine had a baby at 41, she had all the tests and the baby was perfect. I'm 35 and expecting, i'm going to have the test too, there is one you need to have at 17 weeks I'm not sure what it's called but they put a needle through your abdomin. Apparently it doesn't hurt. I'm on my own through all this with my 14 year old daughter, my husbsnd left me after being married only 2 months. He doesn't know yet and I'm not sure whether I'll tell him he went home to live with his mother and as far as I'm concerned he missed out on a wife and child. So head up high girl and enjoy what's ahead you may never get another chance at having another baby.

August 24, 2001
3:43 pm
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Molly
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Ok, my girls are 23, and 21, and damn near perfect in every way, doesn't mean they don't disapoint me sometimes, but would I have traded the opportunity to feel life, to experience the joy, the pain too? Never in a million years. Expense, you aint seen nothing yet, oh, this was supposed to be positive huh, I would definately check out the alternative birthing methods, my niece had her daughter under water, and a friend of mine used a birthing chair, trust me both of these made to much sense, after going through both of the traditional labors.
Just think, if your church going, only time some one gives you a seat is when your pregnant, only way to pass the line to get to a toilet is when your pregnant, the only time you can eat what ever is supposed to be when your pregnant, and thank
God they now have deceant clothes, ah, hell all those statistics tell them to jump in a lake. keep up with the exercise, that is a really big bonus when its all over and done with, damn, wish I could do it, really.

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