Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In
Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
The forums are currently locked and only available for read only access
sp_TopicIcon
2BHAPPY'S RELATIONSHIP
July 24, 2009
2:25 pm
Avatar
CAMER
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 100
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

hi Hep & 2b....yeah, he still hasn't called. I am feeling for you 2b, i know each day that goes on may seem harder, cuz you haven't spoke, but it does also say alot about HoneyD the longer he keeps this "ignoring you" deal going on.

I am glad you have family functions this weekend, keep the chin up, enjoy the company & know that you are doing great, you are not trying to make things happen and force things to happen with Honey D, you are just "being"...and that is good.

And yes! glad that you most likely have a rental on your place, Excellent!! thats all i can say is excellent!!!

(((((huge, big hugs your way)))))

July 24, 2009
2:41 pm
Avatar
lovin life
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

personally i wouldn't let that guy hear my voice ever again.

why give him an opportunity to lump you into the same category as the other women from previous relationships? nothing you can say will convince him that you are the better person (which you are) and that he is an insenstive, controlling clod (which he is).

put him on permanent mute 🙂

July 24, 2009
3:11 pm
Avatar
2BHAPPY
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 41
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Yes its getting hard now. Wish I had answered the phone on Wednesday...and I do have abandonement issues and I hope they dont come to the surface.

But I have to think that this is only for the best and the longer he takes to call..the better I will feel about ending it.

I know that in his mind I did something wrong...but he could at least try and talk about it and let me know how he feels. I know he is waiting for me to call..but that would be admitting he was right and I am not doing that.

Maybe in about another week I will call him if he hasnt called or text him. I dont know what I want to do anymore. I am starting to miss him.

But one thing for sure..if we dont get back together then its for the best and I can look back and say "thank God that is over".

I was even thinking that if he insist on continuing with the relationship to go for counseling. I know that he is a good man..but he has these controlling issues. He was a big shot with the police dept. so he is used to being like this..Used to having people answer to him. Cops are controlling and I should have had that in mind...especially one who was over other cops.

 

 

2bHappy

July 24, 2009
6:21 pm
Avatar
2BHAPPY
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 41
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Now its affecting me.. I cant stand to wait and not put closure.

Just wish I had answered the phone last Wed. I know it was him.

 

 

2bHappy

July 24, 2009
7:18 pm
Avatar
CAMER
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 100
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

2b, sometimes we can't control things, and its good not to control things....let them happen naturally.....now if HoneyD wants to get in touch with you...HE will, on his own terms.

Again, if you need to get that closure and call him, then do it.

I think you are driving yourself crazy, thinking of "it was him who called" and what not.

do what you have to...and for all the right reasons.

July 24, 2009
7:39 pm
Avatar
2BHAPPY
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 41
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thanks Camer.

I'll be alright..just feelings are coming and going...

Today would be the day that we would meet for our date.

Thats why I am feeling this way.

 

 

2bHappy

July 25, 2009
10:13 am
Avatar
CAMER
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 100
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

hoping your night went ok, and I truely hope you are feeling alright, so much going on. I am glad you get to spend the next couple days with the family.

((((huge hugs your way, my friend)))))

July 25, 2009
11:26 am
Avatar
2BHAPPY
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 41
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I am feeling ok this morning. I would usually wake up at his house on Sat. morning...so I guess its peaceful...no rushing to do something..no argumentative dialogue while reading and watching the news.

I think this is all good...Its just a process and sad feelings about being alone..but I know that if I wanted a relationship that bad..I could go and look into the 70 yr olds and find the same. Men who are just sitting at home waiting to die (at least most)..there is no excitement and nothing to look forward to.

He has conditioned his mind to not need anything...modern technology is of no interest to him..nothing digital. His alarm clock is from back in the 80's. His excuse was always...I dont need it..so why buy it. Even if his back and neck were hurting and he needed a mattress..he still felt he didnt need it. I dont know if he's decided to go out and buy one now..because his neck was really bothering him. Hope he can put 2 and 2 together.

I know that he will never find anyone as good and loving to him as I was. All I really wanted was to find love and be happy sharing my life with someone. I wanted to feel special to someone.

But all he could do was nick pick at everything I did. I was late (not because I was home doing nothing) but because I was in traffic. yes, I didnt answer the text last Sat..but I just thought it was a stupid question and if he really wanted the answer..why not take a second and call....So I stayed at the party a little longer..so what I was having a good time and a I deserved it...it was better than going to his house for the night and sit in front of the TV...and I didnt introduce him as my boyfriend..but a boyfriend is one who supports you, helps you when things arent going smooth in your life ..not add any more stress to it like he did...besides at out ages..he should have been talking about a future if there was one...otherwise someone like that is a date. I was a girlfriend to him..I was there for him when he went to the hospital..I helped him through the difficult few days after the surgery and didnt add any more stress to his life.

Now he will have no one..No one will put up with his cheapness, his argumentative side, rigidness, this constant need to take care of his daughter and leave all his money to his daughter at the expense of not living life....leaving just on necessities. Now things are worse for him because after his surgery..he is not impotent and he doesnt know whether he will ever regain his abilities. But maybe he will condition himself to not have that need anymore either like he has conditioned to not need anything else.

I know that he is also hurt because he does like me in his own way. He did like my companionship, the going out to dinner a few times a week, sitting watching TV, and the couple of times we went away for the weekend and of course our hikes. I know his friends and family thought the world of me....but he should know how to treat a good woman and never let her go. Even though he tried a few times...he would go back to his old ways...He acts like an OLD MAN and I dont consider myself an old woman yet. I have a lot to enjoy in life..a lot to do.

Just venting today.

 

 

2bHappy

July 25, 2009
11:43 am
Avatar
It No Longer Matters
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 72
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

2B. Good for you. I am an only child and I like to tell people that 'being of sound mind' my father spent it all. I got 6K in life insurance and his house that I let go back to the bank. But you know what? I'm not the one who worked 12 and 16 hour days, ruined my back and knees. He did. His daughter should want him to enjoy life as well. I am thankful that my father married my stepmother. She is really all I have left except for my daughter and ex husband. I just got off te phone with her son who calls be baby (because I am now the youngest of the 4 and ends every conversation with I love you

Bitsy

July 25, 2009
12:20 pm
Avatar
2BHAPPY
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 41
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thank you Bitsy. I dont blame his daughter..She has been very sweet to me and has never said anything rude to me. As a matter of fact on father's day her father was acting rude..and she got upset and just said my father is acting up. Last week I went to her place of work with her father (he feels the need to go visit her at the store where she works just about every day) and she gave me a couple of nice tshirts. I picked the shirts and was ready to pay and she insisted that was going to pay it out of her own and that she would get a nice discount too. I will miss her and his father..they were both so sweet to me always.

 

 

2bHappy

July 25, 2009
12:25 pm
Avatar
2BHAPPY
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 41
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

And Bitsy...everyone wants him to enjoy life as well..its him that insist otherwise...He has conditioned himself not to want things or do things.. A lot of times he will say he is going to buy something and do something..but he doesnt go through them. When I met him, he wanted to buy a Convette..but then he rationalized it and decided not to..Lately we had been looking at places close to the beach and he tells me how much he wants to buy one..but nothing.

 

 

2bHappy

July 25, 2009
1:34 pm
Avatar
CAMER
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 100
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

i'm glad you can talk about your feelings here 2b, its good to get things out...someday you can look back at this thread...not sure when/if HoneyD will pick up the phone and call....but sometimes life throws us curves. So far you seem to be doing ok, just take things hour by hour.

(((camer)))

July 25, 2009
4:10 pm
Avatar
2BHAPPY
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 41
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thanks Camer..for being a listening ear.

I will continue to post my feelings and eventually I know that things will work out the way they should. Right now I cant continue with the kind of relationship I was having. He is a very loving man and everything seems to go well until I do something.

One thing I remember him telling me was that he didnt like to be with very attractive women because he didnt want men looking at them and making passes at them. I am considered fairly attractive for my age..have a DD bust and the 20 or so lbs that I have extra just makes me voluptious(sp)...I also have a very outgoing friendly personality and that was also a problem because I am very easy to talk to..heck I am have a business so I have to have a certain personality in order to keep my customers. When he introduced me to his brother in law last month he made a comment and asked him if I had a sister.

I know things will work out the way they should..just have to go through this right now. I deserve better treatment. I was a loyal, considerate and caring girlfriend and I deserve to be treated well. If he doesnt its because he doesnt love me enough to go the extra mile.

 

 

2bHappy

July 26, 2009
10:10 am
Avatar
MsGuided
Golden Horseshoe.ca
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 104
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Eesh ((2B))The more you write about this man's character the more he gives me the creeps.

Don't ya think you're lamenting what could of been, possibilities, rather than the reality.

Sounds like you both came together out of loneliness, rather than something positive.
If you want to change eachother that much is it really worth it?

I don't think you need to change much in terms of character & attitude.

You don't need to settle for this clod_hopper ( haha lovinlife)

What's stopping you from creating closure yourself? Why wait for him?

You said" "I was a loyal, considerate and caring girlfriend and I deserve to be treated well. If he doesnt its because he doesnt love me enough to go the extra mile."

There's your answer. You'll be ok after the grieving has passed.

July 26, 2009
10:16 am
Avatar
CAMER
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 100
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

((2b)) well, i does sound like HoneyD was very insecure. And maybe at times he may have felt "threatened" by you and your beauty, cuz he doesn't like "other men" checking his hot chick out. That's all his issue, he should be more secure in himself.

Just keep thinking of YOU and what a wonderful beautiful woman you are, who the heck knows what HoneyD is thinking or what not. Know you gave this relationship your all, and then some.

Keep posting, ok!

(((((camer)))))

July 27, 2009
1:05 pm
Avatar
CAMER
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 100
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

2b...has he still NOT called yet?? and how are you doing today???

July 27, 2009
1:10 pm
Avatar
2BHAPPY
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 41
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

good morning Camer...yes he did finally called. He was having a really bad jealous episode..Dont have much time to write about it right now as I am at work. Basically that party brought out all his insecurities..and he did tried to call me a few times during the week. Now he is doing everything to make up for it and I dont know what to do.

Today he is at my rental doing all the handyman's work.

I have so much to do that I cant even think about him and our relationship right now.

 

 

2bHappy

July 27, 2009
1:53 pm
Avatar
atalose
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 18
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

2B,

I am glad he finally called yet I am worried that you are right back to where you were before the party even started!!

A word of caution, jealousy is NOT LOVE and top that with all the rest of your displeasure about this man and his rigid life, it’s not going to change.

He has shown you who he is and if you can life happily with all of that then the best to you but we all have listened and heard you, and you can’t live with his life style.

All that silence followed by a phone call that has now lead to him doing handy man stuff at your rental, that about says it all. You are right back into this dysfunctional un-happy relationship with a man who is never going to change who he is and a man you cannot accept for who he is. So what’s going on in you besides feeling lonely, that would make you get right back on the horse that threw you?

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

July 27, 2009
3:09 pm
Avatar
CAMER
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 100
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

i agree Atalose...2b, my thinking is you may go back to him or will, cuz of loneliness, or cuz of possibly starting the dating scene again with someone new???

Well, honeyD may be good and take care of all your needs NOW or for the next week or month or two...but what happens when the next party comes up??? jealousy?? what if you want to stay long at the party???

alot to think of.....one thing i like doing is "re reading" all my old posts, to see my feelings at the time.

((((hugs to you)))) camer

July 28, 2009
3:56 am
Avatar
courage to change
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi 2B

Relationships are difficult, and its so easy for each one of use to give you support, and advise.

But the hardest thing for each of us, is to use that advise on ourselves.

Even Im guilty of it.

Just to let you know, that know matter where you are at and how many times you go through this, you will keep getting the support you need from all these lovely people.

Everyones heart is with you.

I hope you find the answer that is right for you.

xxx

July 28, 2009
5:17 pm
Avatar
2BHAPPY
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 41
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thank you all for your support. I have been so busy with getting the rental house ready for this 1st of August..that havent had much time to post or think about much. Last night I was so stressed out that I went and had 2 margaritas and got drunk. There was so much more work to be done on the rental and I am thankful that Honey D is helping out because I wouldnt have been able to do it alone. He is now at the house doing some of the work and supervising people that are working there. I was having a real hard time trying to juggle both work and rental house restoration and being upset at my last tenant (extremely upset) and having this breakup that I couldnt even focus on anything.

I dont know what will happen in the future..but for now I really needed to get emotionally better so that I could deal with all that is going on. He has been a lot of help.

 

 

2bHappy

July 28, 2009
10:07 pm
Avatar
CAMER
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 100
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

lets say Yay for the Margaritas!!! and ouch, for you getting drunk, then again, maybe you had fun with a buzz going on!!

And yes, no one knows what will happen in the future, and you are aware of Honey D's behaviors.....just keep your eyes open and see what happens.....and I mean that in the best possible way, not to come off as being harsh.

(((camer))))

July 29, 2009
10:32 am
Avatar
atalose
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 18
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

2B,

Why you lush you!!! LOL

I think it’s nice that Honey D is helping out, I’m sure that makes you more at ease all around.

Once all the dust settles and your tenants move in I think you’ll be in a more stable emotional state to evaluate other things and see where you feel that lies.

Just wanted you to know I was thinking of you and hope all goes well with the rental and renters!!!

((2B))

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

July 29, 2009
12:54 pm
Avatar
2BHAPPY
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 41
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thanks for your support all of you.

The house is almost finished..I spent a few thousand dollars trying to get it cleaned up and its finally done. I have a renter moving in this Sat. and hopefully once I recover all that I have lost..then I can figure things out. I still need to take my tenant to small claims so it will be an ongoing stress for me..usually I let things go and go on..but this tenant really wanted to really screw me up by damaging my home..and its not fair for any other landlord that may come his way. Very irresponsible man..now I've learned that they used to have a lot of people over and smoke pot all over the place.

 

 

2bHappy

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
24
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 111162
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38716
Posts: 714574
Newest Members:
AndrinNetzer, MaarcusPedersen, MarcusPedersen, eyeconcepts, junwork52, whitedental
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2021 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information