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1st timer seeking help
October 5, 2008
5:20 pm
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Brasilcali
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September 24, 2010
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Brasilcali
5-Oct-08

Hello to everyone. This is my first time on this site. I was doing some research on what may be wrong with me since now I have stopped drinking and all of these feelings are coming to the surface.

I just left my girlfriend of 4 years (off and on) and we have a 2 year old daughter together. It's been about 2 weeks but I could no longer handle having to fix all of her problems and not receiving the affection I needed, amongst other things. The one thing I relate to here is the struggle to go back to her for the "quick fix."

I also feel like there will be no one out there for me. I'm looking back at my childhood, and it probably was not the most nurturing and I basically just started talking to my father a little bit since I was 2 when he left and am now 39. I guess I have the abandoment symptom.

Maybe someone has some good insight. Thank you for listening, Brasilcali

October 5, 2008
6:18 pm
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fantas
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Brasilcali,

Welcome to the site and you aren't alone. Many of us here know exactly what you are going through. It's normal that you would feel your feelings when you stop drinking because you are no longer medicating and numbing yourself. This is a good thing because you now have the opportunity to really heal your abandonment wound which you incurred as a child. Have you read the book Codependent No More? This would be a great book for you at this time. Also, I would recommend that you go to AA and go through the steps with a sponsor. You could also consider therapy. All the best to you and keep posting and reading the posts here.

October 5, 2008
6:33 pm
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Brasilcali
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Thank you fantas for your insight. I have seen some mention of the book you recommended and will look for it. I have also been the other things you mentioned. I guess it's just hard to have to start really dealing with these issues now and just wanting things to normalize themselves as soon as possible.
Take care

October 5, 2008
6:56 pm
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lostagain27
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Hi Brasil

welcome! Keep researching. Get the book that fantas recommended and keep doing what you are doing. Yes it is hard dealing with issues up front and not hiding from them anymore. It is hard. I believe we all want that quick fix but it takes work to get through it. Just know there are so many people who are like you and have done the work and now lead happy lives. I wish you luck my friend and keep posting!!!

Lost

October 5, 2008
8:29 pm
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Brasilcali
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Thank you Lost for your words of encouragement.

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