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18 Year old...need help and adivce!
January 10, 2001
12:36 am
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XFile102082
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Hello,
I am 18 years old and have recently moved back in with my mom. My dad was very sloppy in lifestyle and my mom is complete opposite, which is why I wanted to come back. Tonight my mother and I got into a fight, about her house being sloppy. When I told her that half of the stuff was equally hers and that me and my younger sisters are not to blame, she almost beat me with a hanger. She says I said it to her in a snotty smart-ass attitude, which I agree I may have, only because I was confronted by a yelling force. I told her that we need help and need to see a counseler. She says, "NO, I WANT MY HOUSE CLEANED!" I then explain that I will at least go talk to one for my own well-being but then get threatened to get kicked out of the house. Please, someone help me. I am in a very weird mood and don't know what I am going to do...I am literally crying right now and haev no self control for myself...this is too much for me to handle. Like I said, I am forbiddon to go seek help. So I ask, any adive would be wonderful. If you want, my email is [email protected]

Thanks,
Matt

January 10, 2001
7:33 am
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janes
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Matt...step back take a look...

You may be upest, and hae a right to be but you ARE in control...at least of your self. You didn't strike back. Loud words may have been exchanged...but you now have a focus you didn't have before.

I am not your mom but as A mom I can say that sometimes the number of socks laying on the living room floor, the dirty dishes that haven't been taken to the sink... dishes left dirty tow or three days unless I do them, mounds of laundry to wash dry fold and put away and 43 kids, a husband and 2 parents that sit around more than I do..and I am working two jobs...

It can be extremely frustrating. Sometimes we do and say things that even as we do and say them we KNOW it isn't right or even healthy.

Maybe half the mess IS hers. Maybe you and your mom need to sit down when you are both calm and talk about a chores list. Inluce your sisters.

Having a clean house may be the only thing your mom feels she can control right now. We women mistakenly think that how our house looks really reflects on us personally.

And if you moved home because your mom's house is cleaner....don't be part of the mess.

Make sure YOUR stuff is taken care of.

Remind your sisters to pick up and put away their things.

When your mom is calm...try to talk again about counseling...and don't make it sound like SHE is the only one needing it.!

You knew enough to seek help.

Are you finished with school?

There are little things you can do to help your self and help mom.

keep us posted.

January 10, 2001
1:28 pm
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XFile102082
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Well, its about noon and my mother will be home in about 3 hours. I have taken my hour off of school to cleaning the house. I have the kitchen left but other than that, it is looking really nice. I hope she comes home and a smile forms on her face. Wish me luck.

Matt

January 10, 2001
4:08 pm
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Molly
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Comming home to a place or scene where people have put effort in our direction is certain to put a smile on her face for a while. don't forget mom's are human too, which is what I believe Jane's was trying to point out. There are lots of stressors, where you and your siblings may be the current sounding board. I suggest that you step outside of the drama. Take care of your responsibilities are, and if she explodes, just state that you love her she must have had a hard day, and suggest that you draw her a bath with a candle in the room lit for her. Tell her that mom's day shouldn't be once a year, but once a week, and from now on Wednesday is it, cook dinner, and create a serene place for her to come home at least one day a week. A little effort can go a long way in soul healing. It is so hard to be a single mother, the financial, emotional and stress from not having a partner is hard, and not things that a mom can openly discuss, so we often explode over socks. Get it??????

January 25, 2001
6:01 pm
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aoli
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you have to talk to your mother (first of all)
try to speak to your friends more and more ,take a ride with them ,listen some music and try not to involve so much in this fight.You should try to understand your mother( as much as you can)
if you can't handle it,look for a job and move somewhere else
You are so young,and you are not the only one with such problems

After an year you will forget about them
Now go out and KEEP ON ROLLING!

January 30, 2001
10:42 am
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Sensational A Manger
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TAKE DDEP BREATHS AND CALM DOWN
DO NOT MAKE HASTY DECISIONS you may regret later in life

February 4, 2001
2:11 am
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Rhonnie
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Hey Matt!
It's tough being a parent these days!!!With all the demands we have on us, from work and home, we get pretty stressed ourselves. As a mom, I want my home clean not only for myself, but for my family also. It's hard keeping a clean house without help, and sometimes we feel a bit unappreciated and disrespected when we don't get help from the rest of the household!! Just be helpful by pulling your own weight, and let mom know you appreciate her, and I think things may run a little smoother! Take care.

February 4, 2001
2:11 am
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Rhonnie
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Hey Matt!
It's tough being a parent these days!!!With all the demands we have on us, from work and home, we get pretty stressed ourselves. As a mom, I want my home clean not only for myself, but for my family also. It's hard keeping a clean house without help, and sometimes we feel a bit unappreciated and disrespected when we don't get help from the rest of the household!! Just be helpful by pulling your own weight, and let mom know you appreciate her, and I think things may run a little smoother! Take care.

February 4, 2001
2:11 am
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Rhonnie
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Hey Matt!
It's tough being a parent these days!!!With all the demands we have on us, from work and home, we get pretty stressed ourselves. As a mom, I want my home clean not only for myself, but for my family also. It's hard keeping a clean house without help, and sometimes we feel a bit unappreciated and disrespected when we don't get help from the rest of the household!! Just be helpful by pulling your own weight, and let mom know you appreciate her, and I think things may run a little smoother! Take care.

February 4, 2001
2:11 am
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Rhonnie
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Hey Matt!
It's tough being a parent these days!!!With all the demands we have on us, from work and home, we get pretty stressed ourselves. As a mom, I want my home clean not only for myself, but for my family also. It's hard keeping a clean house without help, and sometimes we feel a bit unappreciated and disrespected when we don't get help from the rest of the household!! Just be helpful by pulling your own weight, and let mom know you appreciate her, and I think things may run a little smoother! Take care.

February 4, 2001
2:27 am
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Rhonnie
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Hey Matt!
It's tough being a parent these days!!!With all the demands we have on us, from work and home, we get pretty stressed ourselves. As a mom, I want my home clean not only for myself, but for my family also. It's hard keeping a clean house without help, and sometimes we feel a bit unappreciated and disrespected when we don't get help from the rest of the household!! Just be helpful by pulling your own weight, and let mom know you appreciate her, and I think things may run a little smoother! Take care.

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