Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In
Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
The forums are currently locked and only available for read only access
sp_TopicIcon
12/22: Girlfriend's Ex-boyfriend: The Revelation
December 23, 2003
12:10 am
Avatar
bigdumbguy
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I feel like I am writing a new chapter in a book with all of these updates and subject headings. Anyway, there was a major thing that happened the other night that I thought you all would like to hear.

On Thursday the 18th my gf got the idea to spend the night at her sister's house. Well her sister just had a baby about 2 months ago and my gf had not got to spend a whole lot of time with her, so she thought this would be a good idea. She asked me to spend that night with her and her sister did not have any objection to this at all. Well she was going to bring the 7 year old, but her mother said that she would watch the 7 year old while we went, so good for us?

Well we spent time with her sister, husband, and the 9 year old and the newborn. About 10:00 we decided to head for bed. She also wanted to go over to her sister's house so that her and I could be alone. Her and I had not had much time by ourselves. So we get into bed and we are both lying down. I rub on her back and her shoulders for about 15 minutes. She acted like I wasn't even there, but I kept doing it anyway so I'd get a response. Finally I just quit rubbing her back and turned over. She then nuzzled up against me and I put my arm around her. Well we started to kiss a little bit. We started to kiss a little passionately, but then she stopped right then and there. I tryed again and she rejected me. I asked her what was wrong and she said nothing. We went on about this again for about 10 minutes, finally with tears in her eyes, she says

"Honey, I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel like the whole world is falling on me and I don't know what to do about it. I feel like I'm heading for a breakdown. I think I need help."

Now my gf is 24 years old. She is going to school full time, works 2 nights a week, goes to church Wednesday and Sunday, has no money whatsoever, her mother and stepfather give her a hard time constantly, she is stressed out over school, family, money, her child, me, and everything else.

We talked for a long time and she said things like...

"I love you so much, but there are times that I feel like treating everyone in the world like crap including you."

"Don't leave me."

"If you left me my world would fall apart."

"I feel like screaming."

"I don't know what to do about myself."

We talked about things and I suggested couples counseling. She liked the idea, but goes "well when would I have time to do it." I told her we would make time. Then she said something about a counselor at her school may be able to recommend her to someone. I made her promise me that when she goes back to school after new years that she would make a trip to the counselor's office.

She went to sleep about 30 minutes later. I was up til about 2:00 in the morning thinking about things. I wondered what I had done wrong. She had told me over and over again that I was the great thing in her life and there was nothing that I could do for her, but I was not bringing her life down in anyway. I was the sunshine.

Comments?

December 23, 2003
2:09 am
Avatar
gingerleigh
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

She has a lot going on in her life, and the holidays makes everyone go a little more nuts. All kinds of added pressure as late December approaches. Perhaps that is helping to bring things to a head.

I think the counseling will be helpful for her. Perhaps what comes out of it might be as simple as her learning a skill... how to say no. Saying no frees up time in your calendar. Saying no allows you to prioritize and make time for the things that really are important in your life. Saying no is the ultimate liberty.

One thing about her age... she is 24. Not everyone is the same of course, but most people I know go through a major upheaval in personality in the mid twenties. This might be her breakthrough, sinking into her cocoon in preparation for bursting forth in maturity... I've seen it happen with people in my life, lots of friends, even myself. I've looked back on journal entries when I was 24, and I barely recognize myself in them... and that was less than 4 years ago! So, there is hope, so long as you are willing to be patient.

Best wishes to you both.

December 23, 2003
2:38 pm
Avatar
Zinnie
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi Willie,

You are a patient man, I will give you that.

Please insist that until she gets couples counseling you will not go through with a marriage.

Not saying she is a bad person, but she is at the very least an overwhelmed one. Now, she is clinging to you for dear life "don't leave me, what will I do?" But then, I think back to your other issues... she is affectionate only when the other guy is around. Or, you don't know what her mood will be from minute to minute. These are all signs of her being over-wrought. Hopefully through counseling, she can over come these things and you two can move on together.

Z.

December 23, 2003
2:41 pm
Avatar
mj
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi Willie,
Sometimes women just need to cry, vent, rant, rave, and be held. Men don't quite understand this emotional nature of women.

I do the same thing. My honey is learning to just listen and be there to support by listening. Occaisionally, he gives me a hug.
Nature made us emotional. The sooner men accept women are emotional...the easier life will be for men 🙂

Merry Christmas!
Sounds like she loves YOU.

December 23, 2003
2:44 pm
Avatar
mj
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Zinnie...too funny...posting on the same thread at the same time...and different perspectives 🙂

Merry Christmas...Glad you don't have to cook tonight!!!

December 23, 2003
2:47 pm
Avatar
Zinnie
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

MJ... that's what makes this a great place, that we can all look at things differently!

Love you,

Z.

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
42
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 111163
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38716
Posts: 714574
Newest Members:
CaitlynForlong, AndrinNetzer, MaarcusPedersen, MarcusPedersen, eyeconcepts, junwork52
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2021 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information