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August 7, 2000
12:00 pm
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CHAN
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September 30, 2010
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HI THERE
I'M A 21 YEAR OLD FEMALE AND I'M COMPLETELY LOST. I'VE BEEN DAIGNOSED WITH GENERAL ANXIETY DISORDER WITH COMPULSIVE AND DISASOCIATIVE ASPECTS, I JUST DON'T KNOW WHERE OR WHO I AM ANYMORE. I'M SEEING A COUNSELOR BUT HE SEEMS TO BE FOCUSING MORE ON MY CHILDHOOD THEN THE PRESENT DAY. SOMETIMES I'M FINE OTHERS I'M IN BITS, THE PANIC ATTACKS SEEM TO HAVE STOPPED BUT HOW AM I MEANT TO GET BACK TO MYSELF I FEEL LIKE I'M IN A WORLD OF MY OWN AND I CAN'T FIND THE DOOR TO GET OUT. I THINK SUCH WEIRD THINGS SOME OF THE TIME LIKE WHAT'S THE POINT IN US ALL BEING HERE AND THAT THE WORLD LOOKS LIKE A JIGSAW. I THINK I'M GOING MAD. IF I WAS LOOKING AT ME I WOULD SAY JUST SNAP OUT OF IT YOU'VE EVERYTHING GOING FOR YOU BUT THAT JUST DOESN'T SEEM TO WORK I SEE NO LIGHT AT THE END OF THIS TUNNEL AND I'M SO AFRAID I'M GOING TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE LIKE THIS. IF ANYONE OUT THERE COULD HELP OR ON THE RARE CHANCE SOMEONE HAS FELT THIS WAY COULD YOU PLEASE REPLY I'M GOING OUT OF MY MIND WITH WORRY.
CHAN

August 7, 2000
1:12 pm
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Molly
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I think that we have all been there at one time or another. You did not say how old you were, or anything else about your circumstances. Sometimes this feeling is there when the joy seems to be abscent. Life out of balance. Are you tired, stressed, do you exercise, when was the last physical that you had, are you isolated, in a rut,how is your diet, could you be depressed( who isn't sometimes)? Lots of questions I know but I like to look at the whole picture.
I like the fact that your therapist is looking at the child hood, our future I do believe is based on the past, and with insight , just like all my questions, it is part of putting your puzzle together. Be patient, be optimistic, and in the meantime, do things for you, there are enough suggestions on these threads to keep you going, get outside, take a walk, focus on the moment. Write in a journal your feelings and questions for your therapists. Good luck these threads are very supportive

August 8, 2000
12:01 pm
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hazza
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September 24, 2010
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Hi Chan,
I can understand your fears and frustration right now.
I too suffer from anxiety disorders and agoraphobia.
and it is a long road back!
BUT, you are in the worst of it right now and it will get better - you just need to learn how and in my opinion, a psychotherapeutic approach is not enough.

Now sure it is omportant to understand who you are and what your life has made you, but that knowledge alone very rarely leads to a recovery from anxiety disorders on its own.

You also need to learn what to DO to learn to live with the anxiety and panics and LEARN that it is the FEAR of those feelings that MAKE those feelings!

support groups are great, I work closely with a group called First Steps to Freedom - they have a web page, but there are others.

It is a bit like if you break your leg - do you want your doctor to keep on talking about what happened when you broke your leg and how it occured? or do you want to get it put in plaster and someone to show you how to use the crutches until it is healed.

the only way through anxietys are to realise that YOU are the only one who can start your own recovery, you have to do those things youa re scared of, but in little tiny peices so that you gain confidence and dont get freaked out - only you will know what is the right pace for you.
But roughly, if you do something, or go somewhere or whatever and you feel a little uncomfortable, but not totally overwhelmed then that is the right pace for you. If you feel totally relaxed then great, but maybe it is time to increase a little and go that little bit further - and that applys to any phobia from talking to people, spiders whatever.

With me my fear was going outside alone, so I started small, a few steps at first, then a road length and so on - I am still working on it all the time - increaseing my steps!!

work out what things make you anxious, what youa re comfortable with and what youa re not, that is a foundation to build your own recovery plan.
break up the things that you want to be able to do into stages, little steps to get you there and then just work on the first step and don't keep worrying about the next stage, just work on that and take it calmly - you will get there, then when that stage is a cinch, move to the next stage.

a really good book is "self help for your nerves" by Dr Claire Weekes. it is the best I have read and helped me a lot.

there is so much you can do to hasten your own recovery, but the one thing you need to have is patience! if you can feel patience and hope in yourself then things get easier.

tell me more about your anxieties if you like, maybe I can come up with some suggestions! also the First Steps charity that I talked about, runs an internet help group where we all support each other. Worth checking out, it is UK based by we have many americans too.

Peace
Hazza

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