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1 incident
October 13, 2008
1:25 pm
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ni_ki_ta
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Got into physical struggle with partner over cigarette smoking in house and other issues resulted in pushing and with me being choked and threatened. Partner is victim of sexual abuse and felt threatened when confronted. We are currently separated What to do??

October 13, 2008
1:31 pm
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sad sack
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Welcome Nikita,

I am sorry that you had to go through this horrific and freightening experience. I was glad to read that you are currently separated. Please remain that way. No one (regardless of their troubled past) has the right to lay a hand on you.

Please seek out the help of a professional trained in domestic violence and/or support group. You have one life to live and you deserve to be someone who will love and cherish you, not choke and threaten you. That is simply not love.

sad

October 14, 2008
1:53 pm
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StronginHim77
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Physical aggression is NEVER acceptable. NEVER. Stay completely away from this person. He/she is toxic and dangerous. Violent people rarely change, even with therapy. But you CAN get help for yourself, to understand why you would gravitate towards a violent partner.

I hope you are able to do this for yourself. Even ONE incident of violence is unacceptable. There will always be a recurrence. Always. And it gets worse, each time.

- Ma Strong

October 14, 2008
5:34 pm
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Giggles_29
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(((((ni_ki_ta)))))~ I am sorry you are going through this right now, however physical violence is uncalled for! I have to agree with ((Ma Strong)) in that it will happen again, and get worse everytime.

I hope that you can take care of YOU!Have you looked into counseling or violence hotline help?!

October 14, 2008
9:22 pm
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atalose
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Your partner has a horrible past that they are carrying around with them. As sad as it is, that past does not give them ANY RIGHTS to physically attack anyone.

You can’t stay stuck to this person because you feel sorry for them because of their past, and love is just not enough when it comes to physcial violence. This is NOT your issue it is your partners, your partner needs to work on this issue, needs help, professional help.

You need help in understand that love is not enough when it comes to physical abuse. And that your partner needs professional help for those past issues and how they currently handle anger and fear.

I also agree that it’s good you are separated and until both of you receive some kind of professional help I wouldn’t suggest going back or letting yourself feel sorry for your partner and going back before you’ve received some kind of counseling for yourself.

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

October 15, 2008
6:52 am
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fantas
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What to do? Walk and do not look back. It unfortunate that he was abused as a child but this does not excuse his behavior and anyone who is willing to lay his/her hand on you is out of line. IMO, one time is one too many. He is old enough to control his behavior or suffer the consequnces of being out of control. All the best!

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