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What to do about my step parents?
August 26, 2013
6:45 am
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August 26, 2013
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I'm 14, I'm from Poland and I have been living in England for 6 years, my mum has been with my step dad for 7 years and my dad has been with my step mum for 5 years.
My life situation is really complicated, my mother lives in Poland with my step dad and my brother and sister, whom she had with him after she left my dad. My dad and my step mum live in England with me, but my dad has gone to prison in Poland (nothing serious.. Just smuggling people) for a year, he has been in there for nearly 9 months already and in that time, my step mum has become an alcoholic because she is literally obsessed with my dad! She is addicted to him and she can't live without him and she drinks herself till she lands in hospital and I hate it! She has spent all of the money my father left her on alcohol, and we are literally broke! My dad had his friends sell his car and keep the money in a secret place for him so that she won't spend it. My dad has said that he will split up with my step mum when he's out of prison but I'm really worried that he's gonna be lonely once he's without her 🙁 I'm not very close with my father and while he does have a lot of friends, he can't always hang out with them, they have their own lives. I'm just afraid that he'll take my step mum back and she's just gonna cause more problems for us.
Now onto my step dad, I literally loathe him, he is a dick, he always says mean things about my father and I know that my father isn't the greatest man in the world, he has cheated and hit my mum, and she cheated on him with my step dad and he doesn't want to keep in touch with her, but he's my father, and I love him and I will NOT let some lazy, dirty man say over and over again what a bad father he is! Because he's really not!
The other night, my mum and step dad were talking, thinking I couldn't hear them because I had earphones on and was watching a tv show on the computer. When the tv show ended, I didn't take my earphones off and heard every word they were saying!
My dad was going to call my mum because they were to discuss me, as my step mum is an alcoholic, but more on that later, and my step dad was forbidding my mum from talking to him! My mum has usually called my dad mean names and now she started calling him by his name and my step dad was all, "Why do you call him by his name now? Do you still love him?" What the actual f**k.. And my mum was telling him how she's going to tell him about all the stuff I need for school, and my step dad said, "So he doesn't know what to buy his own daughter for school? Can't your daughter tell him in prison herself without the need of him calling you? Can't he tell his woman to go out and buy the clothes and stationary? What kind of a father is he?" I literally burst out crying because my father has reminded ME constantly about uniform and stationary! And doesn't my step dad think that my father has tried to tell my step mum about my needs for school? She was just always too drunk to listen to him! My step dad doesn't know anything on the subject yet he still butts in and it's so annoying and it makes me upset because he isn't a great father himself, he calls his children names and says how he regrets having them!
He also always insults me! So I'm 14 and I can't cook because my father and my step mum never bothered to teach me but during the summer I have been cooking many meals and learning the basics of cooking and I'm not that great, because I'm always scared something's gonna explode, and obviously I still cut vegetables the wrong way, and you'd think he'd be a bit understanding, but no, he told me this a few days ago, "Nobody will ever marry you because I can see by the way you cut potatoes that you will never be able to cook, and a man doesn't marry a woman that can't cook because a woman that can't cook is a disaster. And if you do get married, I feel sorry for your future husband." O.o it was the first fricking time I was cutting potatoes! Seriously, what is his problem. I started crying, and he didn't even apologise! It's been what, nearly a week since that incident and he hasn't said sorry! All he's said is, "Oh I've said too much, I just said what I though, I thought I was doing the right thing by telling the truth." What the hell?! The same day I kept snapping at him and saying mean things to him and guess what he turned the subject to? My father, of course. How my father doesn't love me and what a crap dad he is. He also always makes remarks about my father's age, I get he's old, he's 61, but just because my step dad is 20 years younger than him doesn't make him any better. My dad is fit for his age, he can walk and run normally, he goes on walks and exercises a lot, he's in a great condition, and my step dad is fat and lazy, if there was a fight, my dad would crush him, but according to my step dad, age is the most important thing. He always says how much he hates my dad behind my back, but then to my face, he says, "I have nothing against your dad." Yeah, right.
Also, whenever he mentions me to my brother and my sister, he says step-sister, and always to me about my siblings, "She's your step-sister, he's your step-brother, they're your step-siblings," and he always emphasises the word step, and it just makes me feel unwanted, he seems to always go out of his way to make me feel like I'm not part of their family.
My step dad is seriously such a dickhead and I'm just so sick of him! I'm leaving Poland in 2 days and I'm sooo glad, despite the fact that I will have to face my drunk step mum when I return, I prefer her 1000x more than him!
My mum said she'd always choose me over him, but I've told her repeatedly how much I hate him and she argues with him over the rude stuff he says to me, but I know she's never gonna leave him! I don't wanna come to Poland at Christmas because of him, but I want to come because he will be able to get out of prison for Christmas and stay with my cousin (his niece) and I could spend Christmas with them, and I guess I could stay at my aunt's the rest of the time.
I know I have to talk to my mum about it but I'm scared I'm just gonna cry and nothing's gonna come out!
I just need some advice on what to do about my step parents.. My life is just so bad right now and I need advice... Thanks 🙂

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