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stuck between a rock and hard place
May 7, 2015
12:04 pm
Forum Posts: 5
Member Since:
May 7, 2015
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Ok so here goes: towards the middle of last year a very close older aunt of mine fell ill and she was experiencing some strange symptoms. as time went on my mother her sister chose to bring her up from where she was because she was receiving inadequate medical attention and her condition was worsening ( we are from the us virgin islands). we wound up in the hospital the next day, her body was swelling and she was not eating and was constipated. we weren't expecting the news we received, she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and she was scheduled for an immediate hysterectomy to remove the cyst that had grown. after surgery we received some more bad news the cancer had spread to her other internal organs( stomach, liver, pancreas etc). this was very hard on our family because we are so close. despite this we held strong and did whatever we could to make things semi better for her. my mother took on the responsibility in looking after her24/7,scheduling appointments, feeding bathing etc. my aunt has two full adult children 4 grand kids and 2 great grand kids. her daughter came up but left after a month because she claimed her family needed her... her son came once to see herwhile she was living in fort lauderdale. this was in a 6 month span.. the living situation in which my mother and i are in is basically we are staying with relatives. my mother being ill as well is now having a hard time keeping up with my aunt and its taken a toll on my mother her health has deteriorated tremendously. my mother approached her kids and asked for help in the care of my aunt and was quickly halted with "we have families and cant sacrifice our lifes". this erupted many emotions in my family because this was their mother they were denying. now mind you her son is 40 something his kids are over 18 and don't live with him her daughter has 2 kids in high school and a husband who lives near his mother. finally after threatening her son he finally decided to say fine bring her up to Orlando and get a place with her so i can be closer and take care of her that was 5 months ago and i can count how many times he has seen her (5). my aunt has been in and out of the hospital because the cancer is in its fourth stage and has taken over her body,she has developed sclerosis of the liver, has to have 2 pints of liquid drained from her body every other day and her body continues to swell plus she is put on oxygen every other hour because she cries out screaming she cant breath. my mother just recently got section 8 and it has been tough on both of us because we have been living with relatives my entire life so this was a chance to finally have a place of our own where my mother can be at peace and get better as well(shes had a rough life). im going to school and i work so i do as much as i can with my schedule. my mother has pleaded with her kids to take care of their mother but to no avail. finally last Monday her daughter finally came up after a big altercation that happened at the hospital between my mother and my aunts son he was yelling at my mother telling her she shouldn't have brought her up if she couldn't handle his mother. my mother has done all she could plus more with no source of income and no luck in the health department how can a person look at someone who is visibly sick and say not my problem. my other relatives have banded together in an effort to get them to realize the seriousness of this situation but they seem to carry on with no care. i just need advice on how to go about this i don't want to abandon my aunt but her kids are total pricks and its coming to a point where i have to decide to take my mother out of this situation and move because they are dependent on my mother taking care of my aunt.and i will not stand to have my mother being drained of what she has left. they have put me in a situation where i dont even have a mother because all her life revolves around my aunt and its not fair to her or me. i take care of myself on my own but jeez i would like to enjoy having a mother daughter relationship again ( i say again because i havnt lived with my mom since i was 16 because of some events,im now 20) they got to enjoy their mother why cant i.....i dont want people to think im selfish and only thinking of myself but ive sympathized. i have even tried to rationalized why they are acting this way,maybe they are in denial and dont want to be faced with whats really going on.that their mother is eventually going to pass over this horrific terminal disease but is it fair to weigh their feelings over my mothers and mine?( im sorry for grammar and length)Cry 

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