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Struggling
June 19, 2012
12:20 am
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yanib0927
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June 19, 2012
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I am 20 years old with 3kids by the same guy. The main problem we have is trust issues. I think its because his gf before me cheated on him with all his friends. I have been with this guy for 4years now and hes been accusing me for 2 of them. I feel so hurt when hes constantly calling me a liar or cheater. All I do is stay at home with my 2yr old daughter and 1yr old twin sons. When he isnt with me I text him whenever i get a chance. I barely have time for myself, how could I cheat on him? Im planning on moving out of my familys house but Im afraid his accusations will get worse when I have a place of my own. Please help me figure out how to handle this! Ive been nothing but loyal to him the whole time.

June 19, 2012
1:04 am
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ShiningLight
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Consult a marriage/relationship counselor. That way, you'll be able to figure out what's going on and how to get over with that trust issues. You have to convince your partner to have counseling with you. It's just unfair on your part to be accused that way when in fact you have been a faithful partner to him and dedicating only your time for your kids. After getting some professional advice from your counselor then that's the time you both decide on what's good for your relationship, either you stay or go. It's also best that you and your partner should talk things about what's complicating on your being together and if there's a chance to resolve things out with only the two of you.

June 19, 2012
2:38 am
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onedaythiswillpass
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hate to say it, but it could be that your guy friend is really the cheater and feeling a little guilty so he throws it in your face. Or it could be that he is so insecure from what happened to him in the past that he does not have the capacity to trust ever again, particularly women in general. You could go for counseling but he may not be ready to deal with his issues and it might not solve his problems or yours. The main thing is that you stay true to who you are and be the best Mom you can be. Can I ask why are you not living in your own place? Do you need your parents physical help with your children or do you and your boyfriend/husband have financial constraints? Many times a relationship can be very stressful if their are monetary concerns and particularly when the children are very young. Good luck & remember to hold your head up and focus on what is most important, the three gifts you have been given. Treat them and yourself with respect, love and kindness.

One Day

June 19, 2012
7:34 am
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yanib0927
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June 19, 2012
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Ive tried telling him he needs help && that Im nothing like his last girlfriend ((I heard of her when we went to school && I even knew she was an you-know-what)). He just says he doesnt need help.

We are having money issues. However, I think it is self-esteem issues because everytime I say, "I wish we had a car and house so we could stay together && wouldnt have to ask people for a ride all the time" he says, "Well why dont you find someone who has those things". Or i would joke around and he would say, " Oh. You gonna find someone else thats better than me?". If I wanted someone bettert than him I wouldnt be trying to start a life with him.

Oh yeah. I doubt if hes cheating because hes with me 12-7pm and then goes home and calls me and stays on the phone until 6am. The rest of the time he looks for a job or is spending time with his family.

All I need is for him to stop accusing me because thats just more stress added on to our already stuggling life. But I really dont know what else to say. We were pretty much high school sweethearts. This is the only problem we have ever had and I really dont want to leave after all we been through together.

June 20, 2012
3:50 am
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onedaythiswillpass
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I think it would be great if you had a car and a house especially since you have two little children and you seem like a very devoted Mother and girlfriend. May I ask how long has it been since your partner has not had a job? I think it's really hard to get a job these days. Trying to get a job is like having a full time job!
I hope your troubles settle down and that you guys can be a true family together.

June 20, 2012
5:49 pm
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yanib0927
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Thank you. Hes had one job this year && it didnt last very long. Im hoping all this hard work will pay off...like they say, once youre at the bottom theres only one place you can go and thats up. Im trying to get my life together. I knew it was gonna be hard. Never thought it would be THIS hard. Heh

June 29, 2012
11:10 am
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jordan.s
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I'm sorry to hear about your troubles. There is obviously a lot of variables involved – trust, money, jobs, time, children, etc. Trying to juggle all of these monumental tasks and mend your relationship may seem like a mountain to climb, but it is possible. It seems like trust is the biggest hurdle so perhaps you should start there. I know it seems like you have no time (as if any parent does), but focusing on you and him is just as important as the baby. I'm not saying neglect the baby, but focusing on your wants and needs are just as important to you living a full and healthy life, both financially and personally. With that in mind, I think you should sit down with a family counselor and speak to your problems in a serious environment. Talk about the trust issues, time commitments, how you are different from the other girl and how this all is affecting your self-esteem. The counselor should chime in and talk about his/her experiences with couples such as yours and come up with a plan to slowly bring trust into the relationship and move forward. Nonetheless, it's your decision. I hope this helps and wish you the best.

July 1, 2012
11:38 pm
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yanib0927
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June 19, 2012
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Ok so im back and this hasnt gotten any easier...im leaning towards leaving him...hes never gonna let off the accusations...so...i give up...he can go and call some one else a liar and cheater...im so tired of it that i dont have any reactions to it anymore...i jus calmly answer ALL his stupid stupid questions OVER AND OVER AND OVER again...so fed up...i cant even think of why i stay with him as much anymore...

I have a feeling he thinks this is a joke...i think it amuses him... Like tonight he was asking why i wasnt asleep yet...i told him i was playing the sims2..he asked the same question 4x and asked if i was on a chat site 4x also...i feel like a broken record...i dont dereve this... Now im asking myself wut did i ever see in this guy...like my mom says, you cant fix a guy thats been broken...

Dont get me wrong, i still love him to death...but this part of him has to go..its either that or me because i cant live like this my whole life...

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