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Nearing the end of our rope....
January 3, 2015
1:33 pm
New Member
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
January 3, 2015
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Greetings all, new poster here.

As the title says, my wife and I are nearing the end of our rope. Our daughter (24) suffers (in the truest sense of the word) with depression and has been to several counsellors; the most recent one has been on-going for about 2 years now.

For a while, we thought she was making progress…she's learned to drive, holds a job, and is going back to school to get a better one. Over the past six months, she's become involved with an absolute train-wreck of an individual: he is unemployed, can't hold a job, an alcoholic, a drug abuser etc. but above all, a MASTER manipulator who convinced her that they needed to be together.

They have broken up several times, but each time (thanks to the never-ending connection through social media, texting, etc) he finds a way to get her crawling back to him. Each time they break up, she swears it's for good…but it never is.
The one-hour sessions with the counsellor can't compete with the 24/7 hold that he has on her, again thanks to social media and cell phones.

The most recent episode was on the 28th, just after Christmas and she made a few revelations about how toxic their relationship was (he was smoking crack in our basement!) and we were hopeful that this was the last straw – that she would FINALLY break the cycle.

Of course, it isn't…three days later and already they are "talking" again…."trying to work things out"…We try to talk some sense into her, try to make her see just how broken and unhealthy this relationship is, but she won't acknowledge our concerns.

Normally, we have never gotten involved in her affairs, but this relationship is absolute poison to someone in her condition and her backslide into depression has already begun. She is 24 , so is technically an "adult" but seems to have the mindset of a 12 year old when it comes to making good decisions. She claims that he makes her feel good about herself, but this is where the manipulation comes in…

He owes her over $1000 (which she will never see again) that she could use while going back to school.

It's almost as if she does everything OPPOSITE as to what she is advised…

We are at a loss as to what we should do next…ignore her? Let her "do what she wants"? Intervene?

January 27, 2015
9:28 pm
Forum Posts: 52
Member Since:
January 20, 2015
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

She owns the problem. That is between her and her BF and counselor to solve. It has nothing to do with you. Your daughter enables the crack head and you enable your daughter to enable the crack head. You are playing the same role in your daughters life that she is playing in the crack heads life. The same way you want your daughter to let go of him is the same way you need to let go of your daughter. 

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