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Issues with my husbands family
August 5, 2014
6:37 pm
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chelsc
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August 5, 2014
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Hi there

 

This is the first time I have written on one of these sites so hopefully someone can give me some adivice.

We have a family farming business (my husbands family) and I am struggling at the moment to be happy and get along with everyone. So my husbands parents have a beautiful home on the farm, and so does his brother and his wife. My husband and I on the other hand are stuck in this tiny dingy run down piece of crap that we are renting of our neibourghers property. We have been living in this house for 5 years now, and we have one child and another on the way. It is so small that I really don't no how we are going to have two children here. Our landlord lives 10 metres away and it looks like he lives in a rubbish tip. It is horrible.

 

I get so frustrated as no one cares that we are living in this horrible place. Everyone else has their beautiful big farm homestead with all the works, and I just feel like I want to screem at them. They are so unappreciative for what they have, always complaining about something, but when I bring up the fact that I live here, they brush it off like they couldn't give a rats ass.

 

I just need someone to tell me if I am just over reacting and being silly, or do you think this is an unfair situation?? If so what can I do about it!!!!

 

Any advice would be great - and Im sorry if I am beng pathetic, I no there are bigger issues than this out there.

August 6, 2014
3:42 am
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onedaythiswillpass
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Well, no matter if you are troubled by some problem as you perceive it, you took the time to write about it & ask someone to give you their opinion concerning a situation as you see it.  I understand that your living conditions do not compare to other people within your husbands family & that you are worried that your own family space will be insufficient once your baby is born.  I also have biological family that have excessive amounts of space compared to mine & my own children, but they have made choices in their life & had a bit of luck and planning that led them to enjoy more luxury than we do.  In some way my own family is blessed to have whatever we have & we accept what we have without comparing.  Having said that, I think it would be best for you to discontinue trying to explain to your husband's family your own plight for I believe they are not listening & they cannot see not one thing about your own discomfort.  Most folks who have become accustomed to living in a certain manner no longer appreciate their fortune as they become in a sense bound by it.  Try your best to remain humble & try to concern yourself with making what you do have as lovely as you can for yourself, your husband & your children.  I am assuming you are safe, your family is healthy & I hope that you all have enough basic needs such as clothing & food.  While your life might be more difficult, at least you know how to survive within the borders of what you do have.  Can you imagine what might happen if your husband's family were to heaven forbid lose their status?  Could they survive without your help?  Would you open your door to them and try harder to make do with the small space you already are trying to make do with?  Do you listen to their concerns even when they shut their ears and eyes to yours?  Who then is the wealthier family?  A home is not the number of rooms or the square footage of it's property or land.  A home is a place where those you love are safe, have love together, have laughter together, & take very good care of one another.  Better for your children to understand how precious these gifts of home that you & hopefully your husband can try to give them, then for you to waste your time focusing on what the other part of the extended family has.  I suggest you stop trying to make them understand what you see as a disadvantage & start loving & caring for the blessings that you do have.  I have never seen peace in a home where there is anger or envy.  Please take these thoughts out of your mind for the sake of your husband, child & new child to come.

P.S. Congratulations on your soon to be new baby.  May he/she be healthy & strong & bring you much joy & laughter!!Smile

 

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