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Hiding thing from Husband
October 8, 2014
7:07 am
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allyoop
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October 8, 2014
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My son is recently married to a women who has 4 children from other men.  My son has taken them and taken care of his 2 children plus hers.  prior to the marriage she was living with a guy that she worked with.  this guy is very jeaolus of their marriage.  While spending time with her 9 year old the girl asked me " if iI told you that I spent the night at my moms ex-boyfriends house , wold you tell my dada?" (dad meaning her step dad..my son)  she does not want to get in trouble.  we were not in a place where I could really talk openly but I was thinking 1. that I should tell her that she should tell her dad because lying and hiding things from him is not right. 2. Talk to my daughter in-law and tell her whats up and that she is teaching the children to lie and she needs to tell my son or I will.  3. I just tell my son.  Pleas advise.

October 9, 2014
2:30 am
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onedaythiswillpass
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Why is your daughter allowing her 9yr old daughter to sleep over? Does the boyfriend have custody of any kind of his 4 children (if they are all his)?  Is this guy just some guy who was your daughter's boyfriend from work and not have any biological connection to her 9yr old daughter?  If indeed he is simply a man that wants to be in this 9yr old's company & the girl in his, I am still wondering why your daughter now recently married would not address this entire issue with her now husband & mostly with her daughter.  Next time this 9yr old asks your permission, I would tell her that you cannot make this choice for her & that she must ask the permssion of both her Mom & her step Dad.  When you say that your daughter in law is " teaching the children to lie", do you mean that your daughter was willing to allow this sleep over in the past & future without her husband's knowledge?  If that is the case, then again, you should go directly to your daughter in law & perhaps tell her that keeping secrets about these issues from her husband might not be such a good thing for the recent marriage.  In the end, how they treat one another in their recent marriage is only their business, but if the child is asking you to keep this sleepover a secret from anyone then you should be concerned.  What is the connection between your daughter's daughter and this "boyfriend"?  Why is this man still in the picture at all?  Does the 9yr old not have friendships of her own?  Perhaps you can plan for her (with her Mom & your son) a sleepover where one of her good friends comes over or vice versa?  If there are now 6 children under one roof, do they not play together somehow?

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