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Helping children through divorce
January 19, 2011
7:34 am
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mimimimi
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January 19, 2011
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I think that with a divorce, it is the children who are most affected. How do you help children cope with their parents' divorce.

January 19, 2011
10:00 am
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beatrize
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January 19, 2011
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I agree that children with divorcing parents are all too prone to have issues with their identity, sense of belonging, even their self confidence. What's more damaging is that they don't have a strong coping mechanism to help them weather through it.

January 19, 2011
1:30 pm
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Rhyannon
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January 10, 2011
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It depends on how the parents handle it and if they are there for the children and not talking bad about the other parent. It also depends upon the child as well some children may need counseling to get through the problems of handling it. I think if the child is acting out why not take them it couldn't hurt.

January 19, 2011
2:00 pm
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freeme
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A great question, I have some close friends who are getting a divorce and they have tween children.  It is super hard on the kids, they voice their opinions all the time about it.  I think that you have to get along for the kids and still be a united front for them.  Talk to them throughout the whole process and let the kids see both the parents.

January 19, 2011
9:09 pm
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dtypist
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This is hard to answer because kids have different levels of understanding. And when it applies to us then it will be harder to answer because we are already involve. There is nothing we can do to prepare the kids for divorce and the only thing we can do is to explain to them the situation.

January 19, 2011
10:13 pm
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Alise
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Of course it is *usually* best to avoid divorce, especially when children are involved (except in cases of abuse; although even then, police involvement could be better than divorce). If it cannot be avoided, then counseling could be helpful.

January 19, 2011
10:54 pm
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Loretta
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It is very much up to the parents to set the tone.  They can help their kids or destroy them.  Fighting, badmouthing, and such simply makes things negative and more difficult for the children.  Parents who can be cordial are awesome.

January 20, 2011
12:29 pm
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6yroldkid
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January 20, 2011
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It helps to talk to your children if you are undergoing divorce. Give them information as needed, and as appropriate for their age. You have to ask yourself if you're divulging that information for your own selfish reasons or for their benefit.

January 20, 2011
6:45 pm
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yecharu
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January 20, 2011
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You should also be alert to certain changes in their behavior.  If they start to fail in school, or their grades fall, then it's time to take them to a counselor.  Listen to what they have to say without forcing them to open up.  

If you have younger kids, allow them to express themselves through art or drawing or any other creative outlet.

January 21, 2011
1:02 am
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XanaxDid
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January 21, 2011
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Make sure that you don't force your child to choose between you and your spouse. If you have any hostility towards your spouse then make sure that you don't communicate that to your kids.

January 23, 2011
9:19 pm
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remembrance
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January 23, 2011
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Don't stifle their emotions.  Most parents would scold their children if they show emotions like anger, shame, betrayal and guilt.  These emotions are normal and children with divorcing parents should be allowed to have them.  This is also where professional counseling may help.  You need to accept the emotions of your kids and let them handle it on their own or through a professional's guidance.

January 24, 2011
5:37 am
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BabblingIdiot
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January 22, 2011
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This is definitely a difficult subject. One of my daughter's and she is actually the older one that has seen things, gets angry if I talk about what he did to me. He was an abusive alcoholic. The biggest problem I see is that he never spends time with them and when he says he will he doesn't. I know this hurts them but they keep telling me they are used to it.

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