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Feeling Abandoned by my family....
February 18, 2017
10:53 pm
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RaeRox
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February 18, 2017
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OK so...Im a 39 yr old professional mother of 4 who moved away from her family (AZ) when she was 21 to pursue a career after college graduation (TX). My children are 17, 13, 6, and 3. My first 2 children are from my first marriage that ended in separation/divorce in 2003, when I was 8 mo pregnant with my now 13 yr old. From that point on I was a single mom (no family in the state) and didn't depend on anyone. My sons and I would visit my family (most, by now had moved to the east coast) occasionally; once or every 2 years. My parents and 2 siblings visited twice since I have been in TX. I spoke to my parents & siblings occasionally but was never really close with any of them. In 2009, I got engaged after a 5 mo courtship and we have since had 2 daughters. In 2010, my happy and healthy (now 13 yr old) son began having some health issues. In 2011, he was diagnosed with a genetic terminal illness called Batten Disease (JNCL). There is no treatment or cure and its both heartbreaking and difficult. His father (after our genetic counseling session) walked away and hasn't looked back. Thank GOD for my husband now. Our family has had to make alot of serious realistic lifestyle adjustments. Which put alot of things in perspecitve...like my children having no ties to my side of the family, they dont really know them. Since the diagnosis...I don't hear from my siblings really. Once every 4-6 months. My dad and are are estranged since 2007 and my mom and I would talk once every 3-4 weeks. At the beginning of 2016 my mom and I discussed her moving out here since my brother was no longer in school. I cant tell you how excited I was just to have my mom around. Ive needed her so much through the years...especially since 2011. My mother in law offered my mom her home to live in (5 min away) at a reduced rate since it was paid for and she was staying in the home we had just build and moved into a year earlier. My mom lives on SS and works part time, so this would be the only way she would be able to make ends meet. In Sept. 2016 my mom and my brother moved here from MA. They were to stay here until their belongings arrived since we have plenty of room. My mom spent time prepping the 'her' house (yard work, etc). Well my MIL and I had a falling out in Dec (she drove drunk with my daughters in the car) and I asked her to move out. She took her house back. Leaving my mom and brother stranded...last month, I found out my mom and brother would be moving back to MA. To what, no idea since her apt is rented and she has no job. I tried to discuss this with her. Asking her to reconsider. Telling her how much I love, miss, and need her. I was pleading. But nothing would change her mind. She told me that she 'misses her friends'. I ache to even type those words...because I couldn't IMAGINE saying those words to my daughter. Especially given the circumstances. Wild horses couldn't drive me away. I literally cried for 2 days hearing them.

Throughout the years, Im the one my family called/calls when there is a problem or they need help...money, emotional support...I've dropped things at a moments notice to fly to tend to a family member. I've sent my mother money for the last 10 years because I know she needed it. I just feel so alone and unimportant to my mom. This issue has sent me in to a hidden cyclone of depression which doesn't seem to matter to her nor my bother. She mentioned the other day she was leaving all her crap in my garage when she leaves in a few weeks. Im aw-struck. Now...the subject is avoided like the plague. I know me, if she leaves, I will never forgive her. Not ever, and its my children who will suffer. I'm not dealing well. I feel like I boiling over...am I completely unreasonable?
Cry

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