Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
Family is torn apart....
August 14, 2014
10:20 pm
Avatar
SamGoble13
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 2
Member Since:
August 14, 2014
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Okay i'm going to give a little bit of info before i ask for advice on what ishould do about the situation.

I'm 17, and my brother is 22 who is addicted to heroin and has been for about 3 years. My mother recently lost her job in March, and had an affair with one of her employees while with my dad and also started using pills(Xanax) and Alcohol. My dad is disabled and can't work so he relies on my mom, and has anger issues at times. Now . The problem started up in Feb when my dad and i found out that she had been having an affair with the cook at the restauraunt she was a manager at. Fights happened every time she came home because she would go to work, and then not come home till 7am sleep till 2 pm then do it all over again. Then we found out she was getting pills from her doctor for mood stabilizers and theyre a generic version of Xanax and she has all the symptoms of abuse of it. She was using alcohol with the pills as well and whenever she came home she was out of control, she would either sleep 8/9 hours at a time, or she'd be a wake and be so angry for nothing and tear the house apart. Her job then fired her because she was drinking on the job and they found out and she lost all contact with everyone who worked there (including the man). She then stopped everything that she was doing, but by then my dad and i found out that she had not been paying any of the bills nor the mortgage and she owed thousands of dollars. Then my brother comes into the equation, because he takes ALL of her money…and if he can't get any money then he gets very violent and him and my dad get into fights and the cops have already been to the house multiple times because of all of this, but can't do anything because the parents need to kick him out. But they refuse because they don't want him to die so its a never ENDING cycle..and because of all the fighting my mom began to get more pills from her doctor and we even tried emailing the doctor but nothing. These last few months have been really bad, and nothing has changed. I am trying to be strong and think of the fact that i graduate in a year and because of my academics i qualify for a lot of good colleges out of state but everyday that i am home i am depressed and i am in so much pain. And when i'm not at home there's a constant worry about my dad because my brother and him get into fist fights and my dads disabled and he means the world to me. Nothing seems to be getting better and i feel like the depression is getting worse because i've been having suicidal thoughts and i still do. I wish i could not feel any pain and i don't want to live but i'm to scared to even cut myself so i will never do anything. I just don't know what to do anymore, and i have no one to talk to about it and thats the worst part. I plan on seeing my doctor on Sept. 9th on seeing a therapist so i can talk to someone but i don't think i can wait till then…At this point i'll take any advice as brutal as it is, because i have no clue what to do.

August 15, 2014
6:58 am
Avatar
onedaythiswillpass
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 1134
Member Since:
January 18, 2012
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Dear Sam,

I am sorry to hear that you are living amidst such a high level of dysfunction.  Please do not think that you need to do anything at all about the troubles surrounding your parents or your brother.  If you decide to continue living with your family, what you do need to do is to try to make sure you are safe & when violence starts, if possible remove yourself from the premises.  I understand your father is diasabled & if he is being caught in the crossfire, try to take him out either for a drive if you can or a walk.  You have done everything right for yourself in a very difficult situation.  You need to give yourself a pat on the back.  You most certainly do not deserve to even think about harming yourself in any way.  Yes, please go to the Doctor, go the therapist, get whatever support you need & talk it out.  Keep writing & posting here if it helps you.  You cannot make your parents throw your brother out.  Your Mom should not have given him money that belonged to the entire family, but obviously she has her own issues & please try not to judge or understand any decisions made by people living with addiction.  I hope that you do go to college & I hope you can somehow find a way to move out of the dysfunction of your family.  You deserve it.  You have done nothing wrong.  Asking for help is the right thing to do.  Please take good care of yourself & focus on your goals in education.  Next time things get heated in your home, try your best to not get involved and distance yourself.  By the way, do you have any friends or family that you can reach out to when you need to?  Whatever you do, do not harm yourself.  Somewhere the help you need to get through this is out there & you will find it.  If you can't, come right back here & tell someone about it again.

Remember, you are doing your best & no one expects more than that from you.  Just please be good to yourself & promise me you will not harm yourself.

 

One Day

August 15, 2014
9:58 am
Avatar
SamGoble13
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 2
Member Since:
August 14, 2014
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thankyou, and I think that's my problem with this entire thing. I always am in the middle of their problems and get caught in the cross- fire. I will never do anything to hurt myself because i am a happy person it's just these past few months have brought me into a depression that i've never felt before. But i've been getting help from my aunt who lives about 5 minutes and i'm always welcome to stay with her and i have been for the past few days but i'll be going home today and from what you said i will try to do that and not get involved. Thank you for the reply and i realize now that i really can't do anything about the problem and if anything i need to remove myself from the problem like you said. Thank you for even taking the time to reply, it means a lot.

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 247
Currently Online:
30
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110929
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38539
Posts: 714213
Newest Members:
stanley, LarteyWellnessGroup, dr ado spell caster, Leslie Ann Satin, overmyhead201, delight1080
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer