Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
Does anyone want to talk?
March 2, 2014
10:10 pm
Avatar
Levi
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 10
Member Since:
March 2, 2014
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I really don't like this being public...Recently, I wrote a post about my family problems on another site, and they slammed me pretty harshly. Please don't respond unless you really want to talk. I don't mind anyone's opinions, but I need mine to be respected too.

March 2, 2014
10:49 pm
Avatar
bevdee
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 259
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi Levi_2.  Welcome. I'll talk to you.  What do you want to talk about?

March 3, 2014
6:59 am
Avatar
Levi
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 10
Member Since:
March 2, 2014
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi thank you.

My mother had me with a one-night-stand at a bar. I lived with her until I was eight years old, and then she gave me away to her friend because she could not afford me after a divorce. I lived with her friend until I was 13, and then my mother came back. Well, about a year later she met this guy that she is now dating. He is eighteen years old, and acts like a child. He is violent towards me, and I am afraid of him because he is a lot bigger than me. My mother is telling me that if I don't get along with her boyfriend, that she will give me back again. My plan is to break my mother and this jerk up. I don't want to break her heart, but I can't stand seeing her with this idiot. I do not want to go to a counselor about this because they will take me away from my mother again, and I don't want to leave her. This guy also calls my mother horrible names to my face, and behind her back. I am hoping to get my mother to catch this, and maybe she will break up with him. However, I am not sure she will. She puts up with his violence, and kisses him after he hits her. She tells me that she loves this guy more than me right now.

Another thing I want to talk about...my mother took my to a bar a week ago. She wanted to hang out with me because I had been good for her earlier. Well, she got REALLY drunk. I was sitting in this chair, and she came over and starting dancing on me. I was feeling uncomfortable, and so I shoved her a little bit so I could get up. She shoves me back down. I tried to smile at her, but she had her eyes closed, and was lip singing to a song playing in the background. She started pressing down hard onto my lap. I told her she was hurting me, but she kept ignoring me. So I pulled her hair...which I hate myself for. And then she started attacking me. One of her friends that was at the bar at the time broke us up, and rushed me to a bathroom. In the mirror, I saw that I was bleeding all over my face. I have not spoken to my mother about this. I really don't think she recalls this. 

Anyone who responds...please take into account that I love my mother, and I care about her. I don't want to hear how she is a horrible person. If anything, maybe reassure me that people don't know what they're doing when they are drunk? (I have never been drunk.) Last time I posted this, my mother was called a pedophile, and was apparently worse than her new boyfriend. Thanks everyone! 

March 3, 2014
8:16 am
Avatar
bevdee
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 259
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi Levi.  I understand that you love your mother, and don't want to lose her again.  Sometimes it's hard to see just how abusive a person we love is being.  You must be a very strong person to be able to withstand that.  Its also so hard to see someone engaging in behaviours that we know are self-destructive.  And destructive to us.  Do you have any means of support, in your real life?  I understand not wanting to go to anyone, but is there anyone from a church? Or other community?

March 3, 2014
8:21 am
Avatar
Levi
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 10
Member Since:
March 2, 2014
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Bevdee

But I pulled her hair, and I forgive her because I shouldn't have hurt her. I could talk to my school counselor but like I said, I just don't want anyone getting too involved. All I want is her to break it off with this guy. I'll fogive her for the bar scene, as I will never go there again. She was drunk, and so I can see that she didn't know what she was doing. On the other sites I have posted on, I was told that she knew exactly what she was doing, but she was drunk so I don't see how. 

March 3, 2014
8:30 am
Avatar
Levi
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 10
Member Since:
March 2, 2014
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Now I am getting called a troll because apparently I speak too well for my age, and I should be in school. However, school cancelled here due to snow. It's annoying.

March 3, 2014
8:41 am
Avatar
bevdee
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 259
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Who is callin you a troll?

March 3, 2014
8:43 am
Avatar
Levi
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 10
Member Since:
March 2, 2014
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Just people on this other site. They are like I articulate too much or something. I sort of blew up on them last night for saying some things about my mother, and I think they are mad at me is all.

March 3, 2014
8:45 am
Avatar
bevdee
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 259
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Did someone pm you here at this site and call you a troll?  Be careful
about giving out any personal info, anywhere online.  Say what you want, don't pay attention to people that want to
argue with you, and not help you.

March 3, 2014
8:49 am
Avatar
Levi
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 10
Member Since:
March 2, 2014
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

It wasn't on this site. And they are like older, and so I couldn't help but listen to them. I don't know what to say. Thanks for responding.

March 3, 2014
8:13 pm
Avatar
bevdee
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 259
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hey Levi.  You don't have to answer anyone online if you don't want to.  That's the beauty of online.  No problem with responding.  I understand about inappropriate mothers.  I got one a those, too.  :~)

March 4, 2014
12:25 pm
Avatar
Levi
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 10
Member Since:
March 2, 2014
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

The discussion I started I guess caused everyone to fight. Like I tried to apologize to the ones that seemed really angered by me, and they went ahead and closed my discussion and account. The last message I got to read I am thankful for...at least the discussion didn't end so negatively. The person related to being called a troll, and how it is really hurtful being called one. I don't even know what I did. I get yelled at for speaking bad, and now I'm being told I can't speak too well. It really is hurtful to go out of your way to apologize, and make things right with the people that are knocking you down for NO reason. And then the creators of the account listen to them, and close my account. I just would like to know how speaking too fluently is a good reason to be called a troll? For speaking fluently, I was argued with, called a troll, and then my account has disappeared all together. What a waste of time that was. I cannot believe how many times my posts get deleted. NOONE BELIEVES WHAT IM SAYING> And there's ALWAYS a reason?? Speaking too clearly???? How specific is that???!!! That site just made everything worse! Apparently if your problem is too big, then you shouldn't post it. I wasted three days on that site trying to get some sort of advice on how to get rid of my mother's idiotic boyfriend, and what was it for??? They started constant fights with me, called my mother a HORRIBLE person, who I need to get away from asap. They slammed me with insults for defending my mother, and for defending people who use alcohol. And then it ended with me APOLOGIZING for nothing. Just to get them on my side again, and to listen to me. And they STILL called me a troll. The worst part of all this was that they blamed my MOTHER for this guy. An 18 year old is an adult???? That's what I thought. But, no, it was all HER fault. Even though, SHE is the one who had a difficult upbringing, and HE is the one who grew up with a normal life. Just because she is a magical 35 years old, it is all her fault for the relationship. I am so frustrated, I cannot even begin. And they wouldn't even let me argue their opinions, or ask them questions about it. Instead, they called me rude and that I need to LISTEN UP and stop being such a "mommy's boy." No matter how many times I told them I do not want to see a counselor for this because I cannot get taken away again, they failed to understand. It was the same message, and then I was told I don't "value their opinions," and "they don't have a solution to my woes." I told them, to hell with it, let's drop it, please??? And they kept going on and on about how big of a troll I am, just because I didn't want to see a counselor. I told them from the beginning, that I do NOT think my mother is abusive, but they wouldn't let her leave the conversation. Every action of her boyfriend was somehow her fault, and that she is JACKED UP apparently. PEOPLE DRINK! And I have NO problem with drinking; I don't care how crazy it makes you. Ultimately, I should not stay around my mother when she is drinking. Why can't I take the responsibility here? If alcohol can't, why can't I then? I was told there is NO excuse for my mother's actions. That she lacks character, responsibility, and that I better move to college soon, even though I'm still years away, because my mother is jacked up. I didn't want the discussion to be me defending my mother for 50 posts, but they wouldn't let up. If anything, that discussion has made me hate my mother's boyfriend so much more. SHE has NOTHING to do with HIM. I don't care what they all have to say. My posts getting deleted was all a big joke to them. How upsetting it was for me, and they joked around saying, "well I can see why, you big, fat, troll." Some sixty year old man was like "if Levi is a 14 year old boy, I would like to buy the brooklyn bridge from him." So I had to look that up, because I have never heard of that before, and find out that he thinks that he would be gullible for believing me, right after I apologized to him for NOTHING. It is SO frustrating. I just wanted someone to talk to. You know, I was willing to listen to them if they thought my mother was abusive, but they didn't want to hear my side of it. They were angry with me for defending her. I feel horrible. Like that discussion was a big gossip about my mother behind her back. And how I should bow down to her new boyfriend for his young age. I was told that I misunderstood. That I am too emotional over this. I mean, if you are reading this anyone, let me ask you something, when you read my post, what comes to mind? Maybe violence, and physical abuse? Well, they insisted on speaking about how my mother was SEXUALLY abusive, and that she is attracted to me! I was like, people drink, and they are not themselves, but they just wouldn't agree with me. And I was like, "hello, her boyfriend is violent towards me." And like I've said over and over in this gigantic rant, his violence, his everything, was HER fault according to the "experts." I wrote one paragraph about my mother acting a little odd. One tiny paragraph, and even focused on the violence that happened. But no, they zeroed in BIG TIME on my mother's pedophilia actions. I just wanted someone to talk to. Not this audience full of critics. I tell people all the time, DONT RESPOND TO ME IF YOU DONT WANT TO TALK/ and the same goes for if YOU DONT BELIEVE ME OR THINK I AM A TROLL. But since they are "experts," and have, "common sense," they feel it is their duty to flood my discussion with hateful comments of why exactly I am a troll. That sixty year old man was like, "I don't have time for this." I was like, "dont respond if you think I am a troll." How hard is that? I don't expect anyone to read this. I just want the creators of that retarded site to know that their discussion was NOT deleted, because I remember it all like it was yesterday. And, go ahead, new site, delete my account. Delete my post. I am done after that happens. And NO I won't be seeing a counselor, old commentors, and you, along with your "advice" can all go to hell. 

March 4, 2014
11:10 pm
Avatar
bevdee
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 259
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hey Levi.  Well, I don't think you're a troll because we don't agree about everything.  Unfortunately, that's how a lot of folks online respond to someone with a different opinion.  I'm really sorry that you are going through this situation at home.  I don't think you are being too emotional about being abused, and subjected to your home situation.  It SUCKS to be stuck in a home you're not comfortable in, don't feel safe in.  Just sucks.  I planned my exit for 4 years before I was able to do it. 

But my opinion is this.  If her bf is abusing you, you should not put up with that.  He IS an adult, and will be tried accordingly for child abuse, assault and battery of a child.  Even subjecting you to watching him hit your mother is considered abuse, endangering the welfare of a child, in some states.  But to get them apart, you may have to report him.  Which means you'll have to talk to someone, like at school. 

March 4, 2014
11:21 pm
Avatar
Levi
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 10
Member Since:
March 2, 2014
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Lol...Woah

Thanks for responding...

Can I ask you about what happened in your house, or do you not want to talk about it? How did you finally get out of it? Thanks for the advice. I will figure something out. I really don't know about talking to someone, because then it will just make things bad between me and my mother. I think I will try to put up with her bf, and wait him out. 

March 4, 2014
11:54 pm
Avatar
bevdee
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 259
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hey.  I don't mind telling what happened in my house.  My mom left my daddy to marry our church's minister.  She badmouthed Daddy all the time, up until he died 2 years ago.  She was very abusive to me, not my sister.  She would slam me into walls, whip me with the buckle end of Daddy's western belt, ping pong paddles, willow switches.  She dangled me over the stairwell a few times.  I didn't know it until much later in my life, but she is addicted to pain meds, and drank quite a bit.  The stepdad never touched me, but never interfered.  

At one time, my gym teacher pulled me in her office and asked me what was wrong.  TOld me she could tell I was unhappy, and wanted to know if she could help.  I blew her off, smarted off and walked out.  I didn't dare tell anyone in the school system, because my mom was a teacher.  Whenever we got in trouble at school, oh that was baaad news when we got home.  She didn't want anyone to think we weren't perfect. 

I learned later in life how to keep my mouth shut to avoid getting hurt.  That's a hard lesson.  It's difficult for me to do that when I just KNOW I'm right.  That's what you'll have to do with your mom and her bf, you know that, right?

I hope you sleep good tonight.  be sure to erase your history, passwords and delete cookies, if you're using a pc.  I'll check back tomorrow..  Take care

March 5, 2014
2:14 pm
Avatar
Levi
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 10
Member Since:
March 2, 2014
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Just got home from school:)

I am glad you no longer suffer from her abuse. I don't have any siblings that I know of. My father could have children but I never actually met him. My mother has only had me. Did your sister see you getting hit by her? You are a brave person for getting through such a difficult life. I definitely think you've had it harder than me. I put on a face at school.

My mother doesn't really work a job because she was given a lot of money from a previous relationship, who passed away. I have to say, it is shocking to hear that your mother was a teacher, working with students each day, and was that way to you. Thanks for sharing. Yeah, you learn to just go along with what you have to so it doesn't result in you getting hurt. 

Today, my mother clearly saw her boyfriend with a girl, and she did not do a thing about it. I am not sure how to get them to break up. I cannot stand the way he treats her, and I don't understand why she lets him. 

March 7, 2014
6:25 am
Avatar
bevdee
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 259
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Mornin Levi.  Yes, my sister saw (and heard) it all.  About the teacher?  This was difficult -  her former students and I went to the same high school.  they would stop me and tell me how great a teacher she was, and how lucky I was to have HER for a mom.  And of course, I never disabused then of their notion. I kept a face, too. Nothing wrong with faces, as long as we know it for what it is.  I have different demeanors for different places.  e.g.  church, bar, beauty shop.  

So, your mom has a bit of money, and the steppin-out-on-her man is quite a bit younger than her.  hmmm. You know, the lesson for you may not be what to do to break them up, but what to do until they break up.  What new coping skills might you develop while staying in your mother's home?

I hope you have a great day. 

March 7, 2014
6:17 pm
Avatar
Levi
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 10
Member Since:
March 2, 2014
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hello bevdee

I am so sorry that you had such a difficult life. I love my mother, and I think she is the best. I just think she has bad taste in guys. Do you talk to your sister at all anymore? I can see why you might be upset with her for allowing your mom to treat her ok, and you badly. I know exactly what you mean. People are SO unaware of how teachers can be bad too. A girl I knew in high school once told one of my classmates whose mother was a teacher that "I thought teachers slept in the closet, and never left the school building." It's sad how people never suspect them of anything. Yeah I agree. I'll try to ignore him and stay out of his way. I think I'll try going to people's houses, like this weekend, to let the time pass. 

March 9, 2014
12:53 am
Avatar
bevdee
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 259
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hey Levi, good to hear from you again. I hope you didn 't think I was criticising your mom.  I wasn't.  I was kinda wondering about the young man's intentions.  She has money, he messes around on her....

Yes, my sister and I are still friends.  Not as close as we once were, but we still talk a couple of times a month.  She didn't have any choice in how my mom treated me - or her for that matter.  She did not fare well for all that she was the favorite.  She has horrible self esteem issues and battles addictions.  We're all flawed. 

Good luck on deeping your head down.  I hope you're having a great weekend.  

March 13, 2014
10:24 pm
Avatar
Levi
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 10
Member Since:
March 2, 2014
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hey bevdee,

Sorry I haven't been on in so long. No, I completely understand, and I'm not offended at all. I think her money could definitely have a lot to do with it. But he's kind of gross about her, and says he has other reasons why. That is good that you and your sister are still friends. I am glad that you are not angry with her, as I don't think it is anybody but your mother's fault. Thanks! Another week of Ethan down! LOL 🙂

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 323
Currently Online:
122
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110949
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38555
Posts: 714244
Newest Members:
MarriageResearch, Ailuros, pratavetra, jameshelen77, jasonbloom, brtechnosoft
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information