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allowing daughter to move in
September 13, 2013
8:49 am
New Member
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 12, 2013
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Let me start with some background. My wife and I have been together for 10 year, married for 5. We were each married previously. My adopted daughter lived with us for a short time and then went to live with her mother. she is now 25 and has a 18 month old son and not married.
    She has resented me since then and feels I abandoned her even though I was always there for her when needed. she would get mad and call me all kinds of names and say she never wanted to hear from me again any time I would not give her what she wanted. If I gave her what she wanted everything was great until the next time.
    My daughter recently moved back to Calif from Nebraska and moved in with her mother. Now she want to come live with me. She had a job when she moved here but got fired. she says there is better opportunities here where I am.
    The problem is, she absolutely hates my wife. She has said so several times. I asked her about it and she said she says lots of things when she is mad. my wife was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt and let her move in. However, She was recently here fo a 5 day visit. Everything was fine, no anger, pleasant visits, etc. Her 18 year old grandaughter was here also for the visit and my daughter offered to give her a ride home since it was on her way home. In the car they were talking and my daughter asked her why she didn't want to live with us and go to school. she admited to my daughter that she didn't really like me. My daughter then told her they were even because she absolutely can't stand my wife.
    Thing is, there was no anger, nothing to make her mad at me or my wife, so we have to assume she really doesn't like my wife. Now my wife does not want to let her move in. She says she cannot live with someone who dislikes her and has no respect for her. I say I want her to move in because I feel I owe it to her because I was not there when she needed me. It is only supposed to be for a few months until she finds a job and gets her own place. My wife says this will never happen because she is to absorbed in her partying and flying all over the country to hold a job and save money. My wife believes she got fired from her job because of all the time she would take off.
    This is really causing a rift in our relationship and there is talk of divorce if she moves in. I want her to move in because I feel I owe her. What should I do. Let her move in and lose my wife, or respect my wife's wishes and not let her? I love my wife and really do not want to lose her.

September 16, 2013
7:54 am
Forum Posts: 7
Member Since:
September 7, 2013
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

First off, I would ask that you read my post..."at the end of my rope"...

My life is ruined due to me letting my 24 year old daughter move in with us. We are on the verge of losing EVERYTHING. We are being forced to break up our current family...place our teenagers somewhere else...and rent a room for 6 months to try to get back on track.

Yes, I too felt guilty...like I owed her something. She has taken this and used it to her advantage. She has NO respect for us WHATSOEVER. We were simply a "layover" until she found another man to shack up with. 

If you allow this to happen, you will undoubtedly lose your wife, and god knows what else. Look out for YOURSELF first. The fact that she ALREADY has no respect for you or your wife is a RED FLAG my friend.

DO NOT allow her to use past experiences against you TO GET WHAT SHE WANTS. 


Best of luck to you.

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