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advice needed on an ongoing issue
September 12, 2013
10:25 am
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September 12, 2013
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Hi guys,

Hope someone can offer their perspective on this.

For many years, my mother and I have had a really bad relationship. She mentally , and at times physically abused me and has alcohol problems. From a young age she regularly put me out on the street and even went as far as to have me arrested, accusing me of assaulting her, which was untrue.

Despite all this, I have always 'went back for more' so to speak, after my mother has treated me terribly she calls me up pretending nothing has happened. She also tells the rest of my family that i'm the one in the wrong and that i'm a liar, and the one with the 'problem'. I should mention that I have a sister who lives with my mother , as does my five year old neice. My sister is not willing to accept my mothers alcohol problem and defends my mother, although any human being must see that she is wrong in the way that she treats me. All this I could accept, until last october I had my first baby. My family has never taken anything to do with my baby and despite me attempting to keep a relationship between my mother and my son, my mother tells me that she is not willing to take 'special time' away from my sister and my neice to spend with me and my son. She also says that my son (who is eleven months old) doesn't want to know her... and that she favours my neice as she doesn't know my son. One of the main issues surrounding her relationship with my son is that not only does my neice get all the attention but is a hard child to be around, as she is constantly playing up, and throughout her life has been taught from my mother and sister that it is alright to speak to me in whatever way she pleases. Her behavior around my son makes me feel very uncomfortable and accompained with the way my mother and sister are, I do not take my son into their house. Because I won't take my son over , this is what my mother uses as an excuse as to why she won't come down to see my son, saying that if my neice isn't involved, she doesn't want a relationship with my baby. My mother also refuses to watch my baby for me to work as she thinks its ridiculous that I wouldn't allow her to drink whilst minding my son.

These issues with my family are really having an effect on me and my relationship with my partner. I have not spend one minute away from my son since feburary and feel very down and trapped because of the situation.  Any advice would be really appreciated. 

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