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15-year old son in detention, might be a sexual deviant w/conduct disorder
October 26, 2011
12:56 pm
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Rivetdad
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October 26, 2011
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This might be a parent's worse nightmare - my 15-year old son, who lives with his mom several states away, recently was put into detention for delinquency (it was the third time he had run away). For the past few months he had been sneaking out constantly to the point were mom and stepdad were staying up at all hours making sure he stayed in. He went to stay with a relative for a short time, and after a few weeks that's when he made his move - he and his 16-year old girlfriend ran away, eventually running from the police and then getting caught. Since then, it has been a whirlwind of discoveries (things he had written and drawn, things that the two of them had planned) and admissions that have highlighted this web of lies and deceit that he's been spinning. Recently it came out that he may have done inappropriate things with one of his siblings and is having deviant sexual fantasies. He constantly warps the truth and doesn't seem to care or comprehend what he's putting everyone through. The counselor is finalizing evaluations and it's looking more and more like he will be spending a lot of time in a mental health facility.

I'm not the custodial father and live thousands of miles away (not by my doing, but that's water under the bridge). Yet I can't help but feel some of this is my fault...if I had either fought harder for him to stay near me, if I had called more often, seen him more often, shown him that I loved him and that I was actually there. I'm not the definition of an absentee father, but I know I could have sacrificed more and done so much more. I never imagined that any of the troubles he would have would be anything like this. I'm not sure how to handle any of this now...I feel like I'm going to fall apart at any moment. My own home life is a disaster and none of this is helping at all. 

November 11, 2011
1:25 am
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ShiningLight
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Rivetdad,

 

Maybe you can try send him to a juvenile school. That way, his behavior will be addressed and most especially he'll get proper discipline and treatment. Your son is still young and it's not too late to correct all his wrong doings so make him realize that on his own. Right now, what he needed the most is his parents presence so make sure you are there beside him to support him all the way to his recovery. Just continue coordinating with the counselor as that will also help you on how to deal with your son's condition.

 

Wishing you well.

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