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I need help with my husband
December 5, 2012
2:08 pm
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jgomez73
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Hi:  I just want to start saying my husband is driving me crazy we been together for more than 15 years unfortunatly he abuse drugs and alcohol and suddenly the last 2 weeks he change he's behavior and start acusing me of been with someone else the problem with this is that he think I was with someone when he was not leaving with me and that was more than a year and a half ago which I didnt do he is questioning me about phone calls from that time I keep showing him and telling him who is every number he ask me and before I clarify who is the number he just utilised bad language and he start been agressive towards me but as soon I explain and show him proof he change his actitud well hes not been sleeping at all he stay up all night and sleep during the day yesterday he told me that I have someone in different states and told me I was clover that he already figure out how I was with this ghost person he said he figure out everything I was patient and try to tell him I did not do that and the stop accusing me and harrazing me I been dealing with him for over 4 years trying to help him and also he went to rehab last march but this time is crazy I keep telling him tell what bothers you and I clearify everything but he has this on his mind set already we have a baby boy and a dauther whos 10 years old but I really want to help him cause hes my husband and I love him but I reaally dont have no idea what else to do anymore is like he has this movie make on his head and nothing that I say help please help Cry!!!!Im going crazy I need a solution quick....before something really bad happen...

January 14, 2013
5:06 am
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ShiningLight
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As long as he continue to undergo rehab treatments, he will be okay. As a wife and partner, you need to understand his condition and support him in his recovery process so that when he gets better you can then both settle your marriage problems if there's any and discuss ways that can strengthen your family especially that you have kids. Your husband needs professional help and most especially he needs you so it would be best to coordinate with his drug abuse counselor/therapist.

February 23, 2013
9:09 am
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RehabForTeens
Orange, CA
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It is very important for your husband to join a rehab program. As a wife, support him whole-heartedly. May be he is lacking confidence in him. Counselling will give him positive feeling towards you. Good luck!

March 24, 2013
12:06 pm
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aaronwebvizards
Costa Mesa, CA
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ShiningLight said:

As long as he continue to undergo rehab treatments, he will be okay. As a wife and partner, you need to understand his condition and support him in his recovery process so that when he gets better you can then both settle your marriage problems if there's any and discuss ways that can strengthen your family especially that you have kids. Your husband needs professional help and most especially he needs you so it would be best to coordinate with his drug abuse counselor/therapist.


I agree with you. He must
continue his rehab sessions. This is a long process but you have to be patient
and you must support him (which i think you're doing). He won't realize it now
that under what conditions he's putting you through, but he'll eventually. Just
don't give up on him. Good luck.
July 21, 2013
9:22 am
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indaylovey
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so sorry to hear about your husband's behavior... I can understand how you feel right now because I have been seeing a lot of situation like yours in our society too. Your husband is badly needed a treatment immediately. As you've said, he's been accusing you of doing something which you are not, he's been into bad mood all the time and would really want to fight, and have that bad language - is a sign that drugs and alcohol is really damaging him.. You need to put him into rehab quickly. That's the best solution. you can't do anything you want like telling him to stop drinking and etc.. it'll no big help.

July 21, 2013
9:59 am
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wondering2012
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i am just wondering, i under stand being supportive but she stated that he is starting to get physivalwith her and there are 2 children in the house, how much support does she need to stand around and give before she strts thinking about the safety and well being of their children? That is not a safe or healthy environtment for the children to be in.

July 21, 2013
10:32 am
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onedaythiswillpass
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January 18, 2012
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No person can go to Rehab in their own home.  If there are children in the home & this father is not clean while in the home or withdrawing around his wife & children, he must go into a real facility & stay there until he gets better.  If he does not want to do this, then the Mother & the children need to leave and stay away from him.  Particularly if he is being physically abusive in any manner.  The children & the Mother are not professional nurses or rehab staff.  The best support they can give, would be to ask him to enter Rehab until he is able to have visitors.

 

One Day

September 12, 2013
10:02 am
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RehabForTeens
Orange, CA
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February 21, 2013
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I am really feeling bad for you, as it is you who is suffering the most.he has a big problem of drinking and needs to join a rehab center,but he just not ready to face his problem.But I am surprised that you being his wife, he is not one bit thinking about your welfare or the welfare of the children. i just fail to understand why he is thinking of such stupid things and making life hell for you.You love him so much,maybe that is why you can not desert him but he is acting as if he could not give two shits about you.i do not know what to make of it,but it is certain he needs help,and that to real fast, otherwise he is going to ruin not only his own lifebut yours and the kids lives too.So wakeup and take charge.

September 24, 2013
2:08 am
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casabella
Laguna Beach, CA
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September 9, 2013
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Whatever rehab for teens has written and advised you is absolutely right.I am indeed feeling very sorry for you as you have been suffering for a long time.It is your husband who is troubling you .His drinking really needs to be controlled and seems you are not able to do much about it as now he has started to abuse you in front of your children.He needs to be taken to the rehab center and quick.Take charge of your life so that at least you and your children can live in peace.

October 1, 2013
2:58 pm
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addictionhotline
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September 27, 2013
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Hi dear friend,

What your husband exhibits is the classic drug addicts behavior. While on drugs, many people become paranoid, and start accusing their mates of cheating, or often times they feel that there is someone out there to get them. He must be going through this stage.  It is great, that you love your husband and want him to get better, but you need to understand that he needs serious help from Drug Rehab Center, where

certified professionals can provide the type of treatment he needs to overcome his addiction. There is nothing you can do about it on your own, and your husband has to be willing to get help.  Just staying with him, and accepting his drug use, may become what is called "enabling" your

loved one to continue to abuse drugs. If you are not able to speak to him on your own, try to stage an intervention, where the Intervention Specialist will guide this process, along with your family members and friends. When your husband is surrounded by close family members and friends, he may be able to realize how his drug use is affecting you and others. Often times, after the intervention, the drug addicts agree to undergo a drug rehab treatment, and later on they are able to overcome their chronic disorder, and have a healthy and productive life style.

Once your husband is in treatment, you can provide the support he needs to help him to complete his recovery journey, and rebuild the relationship he has with you and others.

 

Good luck to you!

Tanya Wise

The Addiction Hotline

(855) YES-REHAB

(855) 937-7342

January 9, 2014
9:35 pm
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Dr. Basim Elhabashy
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October 10, 2013
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You should need to stand beside him because he is disturbed and depressed so thats why he will throw his all the frustration on you and it is good that he will do these thing to you otherwise he will do it in other ways like to take alcohol in much amount and all...so you must have to support him and try to takle him in rehabitation center....

March 25, 2014
2:19 pm
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Jamie514
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onedaythiswillpass said:

No person can go to Rehab in their own home.  If there are children in the home & this father is not clean while in the home or withdrawing around his wife & children, he must go into a real facility & stay there until he gets better.  If he does not want to do this, then the Mother & the children need to leave and stay away from him.  Particularly if he is being physically abusive in any manner.  The children & the Mother are not professional nurses or rehab staff.  The best support they can give, would be to ask him to enter Rehab until he is able to have visitors.

 

One Day


wondering2012 said:

i am just wondering, i under stand being supportive but she stated that he is starting to get physivalwith her and there are 2 children in the house, how much support does she need to stand around and give before she strts thinking about the safety and well being of their children? That is not a safe or healthy environtment for the children to be in.


I would have to agree with you both, here.  Get him (or yourselves) out of the environment.  You can stand by him without standing beside him.  If it is an unsafe situation, then you have an obligation (IMO) to your children and TO YOURSELF.  Sometimes, the worst abuse isn't physical...the mental/verbal abuse can also leave some pretty damaging scars.

 

Be well and hang in there.

May 2, 2014
7:42 am
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Adelina
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I`m really feeling about your situation, because I have the same problem with my dad. The best sopution of course is hospital, but...addictive people usually resist against visiting doctor. What I rather try instead of hospital are special oral drops, which you can add into his food. Go to the drugstore near your house or kalinka store and ask pharmacist. But i think the first variant is better. I wish you good luck and don`t loose your faith, dearCry

September 22, 2014
12:56 am
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PDan
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September 22, 2014
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Be patient with him, everything is gonna be ok. This is really the consequence of drugs and alcohol. I can tell that he is realyy messed up. He really needs to continue the rehabilitation.

September 28, 2014
9:24 am
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kyle84
Arizona, USA
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August 29, 2014
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jgomez73 said:

Hi:  I just want to start saying my husband is driving me crazy we been together for more than 15 years unfortunatly he abuse drugs and alcohol and suddenly the last 2 weeks he change he's behavior and start acusing me of been with someone else the problem with this is that he think I was with someone when he was not leaving with me and that was more than a year and a half ago which I didnt do he is questioning me about phone calls from that time I keep showing him and telling him who is every number he ask me and before I clarify who is the number he just utilised bad language and he start been agressive towards me but as soon I explain and show him proof he change his actitud well hes not been sleeping at all he stay up all night and sleep during the day yesterday he told me that I have someone in different states and told me I was clover that he already figure out how I was with this ghost person he said he figure out everything I was patient and try to tell him I did not do that and the stop accusing me and harrazing me I been dealing with him for over 4 years trying to help him and also he went to rehab last march but this time is crazy I keep telling him tell what bothers you and I clearify everything but he has this on his mind set already we have a baby boy and a dauther whos 10 years old but I really want to help him cause hes my husband and I love him but I reaally dont have no idea what else to do anymore is like he has this movie make on his head and nothing that I say help please help Cry!!!!Im going crazy I need a solution quick....before something really bad happen...


I think your husband needs some time to be exactly what you want. One thing I must suggest you that do not leave him alone or part ways with him since you are the one who he needs more than he can express though you might think he is not doing the right things nowadays. With time, I hope everything is gonna change.
January 23, 2015
11:50 pm
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PDan
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My younger sister had the same problem a year ago. Her husband is an alcoholic and they always argue every time he comes home from work. It hurts me a lot seeing my sister crying and had been living a miserable life because of him. It so happened that I know someone who used to work as a recovery expert counselor in an addiction center services. I called him, desperately hoping he could do something about my brother in law’s alcohol dependency issues. Thank God, my friend was able to convince my brother in law to attend some AA meetings and seek counseling. I never thought that he'll be able to change. Up until now he managed to remain alcohol-free and he's enjoying his sober life with my sister.

January 29, 2015
1:02 am
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edwardcejka
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You are a very strong woman God bless you continue doing what you’re doing but you can take advice to some rehab center.

May 7, 2015
4:09 am
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jackturner838
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His addiction is the main cause behind all these happenings. He does not have control over his mind as drug or alcohol makes a person senseless and addicted person consider everything true whatever people tell him whether it is wrong or right one. Find a good addiction treatment center and take help and if you are unable to find the right one, you can try following website where you can find a list of such kind of treatment centers.

http://methadonedocs.com

Best of luck from me.

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