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Domestic violence/co-dependency
December 27, 2011
4:37 pm
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Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
December 27, 2011
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I lived with abuse on and off for 13 years. My boyfriend thought i sent him to prison and still does, but his best friend sent to prison and i got the blame. We he got out he wanted to live with me and work it out. I agreed to this and it was like being in prison for 13 years. He manipulated me, used me, mentally and physically abused me and my son. The last day we were together I purchased a house so i could leave him. He came home and i told him. He snapped and told me that the only way i would leave him was that i would be in a whole 6 feet under. He beat me with a belt than the buckle end and threatened to stab me with scissors, when i decide enough was enough i picked up a toy shotgun of some kind and he laughed and said are you going to shot me with a toy, so i turned it around to use it as a club and he came at me so i was able to jump over the bed, grab the phone and try to get out of the house. Unfortunately i was tackled as i was leaving my home. I started screaming and he got off me and went into the house. I ran off and called my neighbors to come get me and i called 911. when they came they asked if he had weapons and my son said yes he took one with him. So they went into the house and began taking weapons out of the house and this continued for 16 hours in which i had to stay throughout all of this. He was arrested for domestic violence which became a class b felony for the criminal confinement etc... then it became a federal case. Now i am picking up the pieces of my sons life and mine. I have a job, a home but am very co-dependent and am trying to learn to be the happy me again which is hard. How do I find myself and lose the co-dependency issues? How do i move on from the toxic life i lived and learned to exist in? I truly loved him and he has family tell me to take what i need from the house to have my own home. Why is he so thoughtful now. Can he really be remorseful and realize his mistakes and the need for help or is this a game? I need to move on but i am in limbo because of having to possibly testify at the hearings and speak with prosecutors regarding the other issues that arose from his arrest? stuck in limbo needing to get over my feelings and realize that he hurt me more than he ever loved me.

May 30, 2012
4:03 am
Forum Posts: 572
Member Since:
February 9, 2011
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Enough of the suffering and get a professional help. You and your son's safety is at stake so you have to make an immediate action. Seek the support from your relatives and friends as they can help you as well. You can still testify against him as you have a great evidence in you. Don't be afraid and fight for your freedom. Consult your counselor as soon as possible. That way, proper care and advice will be given to you and your son.

April 18, 2013
8:56 am
Orange, CA
Forum Posts: 44
Member Since:
February 21, 2013
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After being in prison for 13 long years,he did'nt change, then how do you expect him to change now?He's just trying to emotionally break you down, and get even with you,as he feels you to be responsible..Best would be to just forget him, and move on in life with your child..

April 15, 2015
3:53 am
New Member
Forum Posts: 1
Member Since:
April 15, 2015
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The most important thing is that the worst part of it is already in the past. Now you finally have a chance to live a normal life. Think of your son, he as well as you was traumatized by witnessing the domestic violence. You are brave enough to stop it and  it means you'll go over it soon. Hope it's going to be ok soon. Take care. Best wishes to you and your son.

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