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codependant and at my lowest
June 17, 2011
10:33 pm
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painstricken
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June 17, 2011
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I need so much help.....I have been with my bf for 4 years....he was an alcoholic when i met him....I didnt know what alcohol addiction was..I went to a councillor to learn...all i learned was devestating. and so true, i stopped going i didnt want to hear anymore truth. that was the beginning...everything was great until he cheated on me...it took me 6 months of snooping to find out....it was the alcohol he said i believed it...then came alot of harsh words through out the relationship i became a terrible person shooting my mouth off saying he was a lier. drinking became worse we broke up at least 10 times.. I finally had enough threw his things out....broke up with him,,,he hit rock bottom went into the hospital...went to rehab i took him back..then learned of other sexual instances that killed me....we argued more he drank...we broke up...he cried i took him back....he was getting better,,he went back to work where his first affair took place out of town....i was scared...i would call him and could tell he was drinking...when he came back last week i felt a strong feeling of deceit again he denied it all....i ended it again he got angry, as i bawled my eyes out he yelled at me how i only thought of myself...that i wasnt supportive...it was all about me...i have mental problems that i need help with he said....he said he would respect my decision if i wanted to break it off....i said it would be the best even though i didnt want to....then an hour later when i told him to stop contacting me he told me he was playing his cards thinking i would not break it off and took his chances...he said he didnt want it over and cried...said that i am the only one who has supported him through his alcoholoizm and made him better....i told him we arnt healthy for each other...his family thinks i am poison to him, which hurts when i helped him and his parents didnt when he was a full alcoholic...he told me not to get mad if another girl was at his house,since i had told him to go...he has an old girl friend who wants to be back with him who has taken advantage of him under the influence i know this through a journal he kept..he stayed at my house didnt help with bills or anything...he had his own place therefore wasnt fair to help with the bills...i love him soooo much..this is an unhealthy relationship...i feel i was more of a care taker to him and his daughter. I feel like a horrible person!!!i feel like a monster. I am scared he will find another and be happy with her...i have been in bed for 2 days the pain isnt getting any better. he will be contacting me i fear with tears i dont want to go back. im tired of being taken adavantage of..my kids are also affected seeing me like this. I dont know how to pick myself up and stop blaming myself...im sooo drained mentally. please help me

June 18, 2011
9:28 am
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ShiningLight
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Forum Posts: 572
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February 9, 2011
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Hi painstricken,

 

Welcome to AAC. You do have a serious a problem so you need to seek a counselor/psychologist that can help you on how to cope with your condition. You are basically in a relationship which you are emotionally abused and taken for granted.  It should be a hint for you alone to let go if you think it's already unhealthy for you and worst. it can affect your kids as well.This time, you have to decide and choose what's the best for you. It's either you move on or continue on being miserable.

 

Wishing you well. (((HUGS))) Smile

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