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Addicted to a Borderline Personality
May 19, 2013
6:07 pm
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JacksonJames
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May 19, 2013
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It has been about 3 years since I first met (and quickly started dating) a girl who has come to introduce more conflict, stress, pain and anxiety into my life than EVERYONE I'VE EVER KNOWN IN MY LIFE COMBINED.  And I don't say that lightly.  I don't pretend to be a medical professional but after some research and thoughtful consideration of what I know about her past and her family, I feel fairly confident that she has Borderline Personality disorder.  If its not that, she is certainly suffering from another disorder that has some of the same characteristics. 

 

During my time with her I dealt with many things.  She had intense outbursts of jealousy, hostility and callousness.  It was like dealing with a child sometimes.  Her ability to process difficult emotions seemed to operate at an adolescent level.  She made intense declarations of undying love and need for me.  There were vague possibilities of infidelity.  There was a rape that may or may not have actually happened.  An abortion that may or may not have happened of a child who may or may not have been mine.   It has been such a roller coaster.  I tried to break up with her some time ago but we kept in contact and ended up quickly back in the same dysfunctional cycle of emotional strain just through talking on the phone and texting! 

 

I'm a fairly level headed person and generally self aware.  I know I get some validation from being with her.  There is something very powerful in feeling like you're someone's "Answer".   She completely idealized me and it felt great.  But otherwise I don't have particularly low self esteem.  I come from a good family and had a relatively good upbringing with parents who are still together.  I'm generally confident and have a healthy sense of self worth.  So why is it so hard to completely let her go??  Why do I have this craving for some contact with her that lets me know she still wants or needs me??  Why can't I just walk away from someone who is clearly extremely unhealthy for me??  Why does the idea of her replacing me with someone else terrify me??  I've never been addicted to a substance but I feel like it must be similar to the sensations I'm having.  Panic attacks.  The need for some kind of contact with her.  Intense fear that my life won't work without her.  What is wrong with me??  Am I a codependant?  Something else??  What would help me leave her behind once and for all??

December 7, 2014
11:16 pm
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healthcare08
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December 7, 2014
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April 20, 2015
2:12 am
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Healthlawyer08
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A family health lawyer is more versed in illness and claims than a corporate lawyer is.

August 10, 2020
8:47 pm
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lisabaker
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A romantic relationship with someone with Borderline Personality disorder can be, in a word, stormy. It's not uncommon to experience a great deal of turmoil and dysfunction. However, people with Borderline Personality disorder can be exceptionally caring, compassionate, and affectionate. In fact, some people find this level of devotion from a partner pleasant.

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