Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
Moving Forward from Death
January 25, 2011
3:22 am
Avatar
Loretta
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 50
Member Since:
January 10, 2011
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I honestly don't think grief has a timeline, but there is a co-worker who is expressing concern over one of their family members because they don't seem to be moving on.  It's their aunt, who lost her husband not quite a year ago.  My co-worker says her aunt isn't socializing much.  She does a lot of picture staring and holding and I guess is just talking mostly about the past when her husband was alive.  She still works, though, and maintains her house and such.  I just think she needs more time.  Of course, I'm no expert and I don't even know my co-worker's family.  Any thoughts?

January 25, 2011
3:19 pm
Avatar
AnxietyRUs
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 49
Member Since:
January 10, 2011
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Give her time. People move on at different rates. I still find myself grieving about my mother and she's been dead for 20 years. It took me forever to quite thinking about going to pick her up to take her with me to the store. It's just going to take her aunt a while to get past this.

January 25, 2011
4:54 pm
Avatar
Alise
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 53
Member Since:
January 10, 2011
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Yes, it definitely takes time. As long as she is continuing to function and is not wasting away or becoming suicidal, I think it is good to just allow her time to grieve. She might even appreciate it if someone would visit with her and talk about her husband with her, allowing her to remember and grieve.

January 26, 2011
12:10 am
Avatar
Loretta
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 50
Member Since:
January 10, 2011
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thanks.  That is really what I thought, but some of her family are concerned.  I just really think people have to go on their own timetable.  I'll pass on the opinions to my co-worker and maybe suggest they get online themselves for assurance.

January 26, 2011
8:05 am
Avatar
BettyAnn
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 49
Member Since:
January 10, 2011
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

She may never really go "forward" from here. Some people can get on with their lives and others can't. I think the biggest thing is not to push her or try to force her. Her quality of life as far as socializing and being really happy may never improve, but she is functioning and I think it's important that she be allowed to handle her grief the way she wants to.

January 26, 2011
3:10 pm
Avatar
freeme
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 49
Member Since:
January 10, 2011
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

How old is she?  I know it takes people a long time to get over the death of a loved one.  Each person moves forward at their own pace.  I would not rush them to move forward, we all need to grieve at our own pace.  If she is rushed then she might never totally move forward.

January 27, 2011
3:09 am
Avatar
Loretta
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 50
Member Since:
January 10, 2011
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

You know, I am not sure of her age exactly.  I get the impression she is in her late 40's, based on what's been said so far.  They didn't have kids, either, so I think she's feeling a little lonely.

January 27, 2011
7:55 pm
Avatar
Alise
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 53
Member Since:
January 10, 2011
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Loneliness would definitely be a factor in a case like this. If she is willing to allow visits in her home, perhaps her relative could arrange for ladies to visit her and perhaps help her to experience a bit of social life within her own comfort zone?

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 247
Currently Online:
25
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110924
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38537
Posts: 714209
Newest Members:
delight1080, laticia1, Corties, patrickstayes, kevinkovalsky, izzy39
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer