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Explaining Death To Children
January 30, 2011
8:10 pm
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dtypist
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Death is very real but how can we explain this to the little ones? Do we say it as it is or make up stories for them not to worry too much?

January 31, 2011
6:32 am
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purplesaber
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Luckily, I haven't had to explain this to my toddler yet. I think when the time comes, I will tell him the truth, that dying is just a part of life.

January 31, 2011
7:31 am
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dtypist
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purplesaber said:

I will tell him the truth, that dying is just a part of life.


Maybe you mean the end of life instead of part of it. If possible, we shouldn't discuss this to the little ones as it might create trauma to them. I would rephrase my original message into "How would you tell the death of a loved one to a child?"
January 31, 2011
3:29 pm
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BettyAnn
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In this case, I would fall back on my religion and explain that so and so is now an angel watching over us and that he/she went home to be with God. I would probably also mention that they are always with us even if we can't see them.

January 1, 2014
11:38 am
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There are books and videos geared towards young children on this subject that you may want to review and consider to help explain death to a child.

January 2, 2014
7:22 am
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onedaythiswillpass
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It might not be my place to say how I feel about children and being told the truth in an age appropriate way, but being entirely honest with them iis a very important parenting rule.  Many parents feel they are protecting their children by simply entertaining myths about the reality of life & death & in my opinion that is quite simply a very huge disrespect towards them.

Children need to be told the truth about anything in an age appropriate way in my opinion.  No matter how terrible that truth may be.  Whatever the tradgedy, children must be respected to know what has happened, be it the death of a family member, friend, neighbour, etc.

I am quite simply appauld at parents who adopt children and decide to keep their adoption a secret.

 

I will never ever understand how you protect children by denying them the truth about anything.  Children are not given the credit they rightfully deserve.  In my opinion that is why they sometimes grow up to become untrusting.

Sure, you need to be delicate & explain whatever transpired in an age appropriate way, because what a 5yr old understands compared to a 14yr old understands psychologically makes an impact, but deciding to just not tell children is a horrible, tragic mistake in my opinion.

Years ago a man I had dated for five years passed away from a brain annerisim (sp.).  Him & I were engaged to be married & had broken up for a one year period because we both needed time to evaluate our decisions of whether we actually should be together.  I lived on my own for that year & had only started to make contact with him one week before his sudden death.  Prior to that, I had lived with him & his Mom for three years.  When he died from his congenital brain trauma, his Mom had only the phone # of my parents.  I had spoken to him from my apartment not one week prior to his passing.  We were talking about re-kindling our  relationship & we were considering making plans to go for coffee & start again.  I had wondered after four days why he had not called me back but I did not want to push him into anything, so I waited.

At the start of the new week my parents with whom I was estranged for many years, arrived at my apartment door to tell me that he had died.  They had decided not to tell me about his funeral, because they decided that I should not attend.  In horror and disbelief, I called his Mother & she confirmed that she did her best to contact my folks to tell them that she really wanted me to come to his funeral, but they took it upon themselves to deny me that respect.

To this day, I will never ever forgive them for not allowing me to say goodbye properly to a man that I shared such a big part of my life with.  I was about 22yrs old at the time.  Shame on them.

If you are worried about telling your children the truth in an age appropriate manner, shame on you.  Children deserve respect and honor just like every human being.

 

One Day

September 27, 2014
1:28 am
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PDan
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Not telling death to a child is really not good parenting, our only job is to train them, teach them, and mold their character so that they can be good persons when they get older. Not telling all the part of life means we are not respecting their right to know things about life. I really agree on this:

Children deserve respect and honor just like every human being.

November 30, 2014
10:43 am
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rakz105
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In my case, since there were deaths of people close to my kids when they were 2 and 3 years old, I had to tell them that their grandma and uncles had their missions on earth finished already. When they grew older, I hear them say the same things when somebody dies in the family. This gives all of us comfort and peace and enables us to grieve without anger and resentment.

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