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Past relationships influencing present
January 30, 2013
1:36 pm
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mrJones
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January 30, 2013
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I have a new girlfriend whom ive been dating for about 3 months, and things have been going well so far. only theres one problem- she has had several bad relationships and has been left with for lack of a better term post stress tramatic disorder. Every time we take a logical step forward in the relationship, it triggers what seems to be a mirror of a situation that she was in from a previous bad relationship. She is overcome with axiety and becomes distraught to the point that she wants to end the relationship and feels terrified that she will get hurt. she expresses an intense fear of being "vulnerable" and puts up an emotional barrier. this happens over the course of a day or two, and then she calms down and things then progress again until we reach another milestone and this repeats. All the while she tells me to be patient with her and i am. but its hard to keep from getting frustrated from this behavior.

 

she tells me that she has had severe mental distress from her most recent relationship which i will not disclose here, but its perfectly understandable why she feels what she does.

 

Question is this- is there some way i can help her to feel and know that the steps we take do not mirror the past and i am to be trusted with her emotions? its getting harder each time this happens.

January 31, 2013
12:57 am
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simplesi
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January 28, 2013
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Hello, 

 

I would say just reassure her and comfort her etc, Is it somethign you do that sparks her past or is it just solely her?

January 31, 2013
5:02 am
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dop
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I would suggest to her that she seek
some counseling. If you are truly interested in continuing the relationship tell
her that you are not going anywhere and will be by her side and that she should
seek a counselor to help her work through this. There are probably issues which
go beyond her relationships that she may not be aware of. Her reactions are
coming from a deeper part within her. There are no magic words you can say that
immediately changes her. A counselor would help her understand.

February 1, 2013
5:07 am
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ShiningLight
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It might be best to consult a therapist/counselor that can help her with her PTSD. That condition should not be taken so easy as it may cause damages in the future. As long as she's willing enough to get some professional help and determined to get better then she will be fine. You just have to lean and support each other as it will help your relationship grow stronger in times of crisis. Dop and simplesi advises are of great help. Hoping for the best.

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